Oh Right, It's the 29th

"The Vatican today formally released instructions that block active gay men from the priesthood, a long-anticipated document that has opened a divisive debate over how it will be applied and whether it will have a healing or detrimental effect on the Roman Catholic Church."

LA Times


So do you think he would count as active?

Phew?

So I stopped by the church office today to talk about the apocalyptic hope sermon. It helps that I live on the church property. Yes the apocalyptic language was intentional, but no the intention was not to deny the reality of the hope the Body of Christ lives in right now. It's all good- or at least it's mostly good. No one's getting loopy.

I mentioned my concern that there are enough people that are informed more by Hal Lindsey or Tim La Haye than the Bible that all you have to do is say apocalypse and you have a ton of baggage to unload. That this baggage wasn't unloaded worried me. See how much baggage there is? It freaked me out.

I would have erred on the side of really x 10 making clear that I wasn't talking about a hope that imagined hiding out until we are whisked off to the sky- especially in the context of Advent, but it's cool- I hope.

I trust our preaching pastors so I'm looking forward to where this ends up.

So talking about it was the right approach. It's important that Cyndi not hear she was right.

Hospital Song- Ben Fold's Five
So What- Miles Davis
Ten Years Gone- Led Zeppelin

I'm Sure in 1985, Plutonium Is Available at Every Corner Drugstore, But in 1955 It's a Little Hard to Come By

An aunt of mine remarried this weekend. Well technically she got married again for the first time.

Her first/never husband was a horrible man. He was an abusive, cheating, lying, drunk. When he was home, he was usually planted in front of the TV, drinking beer and watching soccer, crazy bug costume Mexican comedies, and Boxing. If it wasn't for my mom and grandmother I would have thought that's all there was to Spanish TV but they showed me it was also about novelas. Now I know it's also about crazy talk shows, grown ups dressed as little kids, and Sabado Gigante.

When I played with my cousins, we were told to keep it down because our noise made my not/uncle "nervous." It seems the more he drank, the more likely he was to get nervous and the more likely someone was to get smacked around.

My aunt never/eventually divorced him and after a long time married another man in a civil ceremony. She wanted a church ceremony so had to go through the process of getting an annulment.

She got her annulment so married the guy she married.

It's made my mom consider resuming the process of her annulment. That's not a happy thing. She and my dad have been divorced about 12 years now. She started the annulment process some time ago but didn't finish it because she's not getting married and it can be a very trying process.

It lays blame. It says you never had what it took to be married. It highlights your failure while at the same time there is a church official charged with contesting your claims that the marriage never was- and they are required to take the job very seriously. It doesn't allow one party to say it was all the other person's fault. It takes as reality the indissolubility of marriage. That's something I admit is necessary but I don't believe a special dispensation erases what really was. Also, I don't know how helpful it is to say, "You are so screwed up that the not marriage you were in technically never happened."

It at least acknowledges that there is more to marriage and (sotto voce) sex than simply a legal and physical arrangement. It seems to assume that the spiritual aspects of humans are as important and real as the corporeal (well I know it assumes that) even if I disagree with where it goes with that idea. Another "at least"- at least the Catholic Church treats the issue as if it is something that needs to be treated- and treated consistently at that. But still... you can't go back and pretend what was wasn't.

The cool thing about it though is it's kind of like time travel- well at least it has all those problems that need to be addressed if you were to travel back in time. Like- if you go back in time could you take anything with you- if what you have didn't exist in the time you travelled to, how could it have been made for you to take it? Or would I dissappear if my parent's marriage was annuled?

The Church long ago decreed that children from null marriages were legitimate (see- other people had the same question) and could still do all the Church-y things that needed to be done (so maybe that's not completely consistent). That's the big question my mom had. She asked me how I would feel if she got an annulment- she wanted to know if that would change how I saw myself. I reminded her I am not Catholic but still reassured her I would probably be okay.

I have a deeper appreciation for Catholicism now than I did growing up but there are a number of reasons I am decidedly not Catholic. Clarence Thomas and Antonin Scalia are only two of them. (If I were stupid, here is where I would insert "LOL.") This is probably another one.



I-Tunes Is On Fire This Morning
Pulled Up- Talking Heads
Little Acorns- The White Stripes
Come On Children, Let's Sing- Mahalia Jackson
A Night in Tunisia- Dizzy Gillespie
Razzle Dazzle- Scott Wise
Everything In Its Right Place- Radiohead
Good Vibrations- The Beach Boys
Houses of the Holy- Led Zeppelin
Wave of Mutilation- The Pixies
Mercy Mercy Me- Marvin Gaye
Overture- The Who
Problems- Sex Pistols

We Don't Even Fit In a Handbasket

Yesterday we began our advent preaching season. We've broken the Sundays up into five themes: Hope, Peace, Joy, Love, and Light. Generally, going with themes means whoever is preaching doesn't really use the Bible. I don't think preaching always has to be a verse by verse exposition of a passage of scripture. At our church though, it tends to be better if it is.

Yesterday was "Hope Sunday" and it was strangely not very hopeful. We had tag team preaching. That means the head and associate pastors took turns at the theme. The first, made a couple The Lord of the Rings references. It worked well. A couple of under-qualified, over looked, nobodies are charged with being the primary but underground struggle against evil even though they don't have a chance. That's a fair and apt illustration.

Then we got an overview of the Old Testament- well to be specific we got an overview of Genesis, Exodus, and I & II Samuel- along with a litany of how horrible things are today, what with wars, bird flu, earthquakes, hurricanes and tsunamis. The world is ending but hang on tight 'cos Jesus is coming.

The message seemed to be Yahweh was with His people in "Bible" days but He's not doing so much now so our hope is in the second coming of Jesus. That's Advent? That's hope? I wasn't sure at first if I was hearing what I thought I was hearing. I listened closer- and that's what it was. That's Christmas, folks. That's what there is.

Maybe I was supposed to be shocked into thinking more about the church and the real presence of Christ with his people. Maybe it was supposed to move me into participating in the preaching experience and find that despite those very real problems we move forward- not looking for resolution but relation. I hope that was it.

This was odd for our church. For the most part, we're not an end times, in case of rapture, left behind group. It's made me wonder where this came from. It is odd to say the least. To say more, Cyndi suggests I talk to the party involved about it- at least to ask for clarification on how their theology is developing these days or to suggest some authors on the subject of hope.

That sounds a bit arrogant to me. Clearly I think it's better to let it stew and be angry about it.

Interestingly, I read this (I'll warn you, it will make you think of the "F" word) this morning. I'm not going to list my Christian bona fides- I'm doing okay, so if this article freaks you out you'll have to find a way to deal with it other than questioning my thoughts on eschatology.


No Random Playlist Tonight
Jimi Hendrix- Band of Gypsies

Turkey Fest '05

Things other than turkey that went into the deep fryer:
Marshmallows
Brownies
Zingers
Twinkies
Mashed Potatoes
Pumpkin Bread
Pumpkin Pie
Bacon
An Egg

I am thankful for deep fried turkeys

Pecca Fortiter

My favorite scene in Animal House is about 5 seconds long. During the parade in the big finale, an attractive coed is catapulted, in her underwear, through an open window, and onto a pubescent boy's bed. He immediately looks up and says, "Thanks, God."

Most of us will be doing a lot of that today.

Dear Candidate;

Congratulations on your recent advancement to this stage of candidacy. Receiving the Sacrament of Orders is a serious and life changing event. We know you have approached this matter understanding the profound privilege and responsibility it is to serve as a minister of the Church, deputed and empowered to perform certain offices of Divine worship. We hope you are making yourself ready to receive an increase of sanctifying grace, making you a fit and holy minister in the discharge of your prospective office. To help us qualify our assessment of your spiritual, mental, moral, and physical qualities required for the fitting discharge of the order, please answer the following questions. Attach additional sheets if you feel further explanation is needed.

You go to dinner with Charles Nelson Reilly, Paul Lynde, and Richard Simmons. Who do you sit by?
What is Ultra-Suede?
Would you rather drive a Dodge Neon or KITT?
Have you ever worn chaps?
Have you ever been alone with another man while listening to "It's Raining Men?"
Which of the following would you describe as "fabulous?"

Your Yorkie
Your curtains

If you are not ordained, which "career lifestyle" do you see yourself following?

Florist
Interior designer
Flight attendant
Cowboy
Motorcycle Cop
Indian
Construction Worker
Biker

What is chevre?

Thank you for taking the time to help us discern your suitability and giftedness.

Sincerely,
- - -

There's No Need to Be Unhappy...

"Men who have 'deep-rooted homosexual tendencies' or who sustain a 'gay culture' may not be trained to become Roman Catholic priests, the Vatican says in a new document posted Tuesday on a Catholic news website.

However, the church says, if a man had 'transitory' homosexual tendencies that have been 'overcome' for at least three years, he may be admitted to a seminary, the school that trains priests.

The document was quickly criticized by some gay rights sympathizers, who say the church does not understand homosexuality."

LA Times

Never mind the long convoluted history of sex in the church- I guess I should say "The Church"- the Vatican's general position on homosexual priests was that one could not be actively gay and be a priest. That meant you could be gay but you couldn't do gay. This was consistent with the approach to celibacy for non-gay priests. You could be not gay but not do not gay (?). There are problems with this but at least it was consistent.

That part about tendencies though; that's new. I wonder what, if anything, that means for not gay priests, but even more I wonder what exactly "deep-rooted homosexual tendencies" or a "gay culture" are. If it's what I think it is- why does it matter? I don't imagine Paris Hilton or the characters from Sex & The City want to be priests anyway.

I'm not a gay Catholic priest; I'll never be a gay Catholic priest, but I think this feeds (and exists because of) a lot of the nonsense surrounding issues of sexuality in the church; so it matters to me and others too. I don't buy the approach to sex (and sometimes the universe in general) the Catholic church and a lot of the rest of the church rely on. (Hmm, that's loaded.) I don't mean it's inconvenient to me so I reject it. I mean it's wrong- as far as I understand it and Christianity.

If you work with the understanding that actions in themselves have value attached to them then you would say something like, "Don't do 'X'" or, "Be sure to do 'Not X' and you're in the club." In short- every act of sex has to be open to reproduction or it's wrong is the "Not X." Gay just like not gay celibacy fits that. But the tendency and culture parts change things. It may be a good change if it brings us to see actions connected to people. It seems more though that it will simply broaden the list of prohibited acts. We'll see.

The whole document will be released on the 29th; we'll know more then. But right now, how silly is it to believe there is a "gay culture" or "tendencies" that are sin that bar one from being a priest? All I can imagine are stupid stereotypes or absurdly hilarious questionnaires and interviews with a lot of "Do you now or have you ever..." type questions.

Sitting In Limbo- Jimmy Cliff
Uptight- Stevie Wonder
Jackass- Green Day
Last Stop: This Town- The Eels
Heroes- David Bowie
American Idiot- Green Day
She Watch Channel Zero?!- Public Enemy
The Guns of Brixton- The Clash

Ipecac

These explain an awful lot too.

This Is the Edge

This morning NPR was deconstructing parts of the same speech I looked at the other day. Of course they were much more circumspect about it, but they did say that there was a lot of hedging about what is true, especially when contrasting who said what they knew when and how. I'm guessing there's going to be a lot more in the news about the NIE on Iraq, another released intelligence review, and the president's statement that Congress had access to the same information he did. So what? I'm not saying I was the first to suggest these things- but hey I did mention them before NPR so there's something to my being a little bit ahead of the larger pop culture curve. Like being Latino- I was doing that way before it was cool.

I also got a ton of those "you have been logged on illegal websites..." emails a couple of days before anyone was talking about them. I'm so cutting edge. I didn't figure it was real so deleted it, and in the off chance that it was- I'm sure the CIA would know how to get in touch with me again. But then I started getting more and more.

It made me wonder how lame you have to be to open an attachment that comes from someone you don't know. If you haven't seen it already, this is how sophisticated the doorway is:

Dear Sir/Madam,

we have logged your IP-address on more than 30 illegal Websites.

Important:
Please answer our questions!
The list of questions are attached.


Yours faithfully,
Steven Allison



++++ Central Intelligence Agency -CIA-
++++ Office of Public Affairs
++++ Washington, D.C. 20505

++++ phone: (703) 482-0623

Really- that's how the CIA would conduct its investigations? Okay- I guess I should open the attachment- What, what happened?

Where do you even begin with how horribly stupid the set up is? I got a ton more in the following days with different headings- some from the FBI, aol, yahoo, schools, and administrators. This means people I know, or at least people with my address were opening the attachments.

So this is how we think the CIA works. It kind of explains a lot.


These Songs Are Cool- Get on the Wagon While You can
Hurricane- Bob Dylan
Riot- Miles Davis
World's A Mess- X

Sometimes Something is Nothing

Of the more than half a million sites one finds searching for "'see through a glass dimly" with Google in the UK, mine is the first. That's a pretty specific search isn't it?

Okay, so one guest on el show kept saying how horrible it was for anyone to judge any choice someone else makes. That what we needed to do was be open minded and accept other people's spirits. I don't even know what that means- and when pressed, neither did she.

The gist of her take was that there's an unfair social stigma attached to women involved in stripping, prostitution, and pornography; though in her own life she would not, date or marry a "sex worker" nor would she allow any of her children to do the same or be involved in the industry because there's a stigma attached. She said bodies are beautiful things and it's a wonderful thing for a woman to want to share that on a stage. She said I was a hypocrite if I ever saw a nude person in a movie or had sex with my wife while saying that it was wrong for anyone else to do the same. She couldn't understand why I thought they were not the same.

The other guy on the "panel" advocated seeing people (well at least the women) in the sex trade as "hoes" (is that the correct plural?)- it's a morally reprehensible thing to do. Though he conceded he would and does go to "gentlemen's clubs." Those are interesting sides to a coin. One side saying it's okay to do but I wouldn't do it. The other side saying it's not okay but I do it. I guess to be fair- he was actually saying what they were doing is wrong, not that going to see a stripper is necessarily wrong.

Nobody believed that I had never been to a strip bar- well at first they believed it 'cause they thought I was gay. Then when they learned I was married no one believed I wasn't into strippers. Again, that idea of not being able to see real live people as more than objects to be consumed came up. That's totally my bag- don't steal it.

I wasn't really good on the show because I didn't have an idea to throw out there. I was more interested in responding to and asking about what the others were saying. Not that I don't have thoughts on the subject- I was just kind of turned off by the format. I knew it was coming, my bad.

I'm not going to try to connect this or turn it into anything more than what it is here. Except that it's all kind of connected to that idea of chastity that I said I wanted to write about more but haven't. It was pretty lame. It took a lot for me to not be mean- or at least to not say, "That's stupid." Would that have been mean? Oh well.

Today's Column One (a Times feature) reported on the increase of having mistresses and divorces in China coinciding with the broadening of capitalism. Their divorce rate is still in the low 20% range though. Oh they have so much to learn.

Morning Has Broken- Cat Stevens
Motion Picture Soundtrack- Radiohead
Bombtrack- Rage Against the Machine
Big Me- Foo Fighters
Smile- Weezer
Circle- Miles Davis
Fairies Wear Boots- Black Sabbath
Medication is Wearing Off- The Eels
You Really Got Me- The Kinks
Where Boys Fear to Tread- Smashing Pumpkins
Top of the World- Shonen Knife

Qu'est-ce que c'est

So I taped the Latino View today. It was exactly what you would expect- if you expect a lot of talking over each other without listening. It was silly. I got a free meal out of it though. That made it worthwhile. I guess that makes me the Starr Jones.

Oh I just realized that seems like I'm making fun of her size. I'm not. I'm making fun of her reputation for looking for freebies.

This is the first opportunity I've had to sit and write about it, or anything else for that matter, and I've got a bee hive of thoughts on it- but I'm going to bed.

No Mas Trabajodoras de Sexo

So tomorrow I go to tape that TV show I mentioned. I've been describing it as a sort of hybrid of The View for Latinos and that show Jon Favreau makes where famous people sit around and gab about whatever. It's like that. A bunch of us sit around a table and talk about a specific topic, in this case the topic is "sex workers."

I was picked for this show because of my name (for those who don't know it's Mexican de los Brownies). Well I was selected as a possible participant because of my name. My picture and interview with the producers pushed me to the front of the line. This means they either thought I was articulate and thoughtful or that I was likely to get in a fight with the other participants. Given the way a lot of Spanish TV talk shows work it can only be the latter.

This is misleading- it's not a Spanish talk show. It's more oriented toward a market that is just beginning to be exploited- the Mes and Like Mes. You may see in the future, depending where you live, more and more shows, even a couple of channels, targeting English speaking Latino culture. This doesn't just mean Brown people, but White people who like Brown people's stuff (my wife would be one of those). This show is like that- except I don't have to wear a Luche Libre mask or do back-up vocals for Beck.

So the producers picked a handful of different nobodies who have some type of thought or other on this or that. I guess they want to show that Latinos, like everyone else, have only partially developed, inconsistent, and contradictory thoughts on a number of topics. I fear I'll do a great job of this.

What About Morissey, Buey?
Where I End and You Begin- Radiohead
Overture- The Marriage of Figaro
Wave of Mutilation- The Pixies
I'll Take You There- The Staple Singers
Satisfaction- Devo
In the Garage- Weezer
Dance War- Frank Black

It's Not You; It's Me

This might sound much worse than I mean it: I care about me. If it does sound bad it may be because we find it difficult to care for ourselves without caring only for ourselves. That's not what I mean. I care about my self, I care about who I am and who I am becoming.

Lately I've been really wrapped up in being angry and harping on things that don't help that. Or maybe I've just been settling for being angry about things that are so easily contemptible and thinking that's worth something. Maybe that's what it is- I don't know. Right now it feels shallow.

I read the paper this morning and among other things read yet another story about the Keystone Cop approach to governance and was more disgusted with myself for reacting to it than I could or maybe should be with the actors or powers in the story. Sure it matters, and it is entirely appropriate to get upset about stuff that is upset-worthy. But I wonder if I've been settling for that- or if it's been a sort of pornography to me. Well, I guess I less wonder if it is than confess that it has been.

This doesn't mean this is how it is or need be for anyone else. I don't know anyone else.

Que Onda Guero- Beck
Take, Take, Take- The White Stripes
Gimme Shelter- The Rolling Stones
Nowhere Man- The Beatles
Come Into My Life- Jimmy Cliff

The Wheel's Still In Spin

Who says satire's dead? We in the US have our very own Satirist Laureate.

We've had to call the cops on our neighbors a couple of times. One time "the mom" was in the middle of the street beating her grown kid with a shovel handle. A lot of times they just yell at each other a lot, but when it gets out of hand we'll make a call. The times we've interacted with them they've never given any indication that they hold this against us. I guess they know sometimes people nearby have to get others involved. But sometimes it's okay to just let people fight it out.

And What Is Truth?

Skybalon's Mom- Did you go to school today?
Skybalon- shocked to be asked- Yeah.
(I did in fact go to school- I just seldom stayed)
Skybalon's Mom- Why did I get a call from school asking where you were?
Skybalon- shrugging -Uhuhuh... There's another Robert Gonzalez there, they sometimes confuse us- maybe they meant the other one. I was at school today. (Really- I had no way of knowing why the school would call and ask where I was- I could speculate but that's not what I was asked to do. And there really was another student there with my name. That was true, and frequently very convenient.)

Ahh what passes for truth to the morally undeveloped... or spiritually dead.

Did you know that the Republican led Senate Select Intelligence Committee- the one group of Senators who had the intelligence clearance to see the actual, "uninterpreted," National Intelligence Estimate on Iraq voted against the authorization for the use of force against Iraq? That's right. Their Republican president wanted to invade Iraq and based on what they saw, they said, "no."

Hippies.

After that, others got the "sanitized" intelligence summary crafted by CIA director George Tenet. This version excluded information that discredited the intelligence and statements used as a justification for war.

"Members of the Congress of both political parties, and members of the United Nations Security Council, agree that Saddam Hussein is a threat to peace and must disarm. We agree that the Iraqi dictator must not be permitted to threaten America and the world with horrible poisons and diseases and gases and atomic weapons. Since we all agree on this goal, the issues is : how can we best achieve it?"
(Sure according to intelligence the threat is being successfully addressed with enormous no fly zones, international sanctions, weapons inspectors, and his own enemies surrounding him but I wants me a war.)

"We know that the regime has produced thousands of tons of chemical agents, including mustard gas, sarin nerve gas, VX nerve gas. Saddam Hussein also has experience in using chemical weapons. He has ordered chemical attacks on Iran, and on more than forty villages in his own country. These actions killed or injured at least 20,000 people, more than six times the number of people who died in the attacks of September the 11th."
(They did produce it- I'm totally telling the truth- they don't have it now- but whatever.)

"We've learned that Iraq has trained al Qaeda members in bomb-making and poisons and gases."
(Hah we did 'learn' that. But we also know that the CIA finds the source not very credible- stupids)

If you go to this link see if anything in the graphic strikes you as ironic or... say subliminably confessional.

The Adventure and The Resolution- Frank Black
Let Down- Radiohead
New York- Sex Pistols
Army of Me- Bjork

A Tortured Argument

"Hey, Jesus, I can't help but look at women as if they were objects created simply for my pleasure and gratification; but I don't have sex with any of them, mostly because they tend to find me repulsive. I just look, well I guess, really, I leer.. and stare. I do that too. But no sex- none at all. So it's cool right?"

"No it's not cool- if you look at a woman that way, you don't see her the way I want you to see her. If you see anybody as an object- as something to be consumed by you- you don't see them the way I see them or the way you should see them. In fact you don't see yourself as you were created to. You're not alive the way you are meant to be, that's why you can't help it-

"Hey wait, Jesus, aren't you redefining 'adultery' by saying that?"

"Yes- I am."

"But you're making the definition more powerful than it was before."

"I am- that's because it's possible to live in a greater power than you do now. "

"That's weird"

...

"So hey, can I do that then? I mean, what if someday I need to torture somebody? I just change what it means to torture- and 'squibeldy-do' it's all good."

"No- that's the opposite of what I just did."

"So I can't do that?"

"No... you're kind of missing the point."

"Oh."

Make A Little Birdhouse in Your Soul

There are some church bodies responding to our not so Christian national advocacy or redefinition of torture. Their influence is limited though.

Sojourners has been calling our country to account and asking Christians to get engaged. The NCC has recently spoken out against torture too. That's good.

Sojourners has been effective in bringing to light other issues ignored by the Oval Office prayer team and reminding the church and the world that being a Christian is about more than putting up monuments to the 10 Commandments, resurrecting Deist creation theories, making sure babies have the right to be born (but after that screw them), or upholding marriage by making sure gays can't do it because we can't uphold it by staying married ourselves.

The thing about the NCC and Sojourners though, most Evangelical pastors could not care less what they say. The Bible might suggest it, the Holy Spirit might lead us to it, voices in the Body of Christ might be articulating it, but unless James Dobson or Ted Haggard decree it (and send out talking point bulletins), we just can't find the will to care.

I understand how difficult it must be to find the time to think about something like torture. If I had to preach and do all the other things pastors do, I might rely on topics sent from the Mother Hen too. So get the Mother Hen to say something.

Bob says he can't believe we're having this conversation in America. I can't either; it's letting out a cat that's been happily in the bag for a long time. (If that's too subtle- We, like other nations, have historically relied on torture). More egregious though is the silence of Evangelicals- I can't believe that. There- you have two people who can't believe something. Is that what we want- people going around in disbelief?

So absolutely contact your legislators (the Sojourners link above can help with that). But, like I said before, contact Pastor Ted and Jimmy D.. Remind them who they follow. Remind them who they represent. Remind them whose power fills us.

I think another feature I might add is how many times I avoided "swear" words- that is, how many seemed to crop up in my thoughts that I avoided in writing. (I tend to not believe in bad words- but I know other people do. What can I say- I'm a giver). This time there were 2. I wonder if you could guess which ones and where.

Samba Para Ti- Santana
Bonnie's Blues- Dizzy Gillespie
Come Around Again- Jet
Same Dress New Day- Tripping Daisy
Summertime- Johnny Come Lately
Humming Chorus- Herbert Von Karajan

[Not] Big In Japan

The World is one of my least favorite NPR shows. It is one of my favorite places though. In that spirit I thought I would mention the parts of the world people stopping by represent:
A bunch of us from all over the US
Australia
UK
Argentina
Portugal
Mexico
Barbados
Canada
Guatemala

Blinded Me With Science

I'm working on the assumption that there is a connection between feminized fish and the new strain of granola Evangelicals. Because I have a lot of other things to do I did some searching for any studies that show torture, poverty or bullets also causing feminization. If it works for fish...

I used "lead," "pollutant," "feminization," and "sex" for one set of search criteria. So far in biology journals I've found articles on fish, reptile, amphibian, roach, and mosquito feminization caused by various pollutants; unusually high same sex pairings (!!) among birds near Super Fund sites; and I learned there is something called a mummichog. But I haven't found anything to scare people into worrying that lead (in the form of bullets) might make someone gay.

I searched some social science databases with the criteria "torture," "poverty," "bullet," and "homosexual." I found some articles that discuss sexual risk as an outcome of social oppression, some data that can be misrepresented to correlate poverty with promiscuity, and gun shot wounds and STD's- nothing that says being poor will make you gay, though. That's too bad. I hoped I could find something that would convince Evangelicals that there are social concerns other than the whats and whos of people's sex lives. Of course I'm using sex to do that- ha!

I guess I don't really need facts. What I really need is a catchy title, some proof texts, a little innuendo, and just enough data to take advantage of our good old below average rankings in science education. All that in a carefully crafted email forward might create an Evangelical movement to rival that of Antebellum America.

She's Tidied Up and I Can't Find Anything
So Much Things To Say- Bob Marley
Kim- Charlie Parker
We'll Get Over- The Staple Singers
The Union Forever- The White Stripes