Everything's Coming Up Skybaloncont'd

Dear Dr. SAMAILLA NUHU
I am glad to hear from you, but I should say, I am not surprised at all. I have just finished reading the Prayer of Jabez and knew that something to "enlarge my territory" was bound to come my way.

It's curious that the Burkina Faso Chamber of Commerce would have my email address or that any of my kin would have been killed in Liberia, but we know the Lord works in mysterious ways.

I am very eager to participate in this transfer of funds but wonder why I only get 45% of the 25.6 million. It seems that I deserve more, especially since this is an answer to prayer and I am an American. I don't mean that I deserve more simply because I am an American. You should know, that the $6,000,000 or so I would receive after taxes is hardly worth anything in my country. I understand that from your perspective this might seem like a large sum. Well, I am happy to tell you it isn't. I could hardly achieve the measure of life and largesse I see out my window with only $6,000,000. A house alone could eat up more than half of that. It seems only fair then, that I get a larger percentage, perhaps as much as 85%.

Before you say, "No," consider how much 15% is worth to you given your country's per capita GDP. I bet nearly $4,000,000 for you would go further in Burkina Faso than the $7,000,000 for me in Southern California. I could try to explain the vagaries of our global economy or the "dollar a day" rule of my purchasing power versus yours, but I'm afraid there is just no real way for you to relate to such wealth. Let's just say the split you suggest is untenable. It's another one of those divine mysteries.

So, yes. Let's split that money, but before we do I have a few questions I hope you can answer:
1.) I am confused, am I really the next of kin or are we pretending I am the next of kin (wink)?
2.) Do you agree to the 85-15 split I suggested?
3.) Can we arrange that I be paid with one of those big foam-core novelty checks?

I apologize for taking so long to get back to you. Thank you for being an answer to prayer; I look forward to you answering my questions and me sending whatever sensitive information you request.

Sincerely
-skybalon