You Can Take the Boy Out of the Catholic Church, But You Can't Take the Catholic Church Out of the Boy

I wonder what kind of creepy searchers will come across this post because of the title.

So today is Ash Wednesday. It doesn't mean as much today, and by today I mean "these days"... I guess I should just say that then- It doesn't mean as much these days to put ashes on your head as it might have if you were you 1300 years ago- or if you were Job. Having ashes on your head is now kind of a cultural identity marker. That's something but not the same something as shaming yourself, or being in mourning for what you've done, or trading your pride for a mantle of humility. Maybe there is some benefit to putting a glob of palm ash on your head and saying "I'm one of those people," but that's not the main point of putting ashes on your head.

Just so I'm clear, I don't go for the devotional penance that wearing ashes is but I appreciate the penitential sentiment of ash wearing. That is, there isn't really an act that is necessarily penitential in itself but the expression of penance, or more specifically a sense of mourning or sorrow, is good and needed. Only, wearing ashes isn't it. Even if it ever was, it's not now.

If you were to put ashes on your head on any other day, you would likely get odd looks and somebody at some point would probably tell you there was dirt on your head; but few would think "Oh that girl must be in shameful mourning." Doing it today, and by that I mean "today," may be odd but it doesn't require explanation. Depending on the neighborhood, everyone else might know what you were doing or it might take a couple of beats for them to think "Oh right, Ash Wednesday" but it's not going to be much more than a means of identifying with a group. I guess I'm not thinking as diversely as a good hippy should but I'm pressed to think of a place I could go in my neck of the woods where ashes on the forehead would be inexplicable. The assumption is: It's Ash Wednesday, I guess I'm supposed to be sad or something- I dunno. Anyway, whatever the assumed meaning is, it might be a problem because it likely isn't A.) good God, I'm sorry and B.) now that I am sorry I want to suffer with you.

It's supposed to mean quite the opposite of what we take Christianity to frequently mean. While on the one hand it is a big deal, quite an amazingly big joy and hope-filled deal, that God became human so that the inverse might happen, on the other hand, it happened because of our sin and so that we could be as abject as God is in that turn. Drag.

Now most of the time I am fine with saying, "Well if that's what it means to you, then go for it," but in this case, it's not just for "you." This is supposed to be a time to let other people know we are mournful and humbled- (not for bickering over who killed who). I don't know if a smudge of ashes on my face says that. Even if we "authenticate" it by explaining the symbolism and accompany it with just the right melancholy minor scale and lighting, it's a bit navel gazey. It's just for us, ashes don't mean much to everyone else. I guess mourning and shame themselves, don't really have a place in our culture. So if I really want to, how do I tell people I'm all about suffering so that I can be like Christ in his death- I mean other than actually doing it of course? If I wanted to substitute that for some symbolic penitence or humility what could I even use?

Crying? Balloons and flowers? Nothing works. Then I guess we're stuck with actually being penitent and humble. Dang,