The Grapes of Stupid

I don't know if it's due to a change in the season, something in the water, moon phase, magnetic fields, pollen, or what but some people I know are saying some very stupid things. We all say stupid things, but lately some of the stupid is of a specific flavor. It tastes like privilege with an undertone of guilt and a strong AM radio finish.

I know a good number of people who would not have anything to do with Rush Limbaugh if they knew him, but nevertheless listen to him.

I don't mean they just hear what he has to say on the radio. I mean they take what he has to say as the way to understand their world. I don't suppose it's necessary that we gain understanding or insight from people who are perfect. Actually, I guess I would say it's not possible that we listen to only the perfect- but I think we at least prefer the trying. Or we should.

But here we have someone utterly contemptible- well beyond the way most any of us are contemptible- who holds sway over so many that would prefer their gurus be virtuous or tell themselves they would find the way Rush Limbaugh actually lives to be offensive to their moral sensibilities.

It's ironic that so many people who would see themselves as preservers of purity and virtue look up to such a model of self-indulgence and cynicism. Well, it's ironic or calculated. Though I wouldn't describe many of the Limbauphiles I know as calculting. Earnest. Variously threatened. White.

Oh that's right. That's where I was headed. This is about race. This is about racism and the kind of racist you are. We are types of racists and in at least a couple of corners, I'm hearing nonsense that is almost word for word Rush (no, not that Rush) or clearly inspired by other AM monkeys.

I'm not suggesting Rush Limbaugh or the KFI morons make people some type of racist. But being a kind of racist makes some people want to listen to Rush Limbaugh and other KFI jerks.

A long time ago I said I would come up with some sort of field guide or quiz about what kind of racist you are. Well, I'm still not ambitious enough to do that, but recent events have added more types o' racists to my previous.

So without definitions, this is what I had before:
"Federline" racist
"Sleep With the Help" racist
"They're Just Good at It" racist
"Would You Want to Live Next to Them?" racist
"You Know- The Tall Guy With Curly Hair Wearing the Red Shirt Standing By the Door" racist
"She's Very Articulate" racist
"I'm Just Sayin' They Should Learn English" racist.

Those are pretty good, but hardly all inclusive (and shouldn't we be inclusive when talking about race?). I have added these:
The "Kick The Dog" racist-
AKA the "I Somehow Think Illegal Aliens Are Ruining My Way of Life So When Confronted With One of the Challenges of My Existence I Respond With, 'Arrrgh, Those Stinkin' Illegal Aliens...'" racist
The "I Can't Spell 'Surpereor,' But That's What I Am" racist
The "When I Say, 'Why Don't They Just Learn to Be American,' I Mean, 'Why Don't They Learn to Be Normal,' and When I Say, 'Normal,' I Mean, 'White'" racist
The "I've Never Really Thought About It, But Now That You Mention It, My Family and Life Are Worth More Than Yours So That Justifies the Neglect of Your Life and Family So That You Can Take Care of Mine" racist
The "I Can Say It If They Can" racist
The "I'm Uncomfortable With Labels of Ethnicity Because I Imbue Them With Value" racist
The "Laughing for the Wrong Reason" racist (that could be explained by a Venn diagram with Dave Chappelle is Funny/Satire on one side and Carlos Mencia is Funny/Stupid on the other. The overlap is this type of racist)
The "It's About Heritage, Not Racism" racist
The "I Like Everything But Rap" racist

So much racism. I guess at some point you just have to draw a line and say, "That's it." This is that line. I don't mean, "That's it, I can't take anymore racism." What am I going to do- become a hermit? I mean, "That's it, I have to stop writing this list because I could go on forever." There are probably as many types and hybrids of racism as there are people. We're all unique in our racism; isn't that very special?

Maybe at some point this summer I will actually come up with a quiz so you know what kind of racist you are. Or maybe at some point this summer, probably in August when it's 109 degrees and I'm short tempered and tired, I'll just tell you what kind of racist you are.

It's Cool, Some of My Best Friends Are Racists
Ten Years Gone- Led Zeppelin
New York- Sex Pistols
Blackbird- TheBeatles
Buckets of Rain- Bob Dylan
Prettiest Star- David Bowie
Roll Plymouth Rock- Brian Wilson
Find My Way- Soulfood 76
Give it Up Turn it Loose- James Brown
The Seeker- The Who
Pictures of You- The Cure
Blackhole- Beck
Nowhere at All- Lou Reed
Smokestack Lightning- Howlin' Wolf