It's a Caricature Not a Choice

-Abortions for all
-Booooooo!
-Very well, no abortions for anyone
-Booooooo!
-Abortions for some, miniature American flags for others
-Hoorraaaayyyy

I suppose somewhere in the world there might be someone who thinks of abortion as akin to cleaning out your ears. I don't know them, but that doesn't mean that they don't exist. I also suppose somewhere there might be someone who thinks a woman considering or doctors performing abortions should be executed. Those are possible. But I would bet most people are somewhere else with their thoughts.

The people I know who have had abortions didn't think of it as a procedure like having their tonsils removed or clipping their toenails. I also don't think they needed somebody telling them what they did, or were considering was wrong. Well... I don't think what they needed me to do was tell them that they were wrong. (But clearly I'm a homo relativist hippy... what else... humanist- I don't know. What else are we calling the boogey men these days?). They also didn't seem to need a reminder that the decision they were making involved another being- person if you prefer. It was a difficult decision because of that. For some, I guess that's what puts that kind of decision out of bounds- or makes it something that can't be a decision. There is no choice to make, you're pregnant- you stay pregnant. Life is life. (Although I've often heard sex described as the choice that has been made and pregnancy as the consequence- sort of like being pregnant and raising a child are the punishment for making the choice to enjoy sex. That's what you get.) But for others it seems those are the factors that ultimately make it an issue of personal choice- it's the kind of decision that can only be personal, even if it's made with counsel, guidance, etc...

Whatever- what I wanted to get at was the use of fetal symbols to protest abortion. I don't know if you've ever seen this done, but some people have used little fetus symbols to protest abortion. It's often a picture or sculpture of a fetus or images of aborted fetuses that are used. In at least one case, someone got their hands on an actual fetus and used it as a tool of protest.

It seems to me that they have a couple of purposes. One might be to gross you out- to remind you that abortion is a gross thing- it's bloody and messy. Yuck! Because it's distasteful you shouldn't do it. Another reason, probably more likely, or if not more likely, at least better, is to remind people that fetuses are cute, and kind of like a person, so what you're thinking about doing should make you feel bad and guilty. (In case you didn't already.) But then, if you didn't, would a picture or small sculpture of a fetus make you feel bad and guilty? Probably. But so bad and guilty you would not have an abortion? I don't think it would. But I don't think that's the end of that.

If I were someone else I would have the perfect solution to that. I mean I have the perfect solution, and if I were someone else I would execute it. I would make A GIANT PROTEST FETUS COSTUME! Something bigger and cuter that can really get in someone's face. It could put its thumb in its mouth or play the guitar and dance around. It could wear t-shirts or oversized trucker hats with sentimental sayings on them.

Like I said, I would do this if I were someone else. As it is, I find it very offensive. Offensive- but I must admit, probably effective. Then people would see that life is life.

As it is, it's not so clear is it?

Anyway, I'm soon going to have a surgery to remove my tongue ugly. (It's gross and distasteful but I must have it done). I should be fine, but should things go not according to plan I want two things, actually three things- the first is that a clear DNR/DNAR order be honored, second that anyone who says "It was meant to be" or "God's teaching qweenbeen a lesson" or some such of that nature should be hit in the shin with an aluminum baseball bat, and third, I want my corpse to be freeze-dried, pulverized, and used as fertilizer- where will be left up to local codes but I think it would be funny to be sprinkled about the pumpkin patch and the in-law's backyard.

So that's that. DNR me. Is that clear?

Unless of course someone has the bright idea to make a giant pantomime skybalon- and they go around dancing and playing a steel drum to remind everyone that life is life. Even if its revived from cardiac or respiratory failure and has suffered serious brain damage and won't be able to complete its dissertation proposal or go back to teaching and growing pumpkins or playing with dogs or having sex with his wife or being snarky. Life is life.

Then we will have no choice- or you will have no choice. In that case, if I am in some sort of persistent vegetative state, feel free to dress me up in silly outfits or write the word "Balls" on my face. It's what I would've wanted.

Clever Appropriate Title
Hell Yes- Beck
Please, Please, Please...- The Smiths
Battle Royal- Duke Ellington
All Along the Watchtower- Bob Dylan
Big Time- Peter Gabriel
Jesus Walking on The Water- Violent Femmes
I Bleed- Pixies
The Skin of My Yellow Country Teeth- Clap Your Hands Say Yeah
World's a Mess; It's In My Kiss- X