He's A Dear Friend

If the prayer of a righteous person does a lot, what does the prayer of a Karl Rove do? Karl has said he does not have the privilege of being a person of faith, but in his goodbye this morning he said he would be praying for MY PRESIDENT. I wonder if all this time Karl has been asking God for wisdom and strength for MY PRESIDENT and this is what we got. That explains some things.

That Karl Rove, accused of being the political mind behind so much evil poop (and a key bit of evidence against the "But he's a good man" argument), is leaving is odd. This isn't a gang that cuts people loose before it's time. It's also not a gang that hangs you out to dry. What does it mean?

You're Still Here? It's Over- Go Home- Go

WASHINGTON- To see the type of person who still backs him, President Bush need only look in the mirror. The president fits the composite of today's Bush supporter: a conservative, white, Republican man, an evangelical Christian who goes to church regularly.

AP/Washington Post

I don't know if that's who MY PRESIDENT really is. Well first of all, I guess it's hard to say even say what that is? When I think conservative I think more of a librarian than a frat boy. And white? What does that mean? Britney Spears-white? George Allen-white? Bill Gates-white? It's not just about skin color is it?

I'm pretty sure it means the people who still support MY PRESIDENT identify with him; whether it really is him is another matter. It seems like the plain-speaking, church-going, folksy Christian cowboy persona is a convenient construction- convenient because, if John Hughes taught us anything, we know the kids with the fancy cars and clear skin are the villains. He is, after all, a Connecticut born, Ivy League, heir to an American oligarchic dynasty- a John Hughes bad guy if there ever was one. That's not very presidential- well, it's absolutely presidential but we like to pretend it's not.

It might not matter to them, though. If that's who he really is or not, it plays for at least that steadfast 1/4 to 1/3 of Americans who believe in his folksy wholesomeness and a young earth despite evidence to the contrary. They see the simple man who loves his momma (not his mother), says "ain't" (just like every other Andover grad), and prays... Boy does he like to let us know he prays- and feels the prayers of others. Someone could look at him and say, "He's one of us." Which sometimes, in some circles, means, "That's me; I love it 'cos it's me." That's not love, and it's certainly no starting point for community. Rather seems like a bit of idolatry doesn't it? No? How about a horribly malformed body- one composed only of gluteal clefts?

I'm a big fan of the body as metaphor for understanding all kinds of junk. A finger is a finger, for example, only in its connection to and relation with other parts- it's articulation and use is impossible apart from other different elements. That's a helpful way for me to understand us. I'm of the mind that who we are is expressed in what we do (and what we say is in the range of possibilities) in our relative choices. So not only do I play a unique role in a community, I also know who I am through connection and interaction with others. It's limited of course. A finger is a finger and a person is a person. I don't know what all makes a given range of possibilities particular for one person and not another. I don't know everything that makes me me- that makes me say these things are possible for me but these others are not.

I'm sorry- I mean I know that God knit me together in my mother's womb and that I am fearfully and wonderfully made and that's what dictates the range of possibilities. I mean I don't know beyond that.

Anyway, I wonder what he really does see when he looks in the mirror. Is he really the cowboy, or is he someone that feels compelled to play the cowboy? Stories of rebellion against his upbringing and environment abound. Cowboy may be a continuation of that. It may also simply be the role that sells to his base so he has to play it. Whatever the case it's a performance isn't it? Not necessarily fake- but a performance nonetheless. It is the role he has to play: cowboy... or perhaps better: gangsta' cowboy (gangsta' in the way suburban kids listening to 50 Cent are gangsta'). There is a limited range of possibilities for him in that role; we've seen them. Maybe it's still helpful to describe it in Hughesian terms. He didn't like the world as bad grown ups had laid it out for him- especially as their conspicuous absence or misguided attention relinquished any claims they had on who he would be. So he began destroying stuff- starting with the part he thought he was expected to play. And then, in case the mean adults didn't quite understand that he was toppling their built up and imposed expectations, he started destroying the things they valued: a Ferrari, Suburban Chicago Mansions, dad's political campaign, Iraq. And, at first, it seems kinda' cool- like Gary is taking a principled stand, or Ferris is really helping his friend out, but then it dawns on you- they're really just narcissisistic buttholes.

Oh by the way- when I say we play roles or understand ourselves within a given community or culture, I don't mean we need to be 2-dimensional types- though some may choose to be. And still, the act of choosing to play those roles says something about who we are. That it is an acceptable option within a group also says something about that group. I think I mean something like that.

So a small percentage still has faith. I guess those are the kind of people you want on your side. Unless of course, MY PRESIDENT has been trying to turn everyone against him with the whole gangsta' cowboy bit and you- you 28 Percenters- are just making MY PRESDIENT do crazier and crazier things. Which, now that I type that, is probably very appropriate. It's probably, much like the Evangelical support of Israeli militarism and apartheid; it's just another calculated move to lure Jesus back.

I Have a Bag of the Organic Lomas al Rio- If You Have The Means, I Highly Recommend Picking One Up
Steal My Body Home- Beck
My Dad Sucks- The Descendents
Many Rivers to Cross- Jimmy Cliff
PLanet of Sound- Pixies
The Right Profile- The Clash
Hip Hop- Dead Prez
La Cucaracha- MFM
Folsom Prison Blues- Johnny Cash
St. Louis Blues- Louis Prima
Rocker- Miles Davis
Two Reelers- Frank Black
Clint Eastwood- Gorillaz
Boogie Shoes- KC and the Sunshine Band
Crown of Love- The Arcade Fire
Don't Change Your Plans- Ben Folds Five
All My Life- Foo Fighters
Jesus Was Right- Frank Black
Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds- The Beatles
Wave of Mutilation- Pixies
Let's Go Away For A While- The Beach Boys
Reelin' In The Years- Steely Dan

Hey Hippie, We're Totally Spreading the American Style of Government?

Trading individual liberties for a false sense of security. An executive that has given himself the authority of a tyrant. Randomly eavesdropping on the public to protect national security. Attributing domestic problems to some nebulous foreigner.

Oh those silly other people, when will they learn?

You know, white people in America are very concsious of racism... in other countries. At least some recent research suggests that white Americans can be very sympathetic and critical when analyzing racist and oppressive tendencies around the world but cannot apply the same template to America. According to the research they can even critically theorize about abstract and hypothetical situations, but when it comes to looking at domestic conditions it seems "we" largely imagine racism ended when Rosie Parkes became the first black bus driver or something like that. Other countries are backwards, undemocratic, oppressive, and racist. America suffers from too many lazy colored folks (even if those colored folks are, at one time or another in history, white- I'm thinking of those dirty papists that ruined America in previous centuries).

If you're too not white, I mean lazy, to check the link above, it's about Zimbabwe and their great leader's decisions. It's easy for us to see them as horribly backwards and too willing to submit to an over-reaching authority. It's probably because of their tradition of tribalism, a strong chief, or some other inherent, insurmountable condition (they're African). We could never fall victim to that because of our rich Western European- specifically English- heritage that deeply values freedom and distrusts consolidated power. Well you could never fall for that. I come from a Spanish and Latin American background- neither of which values the great Western tradition of political freedom. Unfair elections, militarism, selling public resources to the highest bidder, religious fanaticism- that's all I bring to the table. I'm sorry- but thank you, WHITE AMERICA (but I repeat myself) for keeping America scandal and oppression free and making it a shining example of freedom- so unlike the rest of the world- especially that horrible Zimbabwe.

Am I right or am I right?

Anyway, that tendency to not see what's going on in our own living rooms might mean something here. They're racist, I'm just honest. They lie and cheat, I'm just doing what I have to protect my interests. Something like that.

You Think You've Got Problems (No Question Mark)

When The Qweenbean and I divorce- Did I say, "when?" I mean if... If The Qweenbean and I ever divorce it will be because she has set two of the car radio buttons to Jesus stations. We don't have "her car" and "my car." We have "the car" and "the truck;" both used for their purpose by whomever has need. We both drive both vehicles pretty equally, so it seems neither of us should dominate the presets. Maybe one Jesus station I could tolerate. But two stations? And Star 98.7? To the exclusion of Indie and KPFK? Unacceptable.

All this is to qualify why I heard anything on the Jesus station- I think I need to assure you that I am still sufficiently jaded and detached... I suppose I could have said I was ironically listening to the Jesus station...

In any case, this morning I heard a spot for some car giveaway contest they have. At one time in churchy history, contests and raffle type events were malus in se- but apparently, just as a clearly evil song by the Cure or U2 can be sanctified and qualify for a Dove award when performed by some Tooth and Nail product (even without changing the lyrics or arrangement ), so can a game of chance be redeemed by its issuance. This radio station is holding a giveaway for givers. You nominate someone you think is worthy- someone who demonstrates what it means to be a giver, and somehow a winner is selected to receive two cars- one to keep and one to give away. I'm not sure if it's by voting or the abject appeal of the nominee, but I was lucky enough to hear one recorded nomination. I forget the name, but boy, was she a Christian hero: she suffered from multiple debilitating conditions that made getting about without a scooter difficult, she was in a great deal of physical pain, and she lost her home so rents a room from a friend. She suffers. That's why she's a giver.

Somebody misunderstands what it means to be a giver. I admit I am not the best Christian, so I may not understand what Christians mean when they say someone is a giver. Or maybe, the radio station plays a recording for every nominee, so this one nominator misunderstands what it means to be a giver. Or maybe the radio station misunderstands what it means to be a giver. I don't know for sure. For some reason, when asked to nominate a giver who deserves a car, so it seems at least two people, the nominator and the one who decided to put it on the air- thought suffering or misery made one a giver therefore a suitable contestant. Dumb. It seems to fit, though, with this greater phenomenon that I have encountered in my dance along the edges of Evangelical culture. Christians love a sad sack.

Many years ago, The Qweenbeen and I knew a girl that was quite a celebrity in our social circles. She had cancer. This opened all kinds of doors for her, she was made the central feature at someone else's wedding (the entire ceremony was oriented about how long and where she could stand), she was a marquee speaker at a Christian camp "decision night" (for those of you that don't know- "decision night" is the moment at the end of a long week of social coercion, little sleep, physical exertion, protein deprivation, and dehydration wherein children are asked if they want to be like the leaders around them and accept Jesus.). She shared how her family rejected her because they didn't want a kid with cancer, how she suffered but God kept her alive well past the point doctors said she should be dead, how she experienced miraculous healing of tumors, and if she could go through so much and believe what was stopping anyone else. I don't remember the details but she said she had some type of cancer that was definitely going to do her in. Soon. All of this suffering brought out so much good in people. People opened their homes, prayed over her, took her to the doctor, defended her against jerks like me who said, "I thought chemo was supposed to make you lose weight." And because of all of this goodness in the face of suffering, wonder of wonder, miracle of miracles God took a tailor by the hand- I mean this little lady is still alive, and last I heard, sharing her cancer experiences with another group.

When I once asked why she wasn't dead yet, after years and years of what was supposed to be a very aggressive terminal cancer, I got the same type of looks I would get when I naively suggested that there seems to be a different order of creation in each of the Genesis accounts (don't worry, it was well before I was really a Christian- now I know how to read), or the same look one might still get today if they prayed for enemies in a way that didn't imply we want it to be easier for THE TROOPS to kill them.

I wish I could say I was prescient or had so much insight into the human psyche that I saw her game- but really, I'm just a jerk. Turns out, she was a faker. A pretty good faker. She was shaving her head, marking up her body for her radiation treatment, injecting herself with saline, walking around with an IV, researching what her symptoms should be, collapsing, getting cold, etc... She seemed to be going through the things someone with cancer would be going through- except, the people that I know who have really had cancer didn't do any of the things at which she became a virtuoso. Now that I mention it, the people I know who really have had cancer, especially the ones who died, were very different from this girl. Different enough to be described as almost exactly opposite. They seemed to lack the desperation and desire for notoriety. Their private suffering, humor, dignity, moments of anger, resignation, and general effort to get on with life were as different from her aggressive pathos as genuine conversation is from movie dialogue. But plenty of people were looking for someone to play a part- someone to say, "I'm an alcoholic, Kyle... an alcoholic."

Sad that life in Christ is ostensibly supposed to be waking life, real life, but we so often choose slumber or to trip through existence playing prescribed roles. Sadder that we so often choose the pathetic roles we do. It seems like we know our hearts of stone need be replaced, but we choose plastic over flesh.

Lame.

I'm a Proverbs 31:7 Husband

"P31 dolls are specifically designed to provide a Bible-based, Christian alternative to other secular toys on the market, and to encourage young girls to pursue biblical womanhood. Elisabeth stands 18 inches tall, has beautiful blue eyes, long blonde hair, and a contemporary outfit. Elisabeth comes with an accessory kit, containing a Bible lesson (based on Proverbs 31:20), two cookie-cutters, a cookie recipe, and a list of exciting activities."

Now that I know something like this is available, I no longer worry about daughters being raised by dads with Skin Industries shirts or mothers with those stupid stripper posed angel and devil window decals. Now all I have to worry about is the little girls who play with these dolls growing up to marry closeted homosexuals and getting a divorce after they've produced another generation of marriage-loving Christians.

But hey- there's at least one thing off of my list to pray about.

I'm guessing P 31 stands for Proverbs 31- as in girls should be raised to be like the woman described in Proverbs 31. I guess that because the doll comes with a Bible lesson based on Proverbs 31:20. Who knows what I'd be willing to give for a copy of that lesson?

Just to mention it in passing, is the blanched pallor of death skin tone really fitting for a girl who's supposed to be out planting vineyards?

An Open Letter, Ostensibly Addressed to The Guy In Red Robin Wearing a Skin Industries Shirt While Holding a Three or Four Year Old Girl, But Possibly- Obliquely Addressed to God

If you've given it any thought at all, I bet you imagine that your daughter is too young to think anything of the Skin Industries logo on your t-shirt. It's entirely possible that it goes unnoticed by her. She may not be able to articulate what the image is, let alone what it might mean. She may eventually have no conscious memory of this shirt, but as it's been said about things like this, "All in all, it's just another brick in the wall." Someday, just like you, she might think strippers are cool. Or maybe she'll just smother herself in the hyper-sexualized caricature of "woman" that you've made the wallpaper of her life. This is how we create the things we do without thinking. This is how we create people who internalize and gladly participate in their own destruction.
But then again, I don't- I can't have any children so I'm probably talking out my butt.

Everyday It's Something Hits Me Oh So Cold

Only one post since July 1st? Really!? What else could I have been doing that mattered more than this? I hope I've at least been watching a lot of TV.

Nothing Bad Ever Happens To Me

Hola, amigos, I know it's been a while since I rapped at you but I've been trying to mellow out.* I've been trying to mellow out in a couple of ways. As avid readers may remember, I have been troubled by developments in our Yearly Meeting cum Annual Conference- specifically, by the content of the tellingly not infamous Who We Are pamphlet- and generally, by the communal context that overlooks, let alone, embraces it. I am troubled because it represents a shallowness of hope and thought and because it suggests that I'm a creep. I'm a weirdo. What the hell am I doing here? I don't belong here.

It's probably not necessary to go into what is WRONG with the pamphlet... Do I mean that? WRONG? I do- though not in a sense that someone is saying red is green. Nor is it a case of someone saying strawberry is the best flavor for ice cream. I mean I cannot find my place in it now and if it truly represents who we want to be then I cannot share that goal. It's WRONG in that sense.

But I've already said that. What I haven't said, or haven't explained, is that I am trying to mellow out. I've been asking myself why I care. I don't mean that in a nihilistic, it's all vanity way. I mean, what is it about this that makes me care? The best I've been able to get at is how do I care. Since I am concerned, how should I approach the issue? I shared these thoughts at our last Ministry and Counsel meeting (I think we're still allowed to call it that in our Annual Conference). They are helpful questions- queries- for me to always bear in mind for any type of congregational business. That's nice. Anytime I get at this issue, though, I am discouraged; when I confront myself at the heart of this concern, "Why do I care?" becomes, "Why should I care?" If it is not something that other people are concerned with, why should I bother? I don't mean this to suggest I should be apathetic. I mean, if this is what this community is about- how do I have a place in it? I've showed up to play football at a baseball field. How much sense does it make to suggest everyone else is wrong for wanting to play baseball- especially if others elsewhere are playing football, and should I join them, I could be made a better football player? I use the sports analogies because apparently that's what effective leaders do now.

The Blonde Buddha says I need to exhaust that line of thought. (Blonde Buddha is a much better interblog disguise than a lengthy palindrome.)

Maybe.

It also seems, when I ask "Why do I care?" that this becomes to me like a fight over paint color. It is easy to discuss why one shade is better than an other and feel like something is accomplished when we finally decide on a color but it's not the heart of who we are. It is not meaningless- we probably invest a great deal of meaning in colors, design, accessories, and structure. That's fine- we maybe should do that at some point. However, we will go on doing the things that we do- we will go on doing the things that really say, "This is who we are," no matter what colors the walls are. The color might say "This is who we want to be," but that it is something we can see as possibly contentious or meaningful is more revealing about who we are than the color we ultimately choose in the hope that it says, "We are a purple people- a people that values and strives to be purple." Purple might mean something- and be a thing to discuss and get just right in a certain context, but while we're talking about what it means to be purple and making sure we understand its implications it becomes for us more than a discussion; it becomes our meaning. Don't get me wrong- I believe it is important that what we can say is said clearly and if we are going to say this is "Who We Are" and want to be, we should be clear and thoughtful in it. But saying anything is just another thing we do. What we choose to think we could or should say about anything can say more about who we are than the words we think say anything. Some of it is embarrassing. Or less sympathetically, and perhaps more clearly, is this the equivalent of frat boys arguing the merits of Natural Light over Keystone? Once we're at that point we're finished, right? I feel that if I engage in this discussion I am losing a part of me- a part that feels that following Christ has to mean something more and be deeper than an appreciation for cheap beer. Maybe that window is closed.

It seems that a good number of the conversations that need to take place, or that I think should take place in our Annual Conference already happened in our Yearly Meeting... fifty years ago. The choices that led to the debate over Natural Light versus Keystone have already been made. Long ago, those who looked to "the young Negro students of our country"** as an example rather than a threat went someplace else. I wonder if a long time ago some made the decision to march on Washington while others stayed home. The ones who stayed home started running the shop and now I'm looking for something they don't sell. It's pretty foolish of me to ask for an egg if all they sell are scorpions.

So what is the energy for? Who does it help? Mellow out indeed.

And All The Terrible Things Happen Down The Road To Someone Else That I Don't Know
All Day and All of the Night- The Kinks
War Within a Breath- Rage Against the Machine
Martha My Dear- The Beatles
Little Ghost- The White Stripes
Come Into My Life-Jimmy Cliff
New Killer Star- David Bowie
Search And Destroy- The Stooges
Misery- Howlin' Wolf
Body Movin' The Beastie Boys
Laird Baird- Charlie Parker
Get It Together- The Beastie Boys
Narcolepsy- Ben Folds Five
Louder Than a Bomb- Public Enemy
Doll Parts- Hole
Tiffany Hall- The Coup
I Think I Smell A Rat- The White Stripes
Oh Lately It's Oh So Quiet- OK Go
Electro-Shock Blues- Eels
Another Tape Demo- Quasimoto


*If anyone other than The Blonde Buddha or The Loveshark valued my interweb games there would be a fabulous prize for anyone who identified the allusion in the title or the first line. But no one else does, so there will be no Village People albums for anyone.
**A real quote from 1960 YM.

My Neighbors Keep Setting Off Explosives (Fireworks) In Their Backyard. It Makes My Dogs Bark

I don't know if you heard this or not- last week some English speaking people were inconvenienced by a couple of... well not car bombs exactly... Car devices. Some English speaking people were inconvenienced by car devices. It was all over the news. If you missed it check the links. I wouldn't recommend you search "London Car Bombs." You'd probably get a bunch of information on the IRA and other stuff you'd have to dismiss as crazy. I mean, white people- well, Irish people- as terrorists? That's absurd. But these almost events were all the rage on the 24 Hour news channels, newspapers, and the internets.

Really... you hadn't heard?

Well, in London, quick thinking paramedics identified a device that was releasing some horribly unpleasant odors and smoke. Police immediately responded and this led to the discovery of another device that might have caused some serious temporary ear ringing if it had worked like a bomb rather than a smoke machine. Phew.

Elsewhere, Glasgow specifically, a car was set on fire and crashed into a building by someone that wasn't necessarily a drunken soccer fan.

These may seem like near misses or part of the Global War On A Concept to you, but I don't think this was terrorism. It all needs to be put into context. England just enacted a rather stringent smoking ban. Seriously. Doesn't it make more sense that these people were protesting the smoking ban rather than to accept that we're fighting "them" over here- albeit a "here" across the Atlantic?

Whatever the reasons, it sure was scary. I saw live footage of club employees being evacuated from work. They were so strong in their hounds tooth pants and cooking jackets- waving at the cameras from behind the news correspondents- bravely talking and laughing with each other.

Heroes really...

Oh and some more people were killed in Iraq or something.

I See Your Chair Has Four Legs, That Reminds Me of The Four Spiritual Laws...

I have a problem doing the Jesus hard-sell. I understand that for some this is the heart of what it means to be a Christian and because I'm not compelled to ask strangers what they think will happen to them when they die, I can't be a real Christian. This is a good as place as any to stop reading if that's the case.

I've tried it a couple of times, the "Can I interest you in some Jesus..." Rather, I've been a type of support person when others have done it. Like I said, I understand why someone would say this is the central piece of their faith- but it isn't for me. I guess that's that post-modern monster Relativor rearing its ugly head and that may be all you need to know what's wrong with me. (Actually, doesn't Relativor sound like a medication?) I get why some would feel that this is what they have to do- and they wouldn't characterize it as selling Jesus- but even as I understand it- "The Ask" never seems real to me and it's something I can't do.

I enjoy conversations of varying depth about things of faith and religion with people I know, but rarely... never... I can't recall. I'll say never -never have I pitched a lead, "led" them in "The Sinners Prayer," then rung a bell for my commission.

In any of those conversations, I've never finished with a, "So what's it gonna take to get you into a church today?" And I don't see myself doing it in the future.

I don't go for the soft sell either though.

The Onion AV Club blog has a brief entry today about Zune viral marketing parties. Someone... someones are paid by Microsoft to throw parties where a Zune is artfully but prominently featured as a necessity to the hipster's existence. Well, okay, not always artfully- but definitely prominently mentioned. It's supposed to make you want one.

So some schlup in a blue polo shirt at Best Buy tells you how much you might enjoy a Zune. You don't believe him- he's some schlup in a blue polo shirt at Best Buy. That won't do at all.

So you see a Zune ad where young good-looking people clearly enjoy life because of their Zunes. You feel good seeing that but you're smart so you say to yourself, "Oh that's just a commercial, it's totally constructed to get you to associate a Zune with good times and good looking people. A Zune might be cool- but the commercial is fake."

Then in real life, you're walking through a hall in your building and some guy you've seen a couple times invites you and your friends to a party where they'll be casually hanging out and listening to tunes on the Zune. It's weird that he mentions the Zune- but whatever, you're social, you go. And this regular person is living it. This regular person is popular, they give you booze- or whatever it is you like, they have lots of friends, good times surround them- and they want you to have a part in that good life. It's authentic. This Zune life is real. They say you can have a Zune and enjoy life as much as they do. Well maybe not you specifically- or you at all- your friend you brought with you will do just as well. And if not them, then the next person to walk through that door. Or some other person, some other day.

You don't matter as much as spreading Zune does. Well, who you are doesn't matter- so you can't afford it, or you don't really listen to music, or you find Microsoft's business practices troubling, or you think a world with everyone running around isolated by headphones is disturbing- whatever, this is Zune, and it's Zune that matters, not your petty concerns and causes or your distorted ideas about Microsoft's success and dominance.

Besides, in a way, by wanting you to have Zune, or at least presenting you the opportunity to receive Zune, you kind of matter- well, not you per se- but the you that you could be if you accepted Zune- the you that Zune exists for. Your neighbor ultimately cares about Zune. But Zune is so great; this thing you can carry around with you and show off, this thing that indicates a good life and good feelings, this thing that shows you've come around to a certain way of being- the Zune way of being- it's kind of like caring about you by sharing Zune with you. It's like an abstract, non-existent, incidental you kind of matters. It's like caring about the idea of you.

Should I belabor the connection I see with certain types of evangelism?

Third Prize Is You're Fired
Girl You Have No Faith In Medicine- The White Stripes
One Way Ticket to Pluto- Dead Kennedys
I Know There's an Answer- The Beach Boys
Liar- Sex Pistols
Rouge- Miles Davis
Unheard Music- X
Many Rivers to Cross- Jimmy Cliff
Broken Face- The Pixies
Fiddle About- The Who
I Don't Really Love You Anymore- The Magnetic Fields
Underture- The Who
Changes- Jimi Hendrix
Hell Is Chrome- Wilco
American Idiot- Green Day
High- Tripping Daisy
Rikki Don't Lose That Number- Steely Dan
Miracle Drug- U2
Wind Chimes- Brian Wilson
Spunky- The Eels
I'm The One- Descendents
I'm Having a Heart Attack- They Might Be Giants

Gay Bomb

"A Berkeley watchdog organization that tracks military spending said it uncovered a strange U.S. military proposal to create a hormone bomb that could purportedly turn enemy soldiers into homosexuals and make them more interested in sex than fighting."

CBS News

It turns out the Pentagon is run by Jr. Highers.

This explains the new uniforms made of rubber- unfortunately we couldn't get our enemies to wear suits of glue...

Or maybe the strange obsession with a caricaturized homosexuality explains the suits of rubber.

...

I hadn't realized it was a challenge to get soldiers interested in sex. In fact,* certain strains of chlamydia are so evolved/intelligently designed that they hover in clouds over military barracks.

*By "In fact," I mean "as a joke."

...

How's this add anything?

I thought that fighting was often a surrogate for sex. A twisted, sad, disturbing, and destructive surrogate- but surrogate nonetheless. So how does making soldiers more interested in sex take them away from fighting? Never mind the history of phallic weaponry, enhancing codpieces, etc..., just watch how intensely homo-erotic Ultimate Fighting is.

BOOSH-Y BOOSH-Y

You know how some people say- "America, love it or leave it" or "If it's so horrible here in America, why don't you go live in [someplace else]?," or "Good grief, there was a whole pie here when I left- did you eat the whole thing?"? Well I have a response for some of that. First of all, I like pie and if I eat it all, but burn the whole thing off- what's the problem? Secondly, it seems that someplace else might turn out to be a country full of 28%ers. What would I do in a place like that?

Albania for example-

"It was a unique day in the recent history of the Bush presidency: The U.S. leader, whose stops in Italy and Germany earlier on this trip prompted massive demonstrations against him and the Iraq war, could not suppress a satisfied smile as Albanian Prime Minister Sali Berisha called him 'the greatest and most distinguished guest we have ever had in all times.'"

LA Times

That's impressive because if I understand Albanian history correctly, that's where General Zod is from, as are Mother Teresa and the cruddy soft metal band Toxin. But I guess native Albanians aren't really guests- great or otherwise.

Their reaction is interesting to me. For one, I often wondered what the former President Bush will do... I'm going to write that again, former President Bush... I didn't see him building houses for Habitat for Humanity or writing books or fighting the global spread of AIDS or raising money for disaster victims... one more time, former President Bush.... Anyway he certainly wouldn't need to clear brush again, well at least he wouldn't need to have his picture taken clearing brush. I guess I imagined he would just sit on the Boards of Directors of multiple oil companies and spend his retirement splitting time between his villa in Texas and various palaces throughout the Middle East- taking leisurely strolls, hand in hand with various Saudi royals. But with this reception in Albania I see the possibility of W, the elder statesman, promoting the word democracy to infant nation states. That's something.

But that's something only slightly here or there. What is more interesting to me is this response. It's impressive considering what the rest of Europe, most Americans and a former president think of MY PRESIDENT. Albanians were largely responding to MY PRESIDENT'S support of Kosovar independence from Serbia- blah blah blah. It's a type of democracy he is pushing- a majority of people in some given locale have a particular opinion- so he says that's the way things should be. At least it is for Kosovo, and they like that. It appeals to their priorities and loyalties- it is for them, the way things are and should be. And that's the way things are.

It's nice to pretend that there is some detached, purely rational, objective way of saying how things ought to be or what we ought to do... but there isn't. There is a more detached, rational, and objective way of saying how things are, but not how they ought to be.

For the Albanians, the way things ought to be is a melange of culture, priorities, norms, mores, education, manners, habits, loyalties, accepted history and on... I'm not picking on Albanians. That's the way we all say things ought to be. A whole bunch of subjectivity is piled up and we say- "This is what ought to be done."

Now somewhere down the line, one might object to this and say something like, "Then this makes everything a matter of opinion- eating babies is a matter of chocolate is better than vanilla." I would say that's silly. Is eating babies really an option for you? You can call it a natural revulsion, a cultural norm, a matter of public sanction- but I doubt that eating human babies is an actual (not hypothetical) option for you. This isn't to say that someone, somewhere, at some time has never had that option. I just doubt it for you. And should some reader eat babies, they likely do it in secret, worried about being caught- unless they're crazy. In which case we know they're crazy because they don't worry about being caught eating human babies. But suppose there is some we somewhere that eats human babies. There is no way for them to know that eating babies is something that someone will call wrong unless there is some actual alternative we that says, "Hey, we think eating babies is horrrible- we say, 'Don't do that.'" There is nothing objectively in the baby that says, "Do not eat." Additionally I would say, not everything is a matter of opinion- just some things- specifically those things that matter to our selves for existence. And then I might ask, "Who told you to hold opinion in such low esteem?"

What we say one ought to do is a matter of opinion and it is often something we don't even say but know as what we ought to do because of who we say we are.

That "we" is very important. Who we say we are is an ongoing, webby, unsettled negotiation. Some are concerned that torture, invading other countries, overthrowing foreign governments, secretly arresting people and holding them without trial or evidence, hyper-nationalism, xenophobia, blah, blah, blah are a part of who we are. It is not compatible with what they say we should be. Others find it a necessary and good thing to preserve some conception of we. Those groups of we are are incommensurate and we will have to find some way to negotiate who we are through that. That's a lot of work, and when there's TV to be watched... well what can you do?

More locally, that seems to be the situation facing our erstwhile Yearly Meeting. If it's simply a matter of majority rule or volume, I'm out. Those who imagine following Christ is a matter of building bigger and more church buildings are more. Those who say Christianity is a matter of assent to a stated creed are legion. It may be that the we that is troubled by particular phenomena has no place in this body. It may be that what it means to be a Friend in southern California (and points nearby) is what it means to be a Nazarene or Calvary Chaplain and my discomfort means I need to find someplace else because I can't be a part of that we. I think there needs to be an ongoing discussion of who we are- but I feel very much right now like a baby eater. This particular body of we does not seem to correspond to what I can say. And if I cannot find something that corresponds to that- I don't belong here. It would be dishonest and wrong for me to continue.

Being a Quaker is neither a matter of novelty nor embarrassment for me. It is about reflecting deeply on what it means to know God myself and in community. It's about reflecting the presence of a totally transcendent God in the Body of Christ. It's about examining and affecting our contexts of understanding so that we don't confuse the practices of our faith with its object. In this context, I find myself caring less and less about what it means to be a Christian and only concerned with what it means to know God in Jesus Christ.

But we're an Annual Conference. We're less and less interested in corporeal life. We're pretending we can say the most important things about God in words. Those things that make sense to me, that have historically been central to Quaker life and thought are dismissed or supressed. I don't know how I can be a part of that we. I don't know how to be a part of any discussion of what that we can be- especially when there is TV to be watched.

Who Do You Say That I Am and All That...
Canned Heat- Jamiroquai
Landslide- Fleetwood Mac
Soul Love- David Bowie
Chorus of the Hebrew Slaves- Verdi
The Heat's On- Dizzy Gillespie
Bastards of Young- The Replacements
Psycho Killer- Talking Heads
Wishful Thinking- Wilco
I'm A Wheel- Wilco
Closedown- The Cure
East of the Sun- Sarah Vaughan
Static- Beck
Analyse- Thom Yorke
Sally Simpson- The Who
I'm Waiting for the Day- The Beach Boys
Bab's Uvula Who?- Green Day

I Wanna Know What Love Is...

I want you to show me.

I'm having a lot of trouble these days with a document our Yearly Meeting [sick (sic)] printed that pretends to explain Who We Are (you can download it at the EFCSW website- it's the first menu item in the upper right).

Firstly, we don't have a Yearly Meeting, we have an Annual Conference. That's right. For those of you reading this far from me and familiar with Friends- here in Southern California and some points nearby, we are no longer a Yearly Meeting. We are an Annual Conference. Do you find that laughable or does it burn in your throat like bile? I want to scream from my humanity, "That's bullshit!" From elsewhere, I feel sympathy and sorrow for those who are so lost and spiritually frustrated that they think a handful of name changes and new buildings will finally satisfy them. And then, maybe, meta-me says, "That's kind of condescending, jerk."

Secondly it wasn't put out by the Annual Conference as a whole, that is, it was written by an individual but given an EFCSW imprimatur.

Thirdly, only a handful of folks find its origin and existence troubling so caring about it at all is probably a sad lesson in wheel spinning.

Fourthly, it's a statement of faith and values and, as such, falls victim to the many problems associated with written statements of faith and values that Friends have historically had the good sense to avoid (I mean Big Picture history- not recent history).

Fifthly, it seems to have been produced in a way that belies the broadly Christian tradition of creeds as collective statements and the specifically Friendly practice of cooperatively doing ecclesial business.

I guess my fifth concern is just a restatement of my second concern... Is it? No, my second concern is that it claims to speak for a body when it, at best, speaks for a handful while my fifth concern is more about this act suggesting a primus inter pares.

Sixthly, it's bad- I guess that's assumed by 1 through 5.

I really appreciate the historic Friends practice of not trying to put God wholly into words. Friends have said and do say things about God. That's not a problem itself. Imagining that saying something about God says anything about God is the problem. I mean we must do more than just say something- and Friends seem to have known that. What accompanies those words seems to be a sense that our words are just that- or my words are just that- my words. I use them and they mean something but the sense is not fixed in the word. The actions that go with the word not only reveal what I mean but enrich the meaning that it can have.

Por ejemplo, The Qweenbean and I always say, "I love you," but if we were separately asked what that word means we would give similar but different definitions. That doesn't mean we don't know what love is, it means love is something that is not fixed and clear but is revealed in actions that we say correspond to love. It makes sense to do certain things and not do others in light of love. If I say I love The Qweenbean and then punch her in the back of the head that doesn't make sense. We also say we love other people. I say I love Clutching is Hugging, Sergeant Jesus, and others and what we mean by love is revealed in how we live with those others. It means more than what it just means to me and The Qweenbean and those relations and the acts in those relations reveal and deepen its meaning. I think marriage is like that too. We have a sense of what marriage is before we enter into it, but as we go on in marriage we have a richer sense of what it means- especially as we come to points where it transcends what we thought it could or did mean. If I stood alone and said, "This is what love means," or "This is what marriage means," apart from what I see love and marriage mean in the communitarian acts of love and marriage, I would be an idiot. I may be an idiot regardless- but I can be an idiot that has a better sense of love and marriage only in working at love and marriage in a context where I understand love and marriage.

So similarly, if there is some such we are calling God- it doesn't seem necessary to say creator and sustainer... wait I mean Creator, Sustainer, etc... That's what God would be by being God so a lot of that nonsense can just be passed over. But also, by being God- it would be something that is transcendent and beyond the world. It would be set apart, set apart, set apart. That's one thing to always bear in mind. But then we go to loving, compassionate, and such. That's stuff we know in our existence- we simultaneously see that God is set apart, and existentially know God in heaven and earth, almost like they are filled with God's glory. But all that has to be understood via acts. We can say something like God is love because a book says so, but like the idiot standing alone saying, "This is what marriage is," without an existence that relates to it, it makes as much sense as hudda zeeta baa daa waaahh. The words aren't meaningless- they mean something, but they might be senseless to us- we need to see more done to know what their sense might be.

It's silly to just say, "We believe in the one holy and loving God, who exists eternally in three persons- Father, Son, and Holy Spirit," without recognizing that saying it is a practice in relation to a bunch of other practices that clarify that. We, unfortunately, as an Annual Conference, are lacking practices that would make sense of this statement. To be fair, there is a section in this pamphlet that lays out a vision of what people who believe these things might be like. But it seems like this vision could be fulfilled by people who believe in the Rotary Club, or the Boy Scout's motto, or a chamber of commerce mission, more easily than those who believe the wholly transcendent God was revealed to us in the person Jesus and we now are his body. Our practices seem to betray a faith in a God that desires people know how to say the right things and infect other people across the globe with the ability to say the right things.

So I find traditional statements of faith generally problematic- especially if they are meant to gloss over a whole slew of disparate, non-corresponding practices.

But wait! There's more!

This document/pamphlet represents more belief. Not in what it says- the words in it even as they are explained... or especially as they are poorly explained are largely senseless. I don't mean meaningless. Unity, Liberty, etc... have meanings, but as I explained above, the sense we find in them comes from how we live, or the things we practice that correspond to the words that we use to describe what we're doing. There is a huge gap between the sentiments expressed in the pamphlet and the actual practices of our churches and the leadership displayed recently. That's one thing, but the act of writing this document in what can charitably be described as a cut and paste fashion, sharing it with a handful of reviewers, and then giving it a corporate stamp without corporate consideration or approval and imagining that it can say anything substantial is itself a statement of belief. It says something about what we think God is, what we think is required of us, what belief is. It does say something about Who We Are- but not so much in its words as in the act of conceiving, creating, and propagating it. So this is some act that says something about who we are and what we think about God. It says we believe in this triune relational God that made us in his image, but here we are not being relational in the act of creating the document itself; here we are not being a body. We say we believe somehow Jesus lives in us but that our lives will go on much as they always have, indistinguishable from anyone else because it's what's inside that counts. We say we believe there is a distinction between the world and the kingdom of God but just like the world we build 14 million dollar sanctuaries to our lords.

...

We are told that this is just a pamphlet of thoughts, and not really a statement of faith or a "binding" document. But it is binding in that it represents a practice in action. It shows us to what we have already cleaved.

And practically, it does come before Faith and Practice on the EFCSW website... but maybe that's because the same people who edited the document for substantive and mechanical clarity think "W" before "O" followed by "P" is some type of alphabetical order.

That's my jerky way of saying it's poorly written. To wit: "visa versa" is not what you write when suggesting the elements of the proposition previously stated are now in reverse relation. If you mean that, you write "vice versa." You write visa versa if you don't know better. Not knowing better is fine- but hopefully you are in cahoots with others who do know better and they in turn help you to know better. There is a good deal in this document to suggest this type of progress and relation- not knowing becoming knowing through practice among knowers- is strange or scary. There is a whole lot of confidently stated not-knowing in this pamphlet. Confident not-knowing is fine in conversation or a lame online weblog diary journal. It's not so fine for a tri-color, glossy, multi-paged denominational statement. So add bad editing to the theological caca that it is.

Whatever...

This may be the only time I reference Foreigner so cherish it. I wonder what this does for my Aging Hipster status. Foreigner is uncool- so is that ironically cool? But then if it's cool doesn't that make it uncool- but just uncool not campy or subversively uncool? I don't know. I am wearing a black t-shirt and will be going to Skylight Books today, so maybe it is cool- or I'm cool- so my Foreigner reference is cool too. But then that's probably overstating my cool influence- or ability to make things cool- and then even thinking that I might be cool or anything I might do is cool makes me horribly uncool. But then maybe my being horribly uncool makes my entire life ironically cool. I don't know- I need someone to tell me if I am cool or not.

You May See There Is a Section Within The EFCSW Website For Latin Churches- They Mean Spanish Speaking. This Is The Kind of Thing That Happens When You Have No Sense of History or Context
Frank Black Catalogue

This Is Not a Pipe

Some of the things I think at various times of my life seem at once profound and yet so simple that I am reluctant to share them lest someone say, "Duh."

So I'm on the train today, pressed into a corner near a door and far enough at one end of the car that I have a view of most of the passengers and it occurs to me that all I see, well, what I call seeing is just rippling light. I don't see glasses and headphones and moustaches and shirts and skirts and skin and bags and belts and color- just waves moving in three dimensions that the globs of goo in my head convert to chemical reactions. Those things I see as blue, head, shirt, eyebrows, etc... are not merely observations but are assessments... I don't just mean I give names to sensory data- or agree that these are the names that we give, which is itself a wild thing. I mean seeing these people as people all around me on the train, and then the platform, and then the stairs, the sidewalk, street, etc.. is not in the seeing itself. That is, there is nothing in the physical seeing, in the sense, that says "people" and then tells me how to negotiate my way through everything. What I see all around me, is just rippling light. What I do is something else not based on any of that.

There is nothing in the flood of data that tells me what I ought to do. It seems, there is nothing in the assessments, or even the names, that is founded in the sensory data.

That's why Jordi, or even Daredevil could see...

Like I said- duh.

Playlista
Nature Boy- David Bowie
Everything Is Broken- Bob Dylan
Lover Man- SarahVaughan
Auf Asche- Franz Ferdinand
The 59th Street Bridge Song- Simon and Garfunkel
There Is A Light That Never Goes Out- The Smiths
I Wish- Stevie Wonder

The Swelling Has Gone Down

You know those folks here and there that ask you for money to support advocacy groups? You know, they lobby Congress and write legislation that helps out their pet causes and they want your money to help them do that? Oh no, I don't mean oil companies or Southern California Edison- you pretty much have to give them your money, and they use your money- well I guess it's their money- to let politicians" know what will make it easier for them to make more money. That's democracy- your representative knows what you want, not by what you say directly- but by where you spend your money. Clearly we want what's best for oil companies because we give them so much. Isn't that a convenient arrangement?

Anyway, I don't mean them. I am referring to those people you may see in public places that ask you to support this or that cause that's not funded via inelastic demand (think.... think back to high school economics... what is that?) You know, causes like human rights concerns, environmental issues, affordable housing- junk like that. That's the people I mean. I'm one of them. Specifically I'm one of them. (If you've developed link fatigue- I'll tell you, I'm working for an environmental advocacy group.)

That may seem an odd move for me to make, but two conversations I've had (in the two days I've been with them) I think may explain more than anything else I could say.

Coworkers were asking me the general introductory get-to-know-you type questions this morning and after I said a little bit about my background and schooling someone said, "So why are you doing this? I mean most people don't go from talking about Jesus to environmentalism?" I said that's exactly why I was doing it.

Later in the day another coworker was telling me about the creative ways people say "no." Various responses informed by premillennialism made the list. I wonder if he's ever encountered the Friends youth pastor that told me not to recycle so that we could run out of everything and make Jesus come back? It is a small world...

Pain Hurts

Not to say that it isn't brought about by poor judgment and choices, delusional self-conception, an inability to articulate or contextualize one's experience, no impulse control, etc... but the pain of adolescents is real. Often expressed as mopiness, cruelty, or histrionics, but real nonetheless.

What I often wondered though is wether it was exacerbated by bad music. Does teen poetry performed by complainy pop-stars do anything more than give a mopey temperament yet another thing to mope about?

I don't know. But I do know that, this morning, music is carrying the weight drugs can't.

Now that I write it... I think I already knew that.

I don't know why I'm not still in the hospital hooked up to a machine that is steadily delivering pain-killers... Oh wait, I do know why- I'm poor.

Yesterday, I traded this
for this.

It feels much worse than it looks.

Good Morning Opiates
The Smiths Library

Who Are These People?

It turns out, crocoduck is a very popular search item.

I mentioned it as I LIVE BLOGGED! the debate of the millennium. Kirk Cameron showed a picture of a crocoduck that disproved evolution and therefore scientifically proved that you have a creator and therefore scientifically proved the existence of God and therefore scientifically proved that you're a sinner therefore scientifically proving that you need Jesus. He would probably say that at some point he was joking. Though where I would locate the end of that joke is probably different from where Kirk would.

Remember, I grew up Catholic so had a whole different type of cuckoo to believe. Bread literally turned into flesh, wine literally turned into blood. (Even though all of my literal senses suggested they were still bread and wine.) The Baby Jesus couldn't have cried or caused his parents any of the grief that babies seem to cause. Stuff like that. Stuff that Evangelicals scoff at and poo poo as silly. Stuff that only a superstitious papist could believe- not like the scientifically provable idea of irreducible complexity that proves a design that therefore proves a creator that is God, or the perfectly tenable proposition that humans and dinosaurs played with each other. I'm a late comer to the culture that assumes scientists are atheists or that evolution is evil.

So- is Kirk Cameron... I'm sorry, now I mean KIRK CAMERON... is KIRK CAMERON really putting all of these things in a big pile and saying this is the way the world is? So that if you deny Christ, you're denying a fact? It's like trying to deny gravity? it's not like not understanding gravity- or being ignorant of why things fall, it's like trying to say things don't fall. Is that what this is about? Oh sure those crazy Romanists on one side with their voodoo don't make sense, and those mystics with their flighty ecstasy on the other are just nuts- but here we have a Christianity that's all facts and order.

I don't think we realize what's at stake with that. I mean, I know that what advocates of Intelligent Design, Creationism really, that's what these supposed critiques of evolutionary theory are all about, want to do is give religious and moral propositions some sort of factual certainty, but that's a really bad idea (the attempt is a bad idea- the project itself is impossible).

Just to be clear, Intelligent Design isn't science. Once you look at something you don't yet understand or can't figure out and say, "That's 'cos of God," you're not "doing" science. You can say it, you're just not saying it as a scientist- or if you're already not a scientist, you're not making a scientific proposition. But it's not theology either, well, it's not Christian theology. Maybe it's some sort if anthro-theistic positivism. It's hard to categorize because it doesn't make sense, even if we really, really, really want it to.

It seems it is little more than a desire to make faith not faith, to confuse what one can say is a fact with what we believe, to make God something like "the car is in the driveway or the car is not in the driveway," something that requires no devotion or relation, only observation and assent. That hardly sounds like the transcendent God only identifiable as I Am and known through various experiences, after which one says God is a shepherd, God is a provider, God is a healer, by which one means, "God has shepherded me," "God has provided for me," "God has healed me..." It certainly doesn't sound like knowing God through Jesus.

"What canst thou say?" (a Quaker thing) doesn't mean, "Are you on the same page as us?" It certainly doesn't mean "You know Adam and Eve rode dinosaurs and someday we're all going to fly naked through the sky, don't you?" It means what can you say?

Don't say what you can't say. And certainly don't, with your fingers crossed, try to build silly rhetorical structures that let you to pretend what is impossible for you to say is inevitable.

So maybe a crocoduck is the perfect symbol for this.

If I Die Tomorrow, Send the Qweenbeen Flowers
Submission- Sex Pistols
Clap Your Hands!- Clap Your Hands say Yeah
I Can't Win- The Strokes
Outlaw Blues- Bob Dylan
Misery- Green Day
Pictures of You- The Cure
Let's Go To Bed- The Cure
Give It Up Turn It Loose- James Brown
Nature Boy- David Bowie
Everything is Broken- Bob Dylan
Lover Man- Sarah Vaughan
Auf Achse- Franz Ferdinand
The 59th Street Bridge- Simon and Garfunkle

It Is Finished

Have you ever come across a book or poem that made you think, "This is what language is for."? Have you ever been acutely aware of your existence as measurably better than it had ever been or could ever be and realized everything else will pale in comparison? Have you ever been so drunk you were asking if anyone dared you to knock your own teeth out of your head with a flashlight? That's dumb. But I just discovered something that makes any other internetting superfluous. This is what anyone who has ever done anything on the globe spread web or put pen to paper has aspired to do. (You could learn a thing or to here, Oxfam and UNICEF- you with your uninspired text and images). "This" being McSweeney's Internet Tendency.
Let this be an example for you:

"PROS AND CONS OF THE TOP 20 REPUBLICAN
PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES

ZOMBIE RONALD REAGAN
Pro: Probably the most Reaganesque candidate available; if stoked with the brains of the living, should operate in an acceptable fashion.

Con: Long-dead eyes lack that magic twinkle; inhuman groans negatively impact "Great Communicator" status.

YOUR MAMA
Pro: Strong personality; nurturer; kind; strict when she has to be; always shows up at soccer games or school plays; skilled at managing a busy family.

Con: Upon her election, nation would be instantly vulnerable to any number of verbal attacks about president being so fat, so ugly, so stupid, etc.

CHUCK HAGEL
Pro: Could potentially deliver his home state of Nebraska to the Republicans.

Con: Risks losing votes of near-sighted supporters of Kierkegaard, Schopenhauer, Heidegger, and Nietzsche who think the ballot says "Hegel."

PROS AND CONS OF THE TOP 20 DEMOCRATIC
PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES.

BILL RICHARDSON
Pro: Appeals to all Latino voters with the last name "Richardson."

Con: New Mexico is legally part of Mexico; therefore, he's constitutionally ineligible.

JESUS CHRIST
Pro: Could draw some initial interest from the Christian right until they research his actual positions in a deeper way; likable; strong leadership qualities.

Con: Unkempt; pretty far left; messianic complex.

YOU
Pro: Gained valuable exposure as Time magazine's Person of the Year; seems to be Internet-savvy.

Con: Ever since the Time thing, you've been awfully smug.

You're It

Our church property got tagged sometime this week. Someone thought displaying their name and affection for pot belonged at church.

I guess.

I get that most people have a problem with tagging or guerilla and public art. I don't per se. I also don't put a lot of tagging into a category distinct from other forms of visual territory marking. I mean whether it's Chaka, Ronald McDonald, or Howard Schultz, they're trying to invade my visual field for similar reasons. It's tempting to label youth subculture behaviors as deviant or destructive or somehow savage and not on the same level as corporate propaganda or cultural iconography- it's tempting but dishonest. I'm not saying it might not be deviant (though it fits in with our cultural norm of plastering everything in sight with branded images), destructive (though the case can be made that a lot of graffiti art improves bleak public spaces), and savage (show me image advertising that isn't), but telling me that you've served billions of hamburgers at every turn is too. If I have to look at someone's propaganda, there are better and worse things to look at. Most public images are designed for a 50 mph toddler aesthetic. That is, they're made so a toddler could recognize it going by at 50 mph. The more insidious the brand, the more banal the image. Not much beauty or design there.

Anyway- that's just to say, I'm not opposed essentially to graffiti. That said...

420... on a church fence... that no one but people in the parking lot can see?

Lame.


ed.- I can't load images right now. Maybe I will later- I'm sure it would add so much to the post.

It's a Caricature Not a Choice

-Abortions for all
-Booooooo!
-Very well, no abortions for anyone
-Booooooo!
-Abortions for some, miniature American flags for others
-Hoorraaaayyyy

I suppose somewhere in the world there might be someone who thinks of abortion as akin to cleaning out your ears. I don't know them, but that doesn't mean that they don't exist. I also suppose somewhere there might be someone who thinks a woman considering or doctors performing abortions should be executed. Those are possible. But I would bet most people are somewhere else with their thoughts.

The people I know who have had abortions didn't think of it as a procedure like having their tonsils removed or clipping their toenails. I also don't think they needed somebody telling them what they did, or were considering was wrong. Well... I don't think what they needed me to do was tell them that they were wrong. (But clearly I'm a homo relativist hippy... what else... humanist- I don't know. What else are we calling the boogey men these days?). They also didn't seem to need a reminder that the decision they were making involved another being- person if you prefer. It was a difficult decision because of that. For some, I guess that's what puts that kind of decision out of bounds- or makes it something that can't be a decision. There is no choice to make, you're pregnant- you stay pregnant. Life is life. (Although I've often heard sex described as the choice that has been made and pregnancy as the consequence- sort of like being pregnant and raising a child are the punishment for making the choice to enjoy sex. That's what you get.) But for others it seems those are the factors that ultimately make it an issue of personal choice- it's the kind of decision that can only be personal, even if it's made with counsel, guidance, etc...

Whatever- what I wanted to get at was the use of fetal symbols to protest abortion. I don't know if you've ever seen this done, but some people have used little fetus symbols to protest abortion. It's often a picture or sculpture of a fetus or images of aborted fetuses that are used. In at least one case, someone got their hands on an actual fetus and used it as a tool of protest.

It seems to me that they have a couple of purposes. One might be to gross you out- to remind you that abortion is a gross thing- it's bloody and messy. Yuck! Because it's distasteful you shouldn't do it. Another reason, probably more likely, or if not more likely, at least better, is to remind people that fetuses are cute, and kind of like a person, so what you're thinking about doing should make you feel bad and guilty. (In case you didn't already.) But then, if you didn't, would a picture or small sculpture of a fetus make you feel bad and guilty? Probably. But so bad and guilty you would not have an abortion? I don't think it would. But I don't think that's the end of that.

If I were someone else I would have the perfect solution to that. I mean I have the perfect solution, and if I were someone else I would execute it. I would make A GIANT PROTEST FETUS COSTUME! Something bigger and cuter that can really get in someone's face. It could put its thumb in its mouth or play the guitar and dance around. It could wear t-shirts or oversized trucker hats with sentimental sayings on them.

Like I said, I would do this if I were someone else. As it is, I find it very offensive. Offensive- but I must admit, probably effective. Then people would see that life is life.

As it is, it's not so clear is it?

Anyway, I'm soon going to have a surgery to remove my tongue ugly. (It's gross and distasteful but I must have it done). I should be fine, but should things go not according to plan I want two things, actually three things- the first is that a clear DNR/DNAR order be honored, second that anyone who says "It was meant to be" or "God's teaching qweenbeen a lesson" or some such of that nature should be hit in the shin with an aluminum baseball bat, and third, I want my corpse to be freeze-dried, pulverized, and used as fertilizer- where will be left up to local codes but I think it would be funny to be sprinkled about the pumpkin patch and the in-law's backyard.

So that's that. DNR me. Is that clear?

Unless of course someone has the bright idea to make a giant pantomime skybalon- and they go around dancing and playing a steel drum to remind everyone that life is life. Even if its revived from cardiac or respiratory failure and has suffered serious brain damage and won't be able to complete its dissertation proposal or go back to teaching and growing pumpkins or playing with dogs or having sex with his wife or being snarky. Life is life.

Then we will have no choice- or you will have no choice. In that case, if I am in some sort of persistent vegetative state, feel free to dress me up in silly outfits or write the word "Balls" on my face. It's what I would've wanted.

Clever Appropriate Title
Hell Yes- Beck
Please, Please, Please...- The Smiths
Battle Royal- Duke Ellington
All Along the Watchtower- Bob Dylan
Big Time- Peter Gabriel
Jesus Walking on The Water- Violent Femmes
I Bleed- Pixies
The Skin of My Yellow Country Teeth- Clap Your Hands Say Yeah
World's a Mess; It's In My Kiss- X

Oh Right...

I forgot to mention another kind of racist.

The Dead Kind.

"The Rev. Jerry Falwell, the television evangelist who founded the Moral Majority and used it to mold the religious right into a political force, died today shortly after being found unconscious in his office at Liberty University. He was 73."

LA Times

The Grapes of Stupid

I don't know if it's due to a change in the season, something in the water, moon phase, magnetic fields, pollen, or what but some people I know are saying some very stupid things. We all say stupid things, but lately some of the stupid is of a specific flavor. It tastes like privilege with an undertone of guilt and a strong AM radio finish.

I know a good number of people who would not have anything to do with Rush Limbaugh if they knew him, but nevertheless listen to him.

I don't mean they just hear what he has to say on the radio. I mean they take what he has to say as the way to understand their world. I don't suppose it's necessary that we gain understanding or insight from people who are perfect. Actually, I guess I would say it's not possible that we listen to only the perfect- but I think we at least prefer the trying. Or we should.

But here we have someone utterly contemptible- well beyond the way most any of us are contemptible- who holds sway over so many that would prefer their gurus be virtuous or tell themselves they would find the way Rush Limbaugh actually lives to be offensive to their moral sensibilities.

It's ironic that so many people who would see themselves as preservers of purity and virtue look up to such a model of self-indulgence and cynicism. Well, it's ironic or calculated. Though I wouldn't describe many of the Limbauphiles I know as calculting. Earnest. Variously threatened. White.

Oh that's right. That's where I was headed. This is about race. This is about racism and the kind of racist you are. We are types of racists and in at least a couple of corners, I'm hearing nonsense that is almost word for word Rush (no, not that Rush) or clearly inspired by other AM monkeys.

I'm not suggesting Rush Limbaugh or the KFI morons make people some type of racist. But being a kind of racist makes some people want to listen to Rush Limbaugh and other KFI jerks.

A long time ago I said I would come up with some sort of field guide or quiz about what kind of racist you are. Well, I'm still not ambitious enough to do that, but recent events have added more types o' racists to my previous.

So without definitions, this is what I had before:
"Federline" racist
"Sleep With the Help" racist
"They're Just Good at It" racist
"Would You Want to Live Next to Them?" racist
"You Know- The Tall Guy With Curly Hair Wearing the Red Shirt Standing By the Door" racist
"She's Very Articulate" racist
"I'm Just Sayin' They Should Learn English" racist.

Those are pretty good, but hardly all inclusive (and shouldn't we be inclusive when talking about race?). I have added these:
The "Kick The Dog" racist-
AKA the "I Somehow Think Illegal Aliens Are Ruining My Way of Life So When Confronted With One of the Challenges of My Existence I Respond With, 'Arrrgh, Those Stinkin' Illegal Aliens...'" racist
The "I Can't Spell 'Surpereor,' But That's What I Am" racist
The "When I Say, 'Why Don't They Just Learn to Be American,' I Mean, 'Why Don't They Learn to Be Normal,' and When I Say, 'Normal,' I Mean, 'White'" racist
The "I've Never Really Thought About It, But Now That You Mention It, My Family and Life Are Worth More Than Yours So That Justifies the Neglect of Your Life and Family So That You Can Take Care of Mine" racist
The "I Can Say It If They Can" racist
The "I'm Uncomfortable With Labels of Ethnicity Because I Imbue Them With Value" racist
The "Laughing for the Wrong Reason" racist (that could be explained by a Venn diagram with Dave Chappelle is Funny/Satire on one side and Carlos Mencia is Funny/Stupid on the other. The overlap is this type of racist)
The "It's About Heritage, Not Racism" racist
The "I Like Everything But Rap" racist

So much racism. I guess at some point you just have to draw a line and say, "That's it." This is that line. I don't mean, "That's it, I can't take anymore racism." What am I going to do- become a hermit? I mean, "That's it, I have to stop writing this list because I could go on forever." There are probably as many types and hybrids of racism as there are people. We're all unique in our racism; isn't that very special?

Maybe at some point this summer I will actually come up with a quiz so you know what kind of racist you are. Or maybe at some point this summer, probably in August when it's 109 degrees and I'm short tempered and tired, I'll just tell you what kind of racist you are.

It's Cool, Some of My Best Friends Are Racists
Ten Years Gone- Led Zeppelin
New York- Sex Pistols
Blackbird- TheBeatles
Buckets of Rain- Bob Dylan
Prettiest Star- David Bowie
Roll Plymouth Rock- Brian Wilson
Find My Way- Soulfood 76
Give it Up Turn it Loose- James Brown
The Seeker- The Who
Pictures of You- The Cure
Blackhole- Beck
Nowhere at All- Lou Reed
Smokestack Lightning- Howlin' Wolf

Zing

Stay Gold
skybalon: Did you know Susan Hinton was 16 when she wrote The Outsiders? Can you believe that; what were you doing when you were sixteen?
Qweenbeen: Nothing good
...

Qweenbeen: Meeting you.

If There's Such a Thing as Love, I'm In It
skybalon: ... I also don't think it makes any sense having a category like gay because it assumes there is something that is not gay that we understand as anything clear or that we can look at something and say "see, that's heterosexuality; that's homosexuality." I think it has more to do with how we come to understand our own sexuality and want to describe ourselves as normal against something vague. I mean how old were you when you knew what gay was?
Qweenbeen: ... How old was I when I met you?

As Long As It Looks Like I'm Listening...

Last night on Countdown, and in today's NY Times, it's reported that a contingent of Republican representatives confronted MY PRESIDENT with the reality of at least the political situation regarding Iraq.

They are reported to have said conditions need to dramatically improve or more Republicans would desert him. MY PRESIDENT's reported to have said he does not want to leave this fiasco with another president- certainly not a Democratic president. And so he was willing to listen.

Considering how much MY PRESIDENT hates accountability and his inability to publicly change his mind, this seems somewhat promising- like when you see your torturer go for the rubber hose instead of the beaded whip. That's something that might brighten your day.

But three things concern me.

1.) These stories are based on leaked reports of a political event. It provides another opportunity for the president to lift some spirits and maybe touch somebody's soul without really doing or committing to anything that might remedy some of the disaster all around him. There's really no there there. It's just another moment of image; in the residential section of the White House, he was playing the compassionate listener, the father who understands and suffers with his children, but still knows best. Instead of a flight suit or his brush-clearing gloves, he wore a cardigan and as thoughtful an expression he could muster.

John Boehner said "It was very healthy."

Another at the meeting said, “I walked away from it feeling I got a chance to make my points."

See, everyone, daddy's a listening cowboy.

Isn't that very special? It was healthy, I felt listened to. Doesn't that seem exactly how you would feel after a meeting with this guy?
I really do think about this video too much.

2.) Even if this does indicate a change in MY PRESIDENT'S perspective, the dynamics of the collective discussion on what a withdrawal might look like have created a very limited range of possibility. For too long people have been framing this in terms of "stay the course" or "cut and run." I absolutely think that's the fault of Republicans who have tried to paint anyone in any way critical of the war as freedom hating cowards living in a pre 9/11 world emboldening Al Qaeda and not supporting the troops.

Why, my very own David Dreier came out just the other day with a line about the Democrats turning their backs on the troops because they wanted, along with the majority of Americans, to find a way to responsibly withdraw from Iraq.

I'm afraid we currently lack the imagination or creativity necessary to consider options other than "Throw more bodies into the mill" or "We're done, someone else can clean up after us." MY PRESIDENT hates internationalism, we continue to blame the Iraqis for the mess we created, MY PRESIDENT can't even work with people of the same party who are not loyal enough, how will we build real coalitions and do the work necessary to stabilize Iraq? Even as you read that, are you able to think that "stabilize Iraq" can mean anything other than send more people with guns?

3.) Another "even if this is true" concern has to do with how well thought out and planned everything else MY PRESIDENT has done. I'm sure I know plenty of 28 percenters who could give me a list of success stories but I still worry we'd get Shell and Exxon supervising a bunch of recent Bob Jones and Liberty University graduates to work on a stabilization and withdrawal as successful as the Great Missile Defense Net in the Sky that was all the rage before 9/11... no, not that... the pre-war intelligence gathering... no... Katrina cleanup... no... the WTC/9-11 memorial... hmm... the Medicare Drug program... no... environmental protection and leadership... no... C'mon, there's go to be something- Oh lower taxes right! That's something that... led us... to an amazing $8,000,000,000,000 debt. But who cares? That's not even a real number.

So maybe we really have turned a corner. Or maybe we realize that farther up the street, there really is a corner and we could turn it.

Most of These People Are Dead or Broken Up
Waiting in Vain- Bob Marley
Getaway- Stereophonics
I Fall to Pieces- Patsy Cline
Battle Royal- Duke Ellington
Back in The Day- Erykah Badu
Oh My Golly- The Pixies
Morning Bell- Radiohead
It's the Sun- Polyphonic Spree
Nobody Else But Me- Stan Getz
Maria La Bandida- Jimenez
You Can't Stop the Prophet- Jeru The Damaja
You Ain't Goin' Nowhere- Bob Dylan
I'll Sleep When I'm Dead- Warren Zevon
Reality- David Bowie
I Just Wasn't Made for These Times- The Beach Boys

I missed the Colbert Report for this. I know I would've found that more spiritually edifying than whatever this was.

But here's what we learned... hmmm... If the road built a car it would be a BMW... Men who dye their gray hair are more successful professionals and will probably be fired or sued for sexual harassment... Martin Bashir lied to us- he said they would prove whether God exists. I am no more clear on the matter than a half an hour ago.

And of course people are choosing their winners. No surprises I'm sure. If you went in for the Rational Response Squad, they're your victors. If you went in for Kirk and Ray, they won. I think it's much easier to tell who the losers are... At least me for choosing to stay up.

I understand that Kirk and Ray want the opportunity to make an evangelistic invitation, but it seems a bit out of the bounds they set to be scientific. My conscience... pray... even using the term "creation" to infer a creator rather than existence don't seem things you say unless you're talking about or coming from a position of faith. That's not scientific.

Finding hell and the ugliness in the Bible personally distasteful doesn't prove or disprove anything either. And who says God, or religious things are logical? Well I guess people do, but that people do doesn't mean that it's a proper use of the word.

That was lame. I should've just gone to bed... or watched it and complained to The Qweenbeen like I normally would. And is Martin Bashir the regular host of Nightline now? What a joke.

Ugh- creationism isn't science, but then asking to go to God's creation factory isn't really a rebuttal to the claims of creationism.

The crocoduck kind of rules. But I thought they were going to talk about proving the existence of God without resorting to faith. Why is Ray now talking about the Bible and a fallen world? Those don't seem like scientific claims... for anything.

Well at least the Rational Response Squad provides... well an even match.

Oh I just got an Automated Geocache Owner Notification- I know the log book is soaking wet and the pen doesn't work. That's part of the charm of "Friendly Pine."

So Kirk and Ray are going to absolutely prove God's existence scientifically without using faith.

I don't think any of those words mean what they want them to mean.

It's the greatest question of all for Nightline faceoffs- 'nuff said

Wait a second Martin Bashir. Isn't that the guy that interviewed Michael Jackson at Neverland? Well he seems to have the gravitas this topic requires.

Ahh memories... that should disqualify you as a journalist

Hey, Kids, Goatee, Txt, MySpace... To The EXTREME!!!

I'm going to have my finger on the pulse of Evangelical culture tonight. I'm going to totally LIVE BLOG the atheist versus Christian debate to prove God exists on Nightline. RADICAL!

I've never done anything like that. I'm TOTALLY STOKED, BRA!!!

Have The Rolling Stones Killed

Stop Stealing My Pants wants to take me to a concert as a birthday gift.

Clearly, as anyone can see by looking at my playlists, I like too many great bands. How can I choose?

She called it a We're Just So Busy Gift- as in I'm giving you a gift that's going to force you to spend more time with me. I'm considering taking the joke another step further and picking a band that neither of us would like- is Deal or No Deal still taping? That would be good and unpleasant. Oh I know- a Republican debate. The awkwardness will make it a very We're Just So Busy event.

I was actually dropping hints for something like this birthday past but no one loved me enough to take me to see The Pixies. I would actually very much like to see a performance of Madam Butterfly


Oh, and guess what I'm watching tonight.

Oh The Way Glenn Miller Played...

Do we realize when we appeal to BIBLICAL VALUES it doesn't mean anything specific, but it is entirely possible it can mean this?

And Yet You Start to Reply- Heavy Words Are So Lightly Thrown

We seldom think about the religious claims we make much further than the claim itself. Maybe it's because sometimes they are nothing more than calculated kowtowing claptrap... what else... craziness... caca... I guess the first worked well enough. Sometimes it's just cynical code for, "Of course you can trust me; listen to my God-talk." Politicians are especially good at this. It makes a certain type of sense that in the church-going, God Bless America-ing, Pray for the Troops-ing, 10 Commandments Monument Building climate of Congress only one representative, Pete Stark, honestly says he is an atheist. It's a sad type of sense, but a type of sense nonetheless. Maybe we're all playing the same game- we're just saying what we think we're supposed to say and then doing whatever else (after all, works are dead- right?). Maybe most Americans want their politicians to at least pretend they're playing the same game as everyone else.

That may be too cynical. It is too cynical- maybe politicians aren't the best population to sample. Maybe it's a matter of our religious claims being sincere but shallow- the equivalent of a birthday greeting to a seldom seen uncle.
"To a Great God On This Special Day: Your Ways Are Just Purrr-fect"

It seems earnestly shallow.

The Qweenbeen delivered a wedding cake this weekend. Part of the reception was outside and the wind was having a go at the decorations. Eventually the wind died down- as it does- and someone said, "God loves His children." (I don't know if she capitalized the pronoun in her speech, but I am assuming she would have). I suppose this could have been in response to anything- a warm spring, the cake, 600 dead Iraqi civilians last week. Who knows for sure (other than the lady that said it)? I think she meant it in regards to the wind dying down. That's how she/we knew God loves His children.

I doubt that if the tables and umbrellas had blown away she would say, "God does not love His children." Well, I would hope she would not come to that conclusion because of the wind. But saying, "God loves His children," in response to the wind stopping suggests an awful lot I don't think she/we would mean to suggest.

I think what she really meant was, "I am glad the wind died down- it's easy to feel grateful and loved when things go the way I like." I am probably making more of her comment than she would have. Which is still problematic if we're supposedly talking about God- if she didn't mean all that much by it, isn't it vainly invoking God? As far as commandments go, mightn't "God loves His children" in this case be somehow worse than a sincere "God damn such and such" if some such and such is really damn-worthy? And as far as being a faithful response, mightn't the latter be more than the former?

But we're not always cynically motivated or all that shallow. Maybe we just say things we don't understand or fully appreciate. Maybe we really mean what we say only we don't understand what we mean. We really think we can say "even though all fall away because of You, I will never fall away," or, "it is good for us to be here, let us make three tabernacles, one for you, one for Moses, and one for Elijah," or even, "You are the Christ, Son of the living God." But when it comes down to it, we just don't know what it means to say something like that.

And then to make things worse we pretend we can safely build theocratic systems on our flimsy foundations- or no, what's worse is we do build theocratic systems on our flimsy foundations.

I'm temperamentally and theologically fond of the Quaker traditions of silence, and waiting, and being creed wary, and living in a way that corresponds to what we realize we can't say about God. I'm troubled by the contemporary Evangelical tendency to try to give life to statements of faith, and trying to find just the right name or acronym for some curriculum or other, and letting words rather than actions serve as metaphors of faith.

Still I'd Leap in Front of a Flying Bullet For You
Bump It- Erykah Badu
Never- Cat Stevens
I Don't KNow What To Do With My Life- Buzzcocks
Dig It- The Beatles
Koka Cola- The Clash
Bob's Uvula Who?- Green Day
Something Against You- The Pixies
Freddie Freeloader- Miles Davis
Isobel- Bjork
Guerilla Radio- Rage Against the Machine

We Have Many Beautiful Pinatas for Your Birthday Celebration, Each One Filled With Little Surprises

I just had a birthday.

So did these folks.

I'm not one to make a big deal about my birthday- though I don't mind if you are. Advancing in years isn't much to me, advancing in maturity is. Not that I am mature. I still snicker at the word booty and passages like Ezekiel 23 in the Bible. Things like that. Not mature at all. Why just the other day I asked Grandpa if he wanted his soda in the can.

...

You may be too mature to get that
...

I am maturing. I can see differences between skybalon today and skybalon of days passed. For one thing, old skybalon (meaning younger) had no problem performing minor surgery on himself. Old skybalon had a very liberal sense of what counted as minor surgery. Old skybalon would've thought something like this was something he could take care of on his own.

Now skybalon thinks better. Experience, connections, sensitivity to others, other stuff.

So happy birthday to me.

Did you know that May 1st is also a legal US holiday? It's Loyalty Day. No kidding. "The holiday was first observed in 1921 as 'Americanization Day,' and was intended to counterbalance the celebration of Labor Day on May Day which was perceived as communist." That's right, celebrating the weekend, a 40 hour work week, ending child labor, honoring work instead of mammon- that's communist.

What can you do? Different folks have a different sense of what loyalty is. Some people are surprised to hear I un-ironically have a gigantic American flag. Some people are surprised that I consider myself a patriot. But some people think you can only be loyal by being on the side with the sticks.

Does that make sense? It will.

What A Smart Little iTunes
One Flight Down- Norah Jones
South of the Border- Patsy Cline
Won't Get Fooled Again- The Who
Theme From "Mr. Broadway"- Dave Brubeck
Groovy Situation- Gene Chandler
Rebellion- The Arcade Fire
I Fought The Law- Green Day
I Started Something I Couldn't Finish- The Smiths
Black Math- The White Stripes
Whatsername- Green Day
Sing It Again- Beck
Retired Woman...- Jad Fair and Yo La Tengo