Gonzales Defends U.S. Policy on Torture/Gonzalez Defends Policy on Adultery
LONDON -- The U.S. attorney general defended his country's treatment of terror suspects against criticism from Europe and elsewhere, saying Tuesday that the United States abhors torture and respects the rights of detainees.
AP Wire
"The U.S. abhors torture and categorically rejects its use,"
-Oh, I absolutely hate adultery- it's bad, it's awful.
-Then why are you dating other women?
-Well, you know, that's not adultery. I don't know why you call it that. I'm doing it for you.
"The United States has always been and remains a great defender of human rights and the rule of law,"
-Hey I wouldn't have married you if I didn't think marriage was something valuable and worth sticking out, dating other people helps me do that.
"I regret that there has been concern or confusion about our commitment to the rule of law."
-I'm sorry that you seem to think my dating other people means I don't really value our marriage or the commitment I made. You just gotta get those crazy ideas out of your head
"We are aware of no other nation in history that has afforded procedural protections like these to enemy combatants,"
-I don't know how your other husbands do things, I'm doing a pretty good job of limiting my dating to just one or two other people
-I don't have any other husbands
-Well there you go, what are you complaining about? I'm the best
"If we went around this room, people would have different definitions of what constitutes torture, depending on the circumstances,"
-Look not everyone is going to agree about what constitutes adultery. Some people might think my having sex with other people is adultery, some people might think just going on dates with other people is adultery. Just buying tons of porn could be adultery- I'm not them. I know I am totally emotionally committed to you. Whenever I'm with anyone else, I'm thinking of you. So the fact that you think I am committing adultery is not only wrong, but it's insulting and if I can be frank here, just a little bit insensitive and ungrateful on your part
2 comments:
I define adultery by a married man being in the same room as a woman who is not his wife. If you have ever been in a room with a woman who is not your wife you have committed adultery and are certainly going to hell.
I suggest you better make sure you are never in a room with another woman, otherwise it's damnation for you, and I'll be the first to judge you for your egregious sin.
Three words:
egg-zact-leee!!!
So many of the current Administration's arguments are like the guy who's late and says he stopped to get something to drink because he's trying to stay hydrated when in fact he was having drinks at a stip club.
And when confronted with his trip to strip club, his response is "What? You don't want me to stay hydrated?"
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