NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

or I Guess It's Okay When You Say It Like That

MILWAUKEE (AP) -- U.S. Sen. Russ Feingold has decided against seeking the 2008 Democratic presidential nomination, saying he wanted to focus on his work in the Senate.

In a letter posted on his political action committee's Web site, Feingold said he was excited that Tuesday's elections gave Democrats control of both chambers of Congress, giving them the chance to "undo much of the damage that one-party rule has done to America."

"We can actually advance progressive solutions to such major issues as guaranteed health care, dependence on oil and our unbalanced trade policies," he wrote.

NY Times


When you were a young'n did you ever have a crush on a professor or some such person? Did you go out of your way to ask them questions and do extra well in class so they would notice you? Did you work extra hard on your final paper and write them a note telling them how much you enjoyed their class? Did you contemplate staying on past graduation as their research assistant? You're a nerd.

I had a crush on a Sociology Professor at UCSB. She reminded me a bit of Dana Scully- no nonsense, assertive, thought-provoking, challenging, smart, red hair. Except she was better than Dana Scully; she was real, and a sociologist. Of course, if a crush like that is ever requited, the person on whom you have the crush is not really crushworthy. In which case, the whole situation is rather sad and pathetic, rather than mopey and a bit sappy.

So Russ Feingold is opting to not run for president, instead choosing to remain in a place where he thinks he can do more good for the country. The very quality that makes him so attractive for president makes him choose not to run... Of course those in the know say senator is the real peach public office; the cynical might say Russ Feingold is doing this as some self-serving, K Street-Republican, wealth-grabbing power play. To which I say, "I will fight you." I will fight you and use whatever I remember of my deadly martial arts training to cause a dislocation of your humeroulnar joint with a fracture of the radial head... or I will shatter your thyroid cartilage with a well-placed elbow or forearm. I'd like to hear you bad mouth Russ Feingold then... or... what else could I do? I could come at you as a giant Slor. Many Shuvs and Zools will know what it it to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you.

Oh what am I doing?

Russ Feingold is right. The Senate needs him. We need him in the Senate. He's decent and a good senior leader. America's not ready for a decent person in the White House- not just yet- maybe not ever. Because daddy didn't love us. Because nothing we did was ever good enough for mother. Because we're not ready. We still want someone that treats us as badly as we know we deserve. Russ can't fix that. We have to fix ourselves before we can deserve someone like Russ Feingold.

Maybe If We Think, and Wish, and Hope, and Pray It Might Come True...

Jon Stewart? Really. I literally said, "Now it's the Democrats turn to be perverted and corrupt." But what thanks do I get?- What payment do I get? Nothing. Even the knowledge that I came up with it first is like ashes in my mouth. Whatever. Like it's that clever of a joke anyway.

So I had someone come whooping into class yesterday saying how happy she was that Rumsfeld resigned and it looked like both Houses of Congress were going Democrat. That's cool. Being a hippy fag, I am happy to see this "thumpin,'" as MY PRESIDENT has put it. But, in the same vein, that is as a hippy fag, I am wary of the "election as climax" view.

I'm a liberal because I believe in the potential of the state to do good. I believe in cooperation, planning, a public, a common weal, responsibility to and for each other, and the real historic manifestation of these ideas. But I'm a Christian- so I see us individually as contingent, limited, prone to failure in our best efforts, selfish, easily seduced by power, and perfectly content to destroy everything, including ourselves, in our lust for that power. Though, also as a Christian, that's not the whole story; I am hopeful. I guess I'm a hippy Jesus fag.

I guess.

I don't buy into the fear. I'm not too worried about the Heterosexual Exclusion Act of 2007. I'm actually looking forward to some good old San Francisco values. I hope some good can be done. I hope the Feingolds, the Deans, the Kucinchs... Kuciniches... Kucinichen? will last longer and do more than the Clintons and Feinsteins. Expanding Medicare, raising the minimum wage, putting us back on the right side of the Geneva Conventions, grinding up old people and feeding them to the poor- there's some work to do I suppose. But won't it be nice if Congress actually does work, some function over dysfunction?

Eh...? Maybe? Fingers crossed?

Wait a Minute!

Dear Mr Jonas Koromah,

Who are you? I see you are using the same email address as Dr Nuhu, but I have not had any dealing with you before. What have you done with Dr. Nuhu and why are you contacting me instead of him? Explain yourself and this highly unusual interspersion into our business!

Demandingly yours,
skybalon

I Already Bought Calf Implants and a Hummer

Dear Mr skybalon,
Greetings and many thanks for your mail, 50650 was a mistake, I mean 50/50%.
 
Once again I assured to you that you have noting to worried about to comsummate this deal than to fill in the application and send it to the Bank.
 
This is my direct phone line 00226 7609 7028, so call me immediately you send the application to the Bank.
 
Mr Jonas Koromah.
 
///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
 
 
 
ATTN: MRS JAMILA AMINA ALI,
The Director of Operations
Foreign Remittance Division
Bank of Africa (BOA)
Ouagadougou Burkina-faso.
Tel:Fax: 00226-5042-0179.
Email: (boa_g_headquters@excite.com)
Dear Sir/madam
LETER OF ENQUIRY AS TO THE STATUS OF ACCOUNT NUMBER:$286-41732-55. WHICH BELONGS TO MY NEXT OF KIN DR. GEORGE BRUMLEY WHO DIED ON JUNE 15, 2001.
I Mr ..(your name), of....(address)..........humbly applies to this bank today the.......(date)........as next of kin to your deceased customer late Dr. George Brumley from America.
I humbly apply putting claim over his balance with this bank valued at M 25,600
000.00 USD, left in account number:$286-41732-55 .
I also wish my application will be given an urgent attention as I wish this balance be released and re-transfered into my account as stated below.
BANK NAME: ................................................
ADDRESS:.....................................................
ACCOUNT NUMBER: ......................................
ROUTING NUMBER: .........................(IFAVAILABLE)
SWIFT NUMBER: ...........................(IFAVAILABLE)
BENEFICIARY: ..................................................
MY PRIVATE TELL::FAX NUMBER:-....................................Email:............................
I would appreciate your recommendation for an accredited notary to assist me in all legal issues that may arise in this transaction,Please, accept my apologies for this late application as it was due to family logistic problems consequent upon his funeral rights which have just been settled.
I hope you will expedite action, thanks in anticipation for your coperation.
 
Yours faithfully,
...............................
Your name and signature.

To Be a True Player You Have to Know How to Play...

As products of the larger culture, our churches tend to not be places where we can be honest about our sins and hope to be transformed into better people... Well the honesty about sin tends to be abstract and the better people we hope to become seems oriented about finding what does and doesn't work. We are still obsessed with being successful as the broader culture describes it, we just give the barriers and goals different names. Sin keeps you from being successful and if you're a Christian, you're giving yourself the best opportunity to hit those success markers: more money, bigger boobs, better sex, smarter kids, more access, etc... Our sins are little hindrances toward self-fulfillment. "The church" is just another association that augments my personal growth, it only has a value insofar as it develops my human capital. Remembering that we are creatures in service of God and each other doesn't really have a place in a model that values the self so much it is willing to destroy it.

So, as long as that's the church, I don't think we can be honest with each other and confess that Jesus is anything more than the most recent manifestation of some fertility god and that there is an end for humanity apart from a more powerful, more universalized self. But I also see no reason to fret, or any reason why we can't continue in this vein. I mean, I see it as a horrible, deadly illusion, but we're nothing if not adaptable.

So here's some help.

I think I have something that Ted Haggard can use as long as he wants to remain in the Fourth Stage of Evangelical Denial ©. It might even help him get back to Stage 1 and back on top of his game.

It's all a case of mistaken identity.

"Neil Patrick Harris is gay – and wants to quell recent reports that he had denied it. The actor tells PEOPLE exclusively:

"The public eye has always been kind to me, and until recently I have been able to live a pretty normal life. Now it seems there is speculation and interest in my private life and relationships."

People


Problem solved.

Abortions for Some, Little American Flags for Everybody Else

How angry of a Simpsons writer do you have to be to end the Treehouse of Horror on that note last night? It was neither one of those subtle moments when you turn to another and knowingly say, "It's true." Nor was it the kind of laugh out loud but socially critical comedy of Citizen Kang. At its best, The Simpsons have been one of the more biting shows. Even as old people like me bemoan what we see as the general decline of the show, the hits of the current 1 hit for every 2 misses era are often as big a hit as ever. And the Halloween episodes have remained especially relevant- not in a youth-pastory, goateed, middle-aged mom in a thong, do I say "sick" or "dope" way- but in that good old "These are our sacred cows; let's eat them," way. But last night's "It's true- we're so lame" ending was a bit... a lot sour. And still, what a hit.
That they could do this without being preachy or heavy-handed is either a testament to the writers or a measure of how preachy and heavy-handed I am. I guess it could be both. But that it's a cartoon, rather or more than TV news, our churches, or the branch of our government purposed with oversight that offered this clearly stated critique is a testament to how pathetic we all are. Isn't that what we want animated comedies to do for us?

I Will Own You

Dear Dr Samailla Nuhu,

I was beginning to worry that I might not hear from you again, but I was glad to receive your email this week.

Now that I know this is part of your program for concrete evidence of achievement in the banking industry, you have all my attention and confidence. Even as I write this with Reading losing to Liverpool, I am neither distracted nor discouraged. Maybe I'll buy a part of the team with all the money I'll have- I guess I don't want them to finish in the top of the table their first year in the Premiership. Then they might be too expensive- ha ha ha.

Anyway, it may simply be a cultural misunderstanding, but I don't know what 50650 means. Could you explain that please?

And as far as a check goes, I suppose I can agree to a wire transfer and then make my own giant check. I just thought it would make all of this a lot more special if you presented me with a check; but since I now understand that this will be the crowning achievement of your banking career, I can forgo the giant novelty check. I am glad to help you.

You have my willingness to assist. Please send me the draft application of claim. Let's get this party started.

skybalon

I Was Beginning to Worry

From : SAMAILLA NUHU
Sent : Wednesday, November 1, 2006 7:47 AM
To : skybalon
Subject : Update
Dear Mr skybalon,
 
Greetings and many thanks for your mail.
 
1.) I am confused, am I really the next of kin or are we pretending I am the
next of kin (wink)?
I still want to inform you that, this transaction is considered as part of my prospective achievement in life as a banker haven worked for years without concrete evidence of my achievement in the banking industry and thus ,must be given all the vital attention that will make it to work for our corporate interest to be achieved,the request of the foreigner as a next of kin in this GOD Gift is occasioned by the fact that the customer was a foreigner and a Burkinabe cannot stand as the next of kin to a foreigner.

2.) Do you agree to the 85-15 split I suggested?
50650.
3.) Can we arrange that I be paid with one of those big foam-core novelty
checks?
In cheks also Good but I prefer account wire transfer.
  
I shall provide you with all available information that can enable you claim the fund for two of us whenever the bank needs more information from you in relation of the deposited fund, finally, don't forget that I am here to back you up and as such, you should not be afraid but to bring good ideas that will help us to get this fund into your account successfully.
 
Upon the receipt of your willingenss to assits, I will send you by fax or e-mail a draft application of claim which you will send to the bank as the next of kin and the next step to take. I will not fail to bring to your notice that this business is hitch free and that you should not entertain any fear as the whole required arrangement as been perfected for the transfer.
 
To read you soon.
 
Dr Samailla Nuhu

You Bred Raptors?

Hey kids,
In a controversial study, researchers have resurrected a retrovirus that infected our ancestors millions of years ago and now sits frozen in the human genome...

The researchers showed that the newly crated virus could infect a variety of human cell lines and replicate. But its infectivity was extremely low, perhaps because human cells have evolved resistance against such viral invaders...

"I think it's pretty exciting," says John Coffin, who studies retroviruses at Tufts University in Boston.

ScienceNOW via BOING

Haven't TV and movies yet taught us that everything "scientists" do will somehow kill us all? The only way scientists can help us is if they are just one of a handful of castaways on an uncharted desert isle. Even then, their benefit is limited, but then so is their destructive power.

I'm not as worried as I might otherwise be though- I mean "ancestors millions of years ago..." and "evolved resistance-" These guys can't be that good of scientists if they're working from premises like that.

Am I right, or am I right?

I Know Who You Are and Where You Live

QweenBean says I need to do a better job of protecting people's anonymity in my interblog. I say most anyone that reads it already knows who's who. She says that's why I need to watch what I write and about whom I write it.

Screw that.

But I do like coming up with nicknames and so will do a better job of not using anyone's real name.

That being said:

Happy Birthday, Grandpa.

Also, Reading's struggling with the big boys these days.

Sex, Drugs, and Watered-Down Adult Contemporary Pop

Ted Haggard, gay! Or he maybe just had sex with another man. You may or may not know who Ted Haggard is, but he might be gay. If you're a Christian in America, it's likely he's your pope- or like your pope. If you're a Christian in America, he's probably also part of the cabal of pastors, politicians, the psychologist, and talking heads that not only says how you think you should read the Bible you carry around in a nylon case, but also which bubbles you should fill out on your voting ballot. They're why you think Jesus rode a dinosaur to church and why when America does it, it's okay. They're who your pastor probably first consults before anyone else for the weekly concert and personal affirmation we call a sermon these days; they're consulted before even the Holy Spirit. Ted's the head of that "they." He meets with MY PRESIDENT, or at least met with MY PRESIDENT, regularly- as his spiritual advisor. MY PRESIDENT said they agreed on everything except what kind of truck to drive.

And now... well I don't know about "right now" but as of late, Pastor Ted has resigned his positions as head pastor of his church and president of the NAE so that a full investigation into the allegations can occur.

What allegations? Well, a former prostitute has alleged that he and Pastor Ted have had sex and drugs. He alleges he has proof. Pastor Ted has begun the process of Evangelical Loss- it's a five step process that begins when status or position is threatened. He seems to be at step three right now- Well he was at stage 2 last night. According to Morning Edition- and I can never be too sure about what I hear on Morning Edition given the Snooze Button dream-like haze I hear it in- he may be at stage 3. Stage 1 is denial. Stage 2 is qualified denial pending an investigation. Stage 3 is admission of indiscretions. Stage 4 is blaming someone/thing else- perhaps the liberal media, alcoholism, a Catholic priest, or Bill Clinton. Stage 5 is the book tour.

Some people, for a number of reasons, will delight in this. The hypocrisy, the proof of sanctimony, the justice of the unicorn, the irony, are sometimes the only good things people know. Maybe people like to see Christians fail- a lot of the time it's because Christians give the impression that they can't, or don't. I don't know what all will motivate people. I do know, people who didn't know who Ted Haggard is, will know now and feel very satisfied.

It's sad. Pastor Ted's betrayed his family and this guy; he's sinned against God. It will be made all the more sad if Pastor Ted does in fact go down the road of Evangelical loss following in the fresh steps of the likes of Tom Delay, Ken Lay, and Ralph Reed. People who call themselves Evangelicals these days generally don't know what to do with something as strange as guilt. But then how could we/they if the whole foundation of our/their lives seems to be "I believe in Jesus so whatever I do is okay, unless it's not, in which case someone else made me do it."?

Wow, that's a really unfair caricature.

Anyway, as I said, Pastor Ted seems to have admitted some type of wrong-doing. I don't know what that means- maybe all he did was go see Wicked and had brunch, that might be bad enough for Colorado Springs. Or maybe he [redacted] a [redacted] while he [redacted] his [redacted] on a leather [redacted] in his mouth. Like I said, I don't know.

What I do know... think... struggle with... We (Evangelicals?) have done such a great job of making it clear gay people are not welcome in the church that it seems we're not really the church. We have such a reified picture of gay as some absolute other, that we have no need to deal with it or people we place into that conceptual category apart from some very bizarre and dangerous criteria. What's that worth? That's definitely not being the Body of Christ.

So he sinned against his family, this guy, and God... I guess allegedly. Well, not allegedly. I suppose whatever his specific acts may have been, whether it was smoking a slim cigarette or smoking a... no that's too blue... whether it was drinking an Appletini or... doing something else, he felt it was worth resigning his positions. But he possibly did his church a favor. Some chickens need to come home to roost. Maybe, it's providential... yeah "maybe."

Maybe, I guess I should say hopefully, the most influential Christian in America going through all this will help us see that gay people are (wackily enough) people. We're not the church if there is some scary evil "other" that we feel comfortable and confident excluding and by that confirm our own goodness or against whom we define down our own sin.

Or we can just take the next step down the road we're on- look harder for the gays, line them up and kick them out, then build our walls higher and thicker.

ed- derived apologies to SNL

No Complaints, But How About Some Variety iTunes?
Girl- Beck
Ed is Dead- The Pixies
So. Central Rain- REM
Lovesong- The Cure
Lord Only Knows- Beck
Hey- The Pixies
Jamming- Bob Marley
Don't Worry About the Government- Talking Heads
Hyper-Ballad- Bjork
Pretty Vacant- Sex Pistols
The Duke- Miles Davis

Sexy Comes Earlier and Earlier Every Year

I'm not the first to note that Halloween often carries the opportunity/challenge/oppressive requirement that women be a sexy/skanky/slutty whatever. A woman's not just a nurse for Halloween, she's a sexy/skanky/slutty nurse. This just means she's a nurse in a short skirt, push up bra, high heels, and low cut top. If she's a car, ghost, robot, grandma, table, maid, giraffe, amoeba... leaf... bucket... whatever- it's the same thing.

Other people have written Feminist critiques of this or just made the funny observation that it's the women who don't buy into the caricature of woman that don't do this.

Whatever.

I wanted there to be a caricature of hyper-masculinity that I could be for Halloween but anything I thought of seemed too Pride Parade. Plus, there isn't much that might be hyper-masculine that I can pull off. Unless it's hairy. I can do that.

I can also pull off sexy Vikram Ray. So I did.

The World's A Mess; It's In My Kiss

So thinking about my awesome Jack-o-Lantern, I thought something like this:
"... a symbol of generalized angst that accompanies the historical conditions of globalization can't beat a classical representation of the real horrors of starving Irish immigrants and their barely disguised pagan worship..."

And it made me think this:
"... Ha- another way Mexicans and Irish are similar- they hang on to their 'old ways' pretty tightly."

And then writing notes and looking up some images for class this week I thought:
"...the mining through tradition and the reformulation we do to make sense of who we are is wild- culture is a bit of an illusion."

There is no real "they," no Irish, no Mexican, except for the Irish and Mexican we create.

Of course there is a place called Ireland, a place called Mexico and people there and not there who identify themselves as Irish or Mexican. (Though even those labels suggest a continuity or stability of identity that is not real- ask if someone is Tarascan or Purepecha, Mexica, or Mexican- and they might say, "Yes"). So Halloween is an Irish holiday that would make no sense if it were transported, as we practice it here, back to Eire for their Samhain, but without that there would be no Halloween as we have it here. This isn't just to say that we (should) understand ourselves via inherited traditions or live in a particular context. That's just being alive- go ahead, try being outside of history and see what happens. The point is, we pick and choose and labor to craft an identity based on who we think we are or what we should be- and just as intensely labor to create an identity for those who are not us. It's good to understand that, in fact, it's a problem, a horrible problem when we don't. When we think that a culture can be a closed and stable body of phenomena that determine behavior, that is as dumb as saying "Ohh... Gemini and Virgo are ruled by Mercury, don't buy that house this year."

Irish aren't one way, Arabs another, Mexicans yet another and on. That is, there is no thing that is Irish, Arab, Mexican, French, German, Chinese because it is Irish, Arab, Mexican, French, German, Chinese. We can say that in particular historical conditions there are traditions and behaviors that are possible and observable, but it is neither a genuine appreciation of diversity nor a true understanding of what we are as human to say, "You're ___ because you're Irish."

There are at least three reasons why this matters to me (besides obliquely addressing it in class this week): Reason the 1st- I am part of a community/culture that wants to transform its identity into something that is neither consistent with its assumed tradition nor the understanding we have of what it means to be in Christ. It doesn't help to say, "That's not who we are," because very quickly it's who we could be. But that's a bad we to be. Calling ourselves EFCSW instead of a Yearly Meeting, Annual Conference instead of the same, murmurs that we may discard our Fervent Convictions, being so cozy with Biola, inviting Master's Seminarians to speak to our congregations all mean something- something bad.

These aren't just random happenings, but events in the ongoing formation of our community character and identity- none of which are appropriate to who we think we are as disciples, people who have been called to be transformed from slaves to friends of Christ. If they're a deliberate rejection of Quakerism, that's sad. If they are thoughtless or based on church growth-marketing strategies (same thing as thoughtless I guess) that's more than sad... sadder I guess.

Reason B. Many things in the air these days suggest we don't understand culture this way. There seems to be this talk of a conflict of civilizations, of essential attributes of culture being behind this so called defining war of the 21st century. Oh the conflict is really there, but the reasons attributed to it, the categories for thinking about it, and what we imagine can be done are facile and, well... wrong. The corollary aspects of this syndrome have us believing there is something unified and bound called "American" that is sustained by becoming more and more like our enemies but is somehow justified by some magical substance that is "America."

Nothing above suggests that differences and conflict aren't real. But, this reduction of conflict to an issue of culture or civilization justifies and exacerbates it.

Reason #3- I am thinking about Halloween and Dia de Los Muertos and how much fear there is surrounding these celebrations. I am wondering if this fear is of death, remembering we are spiritual, of some pagan "other," of Papists, or good old Christian in-fighting.

At least, in their refusing to give up their "pre-Christian" practices, autumn is made that much better for us... whoever that might be.

That's all- no big deal.

Who's Been Telling Lies?
So What- Miles Davis
Aquarius- The 5th Dimension
La Vie En Rose- Edith Piaf
Slow Country- Gorillaz
Join Together- The Who
Happiness is a Warm Gun- The Beatles
World's A Mess; It's In My Kiss- X

Jack-O-Editorials

I must be very tedious company; even our Jack-o-lanterns are politicized? See how we've incorporated the themes of the season into our creations- brilliant isn't it? 9/11 and sheer terror- what more could you ask for?

Here's what more I could ask for: in any pumpkin carving contest, blatantly maudlin entries should be tossed from our roof and onto our compost pile, judges should be thoroughly vetted, found familiar with classical jack-o-lantern forms, and be able to distinguish between generalized anxiety and real fear.

A Second Hand Emotion

Another Christian couple we know is divorcing. This one, "childed" three times, made it about seven years. Here's what they seemed to have going for them:
advanced degrees
financial security
church going
clearly designated and strictly enforced "gender roles"
"traditional values" oriented
'Eh, I'd say they had all that going against them too.

The husband is intensely misogynistic, more than just the way most American Christians are. He says some pretty stupid things about the way men are and the way women are, and how much better men are than women simply by virtue of their being men or women. As I said, most American Christians aren't too keen on the ladies so I don't know that this caused the divorce... then again I guess most Christian marriages end in divorce so... maybe. Still it seems many people are perfectly content to participate in their own devaluing. But maybe the intensity of the misogyny is suggestive. There's only so many places you can go when a man so vehemently declares how worthless women are and how much he prefers the company of men. We'll see if that shoe drops too.

They live in a state that is passionately pro-family. Of course by pro-family, I don't mean that they support a minimum living wage, universalizing health care, creating and supporting high-functioning successful schools or things like that. I mean they hate gay people and the idea of them getting married. I guess they didn't hate gay marriage hard enough to save their own. And they're smack dab in the middle of the Bible Belt, the state in the Bible Belt that has the nation's 6th highest divorce rate and doesn't consider it a hate crime to beat someone up because they're gay.

...sigh...

The same week the Mark Foley Sexually Predatory Alcoholic story broke there was another story in the San Francisco Chronicle that in another context might be called a human interest story, but here and now it has a very political content. It was about a couple who have been together for the past 26 years. Over these past 26 years they have raised five children. These children were abandoned by their parents, exposed in the womb to alcohol or drugs, had few options other than emergency residential or group home placement. After having worked as a social worker, I would guess it impossible to conceive of a hell for children worse than group homes or temporary emergency placement- temporary placements that more often turn out to be permanent. To be fair I suppose some people can't imagine a hell worse than their having two dads.

The narrative I'm supposed to buy along with the Foley story contains a few elements that make it impossible for the Chronicle story to exist in the same universe as the Foley story: that somehow his behavior was promoted by the permissive environment created by out of control political correctness, that he could creep around unafraid because no one wanted to be accused of gay-bashing, that the gay in a gay person makes them dangerous, less, scary, failed. I'm supposed to figure Foley stalked teenagers because he was gay, not because he was a jerk. I am supposed to believe that there is something integral to the being of a gay person that makes them not only sexual predators, but incapable of doing anything like raising children. These guys raising these kids are not supposed to be able to do anything other than pursue their own narcissistic sexual gratification. So in that sense, I suppose there really is a crime against nature here.

26 years. That beats my parents. That beats most divorcees I know. And five kids. Five adopted kids. That's seems pretty selfless- maybe pro-life even. Don't these guys know they're gay?

If Lady Skybalon ever decides to divorce me, I'm guessing it'll be because she got sick of hearing me complain about a messy bathroom. But I guess now you can say it's because of my weak stand against the gays.

So I switched to Beta- what am I supposed to do with that? I I preferred editing in HTML. And labels? Doesn't that impose some kind of method to this, now I have to think of things as connected and part of my oeuvre? Labels!? We'll see about that.

Meg White Has a Horrible Voice
Overjoyed- Stevie Wonder
No Way- Pearl Jam
Midnight Rambler- The Rolling Stones
Last Stop: This Town- Eels
Half a Person- The Smiths
Passive Manipulation- The White Stripes
Landslide- Fleetwood Mac

I Say We Hang Him... Then We Kill Him

Another Active Martyr Devotion- This Time Timely
Calvin: I hope that the sentence of death will at least be passed on him; but I desire that the severity of the punishment be mitigated.
Farel: Screw that, burn him.
On October 27 (that's today), 1553 Michael Servetus was burned at the stake in Switzerland for denying that the Trinity was a scriptural concept and rejecting infant baptism. John Calvin thought he should be executed by sword rather than fire. He testified against him and urged the death penalty, only a gentle death penalty.

In this moment of weakness, William Farel admonished his brother in Christ to be bold and demand that Servetus be burned for the preservation of Calvin's faith. Certainly if, as Calvin taught, adulterers, witches, and disobedient children should be executed, then heretics deserved the most painful death imaginable. Farel wouldn't let Calvin budge and so Servetus was burned.

Do you sometimes feel squeamish about what the Lord requires of you? Are you ever confused about how to act? Don't cringe from encouragement and correction in the Body of Christ. Calvin was confused too. Providentially, Farel was there to sharpen him.

Are we sometimes divided over the details of our faith? Make sure you reach out to your brothers and sisters in Christ in those areas where we find common ground. We may not know how to kill God's enemies, but by His grace we know that they deserve to die. Whether we are on the receiving or giving end of encouragement and correction we can be united in purpose.

Lord, we ask that wherever Your Body may be divided we find unity. We ask that you look not on our sin, but in your mercy find us faithful for being willing to kill at all.

Maybe You Ate a Clove

I had to brush my teeth after that last post.

Here's something much more pleasant:

Russ Feingold is the 2006 Person of the Year

Editor Brennan Nardi says she and editorial director Neil Heinen have had their eyes on Feingold for the honor since 2005, when he became the first senator of either party to call for troop withdrawal in Iraq. “It’s really a culmination of an exciting decision for Madison and Wisconsin on whether he’ll run for president, his independent stands on extremely important and often divisive issues, and his continued commitment to travel around the state to listen to what people have to say about them.”

WISPOLITICS.COM

Russ Feingold is so great, he can be named 2006's person of the year before the year is even over.

Holy Moly I love this guy.

(single tear)

Back to The Future

Farmers farming, small businesses growing, people going to the market all under a government that is sovereign, can sustain and defend itself, and is a US ally. That's why we invaded and now occupy Iraq. At least that's what MY PRESIDENT says. (No transcript link as the news conference is still under way).

Uh... isn't that a bit vague or a kind of low bar? I know he's not very specific when he talks about things like freedom and democracy, and when he's more specific, what he describes hardly sounds like the kind of freedom and democracy humans require. I mean, after all, isn't what he describes what existed under Saddam Hussein? That's sad.

Oh and here's a fun quote from the news conference:
"Look, I rea- uh I look at the newspapers around here."

Once Again

Look how many posts in one day; this is just like the old days.

This is barely a real post though. Still, this Saturday at 7PM, we are having our... I don't know 6th? annual Halloween Pumpkin Monster Fest... thing. If you can read this you are invited- especially you, Russ Feingold staffer forced to search through the series of tubes for mentions of your boss.

Anyway costumes are encouraged but not required.

Here's where I live.

It Works If You Work It

Rename The Policy Game That's Not a Game
My interblog contests don't work so I won't try to force a game out of it, though it would be a good one.

We know now that "Stay The Course" was never MY PRESIDENT'S Iraq war policy; only an idiot would think that's what he meant when he said it. But still, he probably won't be saying it as much. What will he say?

If it were a game I would say suggest your name for the policy and you could win something... something like... a Serrano Chile Plant. Yes!

Okay, I am so spineless. It's a game. If you come up with a new suggestion for the new Iraq War policy euphemism (that's probably going to become what has heretofore been characterized as "cut and run") and I pick it as the winner, you win a Serrano Chile plant. I also have some Habanero plants, I guess I could give one of those to a really great name. Well, I'm getting ahead of myself.

There it is, win a FREE chile plant by renaming the Iraq War Policy euphemism. Make salsa for your friends.

Your Future Lies Before You

So a big story for hippies this week is how MY PRESIDENT has said his policy has never been "stay the course." That anyone would make political hay of this is really a disservice to our country and reveals how little they know the man in the office. But perhaps worse, it misses the opportunity for personal growth that MY PRESIDENT offers whenever he speaks.

It's true MY PRESIDENT did say the US would "stay the course" in Iraq, over and over again. But to say that he meant we would "stay the course" in Iraq when he said we would "stay the course" really doesn't grasp the nuance of language and understanding, and how MY PRESIDENT, especially, is a master of variegated interpretations and layered meanings.

His words reach out to us and demand from us participation in understanding. That's what language generally requires, but MY PRESIDENT takes it further and cleverly uses the simplest expressions to address the most complex realities, and in that we are required to move beyond a facile awareness of life and into a deeper interrelatedness with each other and our real historic conditions.

When he says, "Either you are with us, or you are with the terrorists," the simple hearer might take those words at face value and imagine they represent some sort of actual reality or correspond to a clearly identified US policy. As if yes could mean yes and no, no.

"We do not torture" would mean we do not torture. "No war plans on my desk" would have a clear and direct meaning. But that understanding would merely be superficial. If that were the case, officially declaring Syria a sponsor of terrorism could mean something like we would not send a Canadian citizen making a stopover at JFK to Syria to be tortured. Is that what we want- to passively accept assumed meanings like some type of machine simply receiving input?

MY PRESIDENT is extending an invitation; he wants us to think deeply and grow beyond the convention of words and the limited conditions through which we perceive the world. He wants us to be more than cogs or processors and join him in creating meaning and crafting our reality. FREEDOM is definitely on the march, but not only from "Cairo to Kabul;" he invites us to free our minds as well.

If we accept his offer, not only are we freed from the prison of convention and imposed meaning, but we are suddenly bound to each other in new and exciting ways. We become members of a free and genuine community of our own making.

I'm An Alligator, I'm a Mama-Papa Coming For You
No Shuffle Play:
The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust- David Bowie

Defenestration is Fancy For "Toss Out a Window"

An Active Martyr Devotion
When we're killing for Christ it's important to remember it's not just the heathen that has to be killed. Oh it's important, but they're a steady outside threat that is easy enough to identify. When we need to round 'em up, we can easily spot them by their swarthiness, their funny hats, accents, or beards; and if it's too hard to spot them on the street, we can just wait until they gather to worship their false gods and collect them then.

Never forget, as dangerous as "they" are, there is a greater threat from the inside. Those who would claim to stand among us are a cancer in the Body of Christ. And like cancer, it often takes extreme measures to remove this threat. If we look to history as our example, we see there is as great a threat from those who would claim to be with us as there is from the outside.

We must be willing to examine our own communities and identify the Judas. Who is it that would threaten Christ from within our fold? That's a tough question, luckily we are surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses who possessed a great purity of vision and purpose.

Today's Active Martyr (that's what we'll call them) is Jan Zelivsky.

This Hussite preacher so loved the Lord and hated the corruption of the Church, he led his congregation to storm city hall and throw the city council from the upper windows and onto spears below.

Bold enough in itself, this move soon prompted the Hussite Wars wherein the Hussites were known to not take prisoners, preferring to shoot horses out from under mounted cavalry and then showering the heavily armored but immobile knights with musket fire in the streets.

They eventually got what they wanted: to celebrate with bread and wine.

Heavenly Father, give us a passion for your church. Let us act with boldness and zeal for the sake of Your Bride's purity.

That's Great But It Costs 250 MP to Use

Yahoo News story about a cloaking device.

Peter in The Garden

"Even if I must die with you, I will not deny you."
And behold, one of those with Jesus stretched out his hand and drew his sword, and struck the slave of the high priest, and cut off his ear.

Maybe this is the zenith of Peter's career. We don't hear of him doing anything like this again, but whatever it was that subsequently stole his passion for Our Lord, we still have his early example.

He wasn't a soldier, or even an independent contractor trained in special interrogation techniques, still we see he was willing to do what he could- blooming where he was planted, if you will.

Maybe you're worried that you don't have anything to offer. You're not old enough to buy a gun; you're too little to beat anyone up; all you have is a lead pipe or a tube sock full of rocks. Look to Peter. In the face of superior numbers and weapons he did what he could. What can you do?

Dear Lord, when I feel small and overwhelmed, when I'm afraid and hemmed in by a great enemy, give me the courage to act.

Now I Get It...

I think it rather stupid when someone looks to the past and says it was such a better time. Especially as it regards the collective morality of the country- our country, that sentiment is stupid. Well, it's stupid as far as an historical or moral perspective are concerned, but it may be a very smart way to alienate someone. Depending on who says it, it could mean, "Things were better before you showed up," or "Boy, wasn't it great when your people knew their place?" or, "I sure wish I could hire a 5 year old to work in my textile mill." Sure it works for those times when you want to make someone feel unwelcome but it's just not true that "things" were better in the past.

And...

... We can hardly overstate our bias for the present. We have an overwhelming preference for right now. That makes sense; after all, it's when we are. But it's limiting. I don't mean what MY PRESIDENT and HIS apologists mean- that we are unable to see the "big picture-" that 200 years from now, no one will remember the dead Iraqis and Americans or tortured Muslims and so everything will be okay. I mean it's easy to forget that people anywhere or anytime have ever thought differently. And if we do remember, it's difficult (impossible) to understand that thought from outside of our own thought.

So...

... I don't think there really is a sense of moral understanding that transcends right now. When we talk about the past being better, it's often a cudgel.

But...

... We can still look to the past for examples and for a bit of clariity. To wit, our present values distort our perspective on those questions of torture and fundamental human dignity. I guess I should be more clear when I say "our," especially if it suggest there is a single "our" or unitary "value." So broadly speaking, I guess I'm addressing me, or anyone like me that is deeply troubled as a disciple of Jesus or as an advocate of the public. Whether we are looking at it as a representative of the state or as disciples of Jesus we might be stuck in the present. As such we do not have the ability to see how what is being done may be perfectly compatible with or required by state or church values. We may need to look to the past.

We've forgotten what it means to kill for Christ. Not just kill, but mutilate, humiliate, ruin, make destitute. I don't think it does any good to say, "I'm a Christian and it's sometimes okay to kill people... or rip out their fingernails." That kind of equivocation is worthless. We have the example of a time when we could confidently say, "I am killing you for Christ;" "May the smoke from your searing flesh be a fragrant offering to my Lord;" "I throw you from this window in the name of the Prince of Peace." It worked before, we need to dust off that sentiment and see how it works today.

Perhaps it's time we add to the catalogue of martyrs those who were bold enough to kill for Jesus so we can remember things weren't always as confused as they might feel now.

I'll do it. If I can begin posting with any kind of regularity again, I will highlight heroes of the Church- those we can look to as shining examples of Christian fortitude and zeal. Let's start with: Peter in the Garden

Why Didn't Somebody Tell Me This Before?
Blue N' Boogie- Dizzy Gillespie
Go With the Flow- Queens of the Stone Age
1979- Smasing Pumpkins
Whatever Happened to Pong?- Frank Black
Seventeen- Sex Pistols
Bird Dream of the Olympus Mons- Pixies
Take Me Out- Franz Ferdinand
You are the Sunshine of My Life- Stevie Wonder
My Descent Into Madness- The Eels
Underture -The Who

Our Three Weapons are Fear, Surprise, and Ruthless Efficiency

Today, some clergy gathered a short walk from the White House to protest a policy prohibiting federal representatives from specifically praying in Jesus' name. It's described as "an 'escalating crisis' over chaplaincy prayer policies."

In the White House itself, MY PRESIDENT signed into law the Military Commissions Act of 2006- making it so "some individuals, at the designation of the executive branch alone, could be picked up, even in the United States, and held indefinitely without trial and without any access whatsoever to the courts" and "permit an individual to be convicted on the basis of coerced testimony" and even "allow someone convicted under these rules to be put to death." Well, that's what Russ Feingold says it would do- but he's a Democrat. And even though that is, in fact, what the law allows, he's probably just politicizing the issue.

Really, trying to make MY PRESIDENT look bad by explaining what this law actually does when MY PRESIDENT has already vaguely justified it, saying it's for saving Amer'can lives. Have you ever seen anything so low?

Well I was going to piss and moan, but I quit. How could I be right. I can hardly find any Christians who see anything wrong with this- I found myself more in agreement with the Jewish Russ Feingold than our Christian PRESIDENT. Shouldn't that be a red flag.

So, for my first act on the winning side (is it my first act...? I think I've pretended to quit before... I can't recall) I would like to offer a prayer- as a sponsor of the state, and of course since Christians are protesting for the right to do so, it must be in Jesus' name:

Lord and source of Love, we ask in our time of dire need that you would protect and guide our hands that interrogate our enemies;
We ask that Your blood would wash and seal us from the blood of those who oppose us.
In the name of the Prince of Peace, bring us victory in the form of actionable intelligence.
And in Your Holy and Life-Giving Name we ask that You make our enemies our victims,
So that Your name might be glorified through all the earth and that all may know, as we act in Your name, that Jesus is Lord.

I've Already Bought a Boat, Suckers

Dear Dr Samailla,
I get it- my cousin (wink) died in Liberia. Excellent. I have a lot of cousins, too many to count, so this is plausible enough for anyone casually interested. The other two questions remain unanswered though. I am willing to budge a little bit on the numbers, maybe a 75-25 split can work, but have decided I must be firm on insisting that I be paid with a large novelty check. Please respond to those two points in your next message.

I am ready and have arranged myself to follow normal banking procedures for perfection. And like you, I can't wait to see the reaction of the bank. You have my highest trust- and more than 100% attention. Like our American professional athletes- I will give 110% for this payoff. Here is the information you requested, aside from a fax number- unfortunately, I do not have a fax machine- but I will soon enough. Get it? Because I'll be so rich, I'll buy one.

Name: skybalon
Age: 66 (March 10, 1940)
Occupation: Ass Kicker
Nationality: Amer'kin
Phone: XXX-XXXX


God bless you, and thanks for thinking of me. But don't forget about my concerns regarding our split and the check. I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely
skybalon

YES!! I Am So Rich

Dear Friend skybalon,
 
I'm very happy for your willingness to handle this transaction with me.For your information, every information about the deceased customer are intact, i will direct you on what to do after you apply to the bank, every documents will be issued to you by the bank before the fund will transfer to your account, don't be afraid because this deal is real and i agreed with you let us move ahead.
 
I contacted you to stand as the next of kin to the deceased customer and stand as the cousin so that the bank will release the fund to your name and move it to your private account in your country or any country you know that will be safe because it's God who directed me to you, I want you to please keep this transaction confidential until this fund get into your account.
 
Like I told you in my proposal that one of our deceased customer left this fund in our bank since almost five years now and no body has ever come for the claim since that time, that's why I have decided to contact you as a foreign partner to solidly stand on the claim as the next of kin so that the money will be transfer to your private account because the bank want to move the money into banking treasurer as unclaimed fund after five years which the five years will complete by ending of this year, please i don't want this money to enter into bank treasurer because i believe that this is the only opportunity God give me in the position i have in the bank. So i wouldn't like to lose it.
 
You must be ready and arrange your self because we must follow the normal banking process to perfect the smooth transfer of the fund to your account. I want the fund to be transferred to your account within (10 working days) I contacted you because i am not capable of handling this deal alone. Be rest assured that this deal is 100% risk-free. I promised to use my position in the bank to perfect the smooth transfer of the fund direct to your account after approval.
 
I have all information about the deceased customer all you have to do is to apply to the bank as the next of kin then let's see the reaction of the bank. I will send the application form to you which you will fill and apply direct to bank as soon as i receive your positive answer. I demand the highest trust from you and 100% attention to enable us get the money without any funther delay.
 
Meanwhile, Send to me your personal information's like, your name in full,Age,Nationality, Occupation, your private Telephone and Fax numbers also your personal picture photograph to enable me know whom I’m dealing with.
 
I am Looking forward to hear from you.
Dr Samailla.
+226 7657 5118

I'm Blogtarded

The internets and the type of communication it can foster seem sometimes duplicitous. Aside from hiding behind anonymous or false identities, we also say things that we know are not true. If I were ever to say LOL- I bet I would not actually be LingOL. Those of you that do use that particular expression I am sure are more often than not lying.

But here is something that did make me laugh out loud, and spit powdered sugar and filo crust on my lap and keyboard at the same time.

Sorry, you may have to watch a commercial to see it.

So the internets foster deception, and now that I think about, have us waste time making and watching things like this.

Everything's Coming Up Skybaloncont'd

Dear Dr. SAMAILLA NUHU
I am glad to hear from you, but I should say, I am not surprised at all. I have just finished reading the Prayer of Jabez and knew that something to "enlarge my territory" was bound to come my way.

It's curious that the Burkina Faso Chamber of Commerce would have my email address or that any of my kin would have been killed in Liberia, but we know the Lord works in mysterious ways.

I am very eager to participate in this transfer of funds but wonder why I only get 45% of the 25.6 million. It seems that I deserve more, especially since this is an answer to prayer and I am an American. I don't mean that I deserve more simply because I am an American. You should know, that the $6,000,000 or so I would receive after taxes is hardly worth anything in my country. I understand that from your perspective this might seem like a large sum. Well, I am happy to tell you it isn't. I could hardly achieve the measure of life and largesse I see out my window with only $6,000,000. A house alone could eat up more than half of that. It seems only fair then, that I get a larger percentage, perhaps as much as 85%.

Before you say, "No," consider how much 15% is worth to you given your country's per capita GDP. I bet nearly $4,000,000 for you would go further in Burkina Faso than the $7,000,000 for me in Southern California. I could try to explain the vagaries of our global economy or the "dollar a day" rule of my purchasing power versus yours, but I'm afraid there is just no real way for you to relate to such wealth. Let's just say the split you suggest is untenable. It's another one of those divine mysteries.

So, yes. Let's split that money, but before we do I have a few questions I hope you can answer:
1.) I am confused, am I really the next of kin or are we pretending I am the next of kin (wink)?
2.) Do you agree to the 85-15 split I suggested?
3.) Can we arrange that I be paid with one of those big foam-core novelty checks?

I apologize for taking so long to get back to you. Thank you for being an answer to prayer; I look forward to you answering my questions and me sending whatever sensitive information you request.

Sincerely
-skybalon

Everything's Coming Up Skybalon

From : DR SAMAILLA NUHU
Reply-To : drsnuhu1980@yahoo.fr
Sent : Saturday, October 14, 2006 4:03 PM
Subject : REPLY BACK IMMEDIATELY.

Dear Friend,

(I am DR SAMAILLA NUHU, From Ouagadougou Burkina Faso) I know that this letter may come to you as a surprise.I got your address through Burkina Faso chambers and commerce.I must apologise for taking some of your valuable time to explain a proposal, that I believe will be of utmost benefit to us. I need your help and urgent assistance in transfering the sum of $25,600 000.00 USD(Twentyfive Million,Six Hundred Thousand US Dollars)to your account immediately, the fund belongs to one of our foreign customer who died along with his surposed next of kin in a war zone liberia on 15/6/2001.

Our bank banking law and guideline stipulated that if such money remains unclaimed after five years the money will be transfered into the bank treasurere as unclaimed fund. The request of a foreigner to be next of kin in this business is occassioned by the fact that the deceased customer was a
foreigner and a Burkinabe cannot stand as next of kin to make this type of claim.

The five years will complete by ending of this year,that is why I as a worker in my department want to release the money to you as the nearest person to the deceased for safety and subsequent disbursement since nobody is coming for the claim because I don't want the fund to be transferred into Bank treasurere as unclaimed fund. I will give you 40% of the total sum for the provision of foreign account and 55%will be for me while 5% will be set aside for any mislenious expenses incurred during the business.

This transaction is 100% risk-free on both side and has no atom of negativity,for I have made all the required arrangement for the transfer of this fund to your account. Please I would like you to keep this transaction very confidential as you may wish to know that i am a Bank officer.

I will send you more details as soon as i get a positive reply from you.
DR SAMAILLA NUHU.
(Bill and Exhange Manager)

What The Hell Is Wrong With Us?

Really.

The title is not rhetorical. What better day to ask that than today? Well, I guess if you don't ask today, you still have tomorrow. But I wouldn't take it for granted. So how about today? What the hell is wrong with us? I can think of two things: pretending we're good and apologizing rather than repenting when we can no longer pretend. Oh I'm sure that's not all- but I bet confessing those two things would go a long way in clearing the brush towards others.

If you live under a rock, or are someone who avoids the media because you are too cool for TV or figure avoiding the media somehow preserves your soul (what are you doing reading this?) you may not know that a Florida Congressman has resigned amid evidence of sexually harassing (at least) children participating in the Congressional Page program. Now you know. There, you still get to live under a rock and stay cool (though reading my interblog is very not cool), however, I cannot speak to the purity of your soul. But at least you know.

I've heard a couple of people, almost gleefully, point out the irony of a man so wrapped up in issues of combatting pedophilia himself being caught as a pedophile. I'm sure that is ironic- or maybe "justice of the unicorn." But I don't know that the irony matters all that much- especially if pointing out the irony is some veiled way of saying "See, nobody should tell anybody else that 'such and such' is bad."

There does seem to be a weird phenomenon of people harping on that which is secretly killing them- I may secretly be struggling with being a closet Republican. Perhaps. That's something, but not what I particularly care about right now. Right now it's those other things that stand out to me.

At first, Mark Foley said questions about his emails and relationships with pages were part of a despicable and desperate attack by his opponent. Of course, as is the case in many instances of sexual assault, upon hearing the news, other victims felt emboldened to speak when they realized they weren't alone and someone else could go to bat for them. So more kids did come forward and Foley resigned. Foley resigned, offered a vague apology and said he has checked himself into rehab. That's great if he's an alcoholic, but what does that have to do with harassing Congressional pages? If I get drunk, I start talking too loud.

He's not the first alcoholic so that's a lame defense. Unless of course every alcoholic is also a sexual predator (just so you know- they're not). The move seems to be made for locating the responsibility for who and what he is somewhere other than with him- it's the booze. Even that doesn't understand what is at the core of 12 Step style rehabs- you're the problem- not the booze.

Where do we get this idea that bad actions somehow originate from someone other than our selves? Oh, that's silly, I have an idea of its origin. But I wish we could stop being confused about what it is to be good. I'm a good person, I just happened to use my position of power to stalk children, I'm a good person, I just bully the one person of color in the room, I'm a good person, I just lie a lot. And when finally caught- we have some sort of defense to offer: I was drunk, I didn't know a confederate flag meant that, I'm protecting your family, Matt. We offer an apology; not repentance.

The other thing is, it seems that many people in power knew Mark Foley was the Congressman to avoid in the page program. It seems that there is an understanding that there are a few congress-people you don't want to serve under. But for the sake of covering your own- or at least your party's- ass, people looked the other way. For the sake of team spirit, people looked the other way while who knows what was/is going on. For the sake of team spirit we call torture interrogation (ha ha I threw it in).

Again that horrible sensibility has reared its head: when we do it, it's okay; and if it's too horrible to even pretend it's not, then we'll just look the other way or give it another name.

So there we go. How's your soul? How is our soul? How's my heavy handed harangue? Ohh, how's my alliteration?

Oh, and Reading won.

If I Wasn't Upset Before... I Have a Bill Moyers Interview In My Podcast Queue
Something -The Beatles
The 59th Street Bridge -Simon and Garfunkle
Oye Como Va -Tito Puente
I'll Be Your Baby -Bob Dylan
Black Math -The White Stripes
I Like Food -Descendants
London Calling -The Clash
Flamenco Sketches -Miles Davis

But This One Goes to 11

My blogging is thin. The things I write are silly. That's okay, the things I want to write are being written by others. I accept that for now. It's for a time.

As for the silly-

I listen to music as I read and write. I listen to music on my computer. The music on my computer is rated. That is, I actually use the "My Rating" feature in iTunes. I have a lot of five star songs. That seems fine- I should have a lot of songs that I like. But I wonder of there is a bit of star inflation going on.

I think I have a high bar for determining wether a song will make it to my library. Maybe I do, maybe not. In either case I have songs that have only one star. Still they are songs I enjoy. I have songs that have no stars- even those are songs that I like to hear. (There are songs in my library I don't listen to- or like. I leave those unchecked so I don't have to hear them. Ever.) It would seem because I load only songs that I think are worth hearing, I wouldn't have any one or zero star songs. But that's not the case. I wonder if it should be. Compared to someone else's library, I would say my one star songs may be better than their five star songs. I don't know.

But the five star song- five stars seems like something that should happen only infrequently. How do I have so many five star songs? Is it because I like great music that inevitably so many of my songs deserve five stars? Because I like such great music, should there be an even higher standard? Should a great song be considered only a fraction as great because of its association with other great songs? I don't know that either.

What's more, if I make a five start playlist, I invariably hear a song that stands head and shoulders above the others. Should I reassess my ratings based on those songs? Should they be categorized as unratable? Still not knowing.

Even if it remains unresolved, this song deserves six stars: If There's Such a Thing as Love -The Magnetic Fields. If I were a better blogger I would put it here for you.

Monday's Been Busy Roundup

We wouldn't think of going without the bait-- uhh, that is, the bait-thing beauty. The bathing beauty! Heh heh. I covered that up pretty well
I rolled with some nogoodniks in junior high. Once, at a hotel, one of these jackanapes spit on the head of a gentleman below. When caught and confronted later, the first words out of his mouth were, "I didn't spit on your head." But if you remember back to the beginning of the story- he did spit on his head.

So you quote love unquote me
Someone has called all the chaos, destruction, and real dead people in Iraq a comma in the larger history of DEMOCRACY's unstoppable march. I would bet whoever said that is himself a colon.

I discovered a new band to like
He says they are inevitably compared to Ween and They Might Be Giants. That's cool. I like both Ween and They Might Be Giants. I discovered them, this means I get to do whatever I like with them- up to and including enslave them and give them diseases because I am so filthy.

What a Baby

You may or may not know that Virginia Momzer, Senator George Allen, (R- McGuire Woods, Skoal, Peabody Energy) has considered it an "aspersion" to make reference to his Jewish ancestry. Well, he did. That's too bad.

It's common knowledge in my family that at least 4 streams of ancestors, on both my mom's and dad's sides, were conversos. More than just making it acceptable for me to make jokes about dentists, it gives me good reason to be a pirate for Halloween. Hooray.

I am not trying to create a boot-wearing Good 'Ol Boy persona nor do I want to embrace a Southern Kultur that includes honoring racist holy war, terrorism, and oppression- nor the flag that symbolizes it. So of course I'm okay with my assumed Jewish ancestry- Allen is, so he isn't okay with his.

To be clear, I don't say all of "the South" is what Allen wants it to be, and apparently wants with a convert's zeal- a place where it's okay to point to the one brown person in your lily-white crowd and call him "macaca" (whatever that might mean), a place where you have to make a point of having "ethnic" supporters, a place where you can be a general asshole and confuse that for being a mensch. From what I've seen, as a place, the South is just another place. Sure it's got some things we don't: Cracker Barrels, sleeveless t-shirts, peanut candies, out of control Kudzu, lots of mounted fish- and more of some things we do have: depressing poverty, scary hyper-Calvinism, humidity, Dr. Pepper. But none of those things make George Allen a jerk. He would be, he was, that in California. We have Denny's instead of Bob Evans, but that doesn't mean we are in short supply of racist, thuggish, mean-spirited jerks who would be more than happy to create a California that is as much "the South" as Alabama is assumed to be.

Oh- a funny joke from back in the day-
One night, a preacher from Chicago wakes up with a start. He wakes his wife and tells her God just spoke to him in a dream.
He says, "God spoke to me- as clear as anything has ever been in my life. The Lord told me to go to Birmingham and join the civil rights movement."
"Birmingham?" his wife asks.
"Yes." he answers.
"Well, did He say He'd go with you?"
"He said He'd go as far as Memphis-"

Eh- so what's my point- George Allen is a jerk and wants to foster and live in a culture that makes it easy for him to be so.

But there's more than that. Am I thinking about identity? Am I thinking about communities that thrive on and foster meanness? Am I wondering if we gravitate to communities according to our temperament and therein play a role? I guess so.

I am wondering what my community is and what it says about me. There's a lot that will seem dissociative about this, but I wonder about me and my community- What choices I've made, the assumptions I miss. Whether I fit or don't and if either is a fiction. That it's important we be EFCSW, not Yearly Meeting. That we today could not create a place to represent our collective sense like Quaker Meadow- as was done 60 years ago. How and why I fit into a larger group that can fittingly be described as, and seems to earnestly pursue the identity, shallow and earnestly "product oriented."

It's 'Cos I'm Shallow & Product Oriented
Knives Out -Radiohead
Many Rivers to Cross -Jimmy Cliff
Chubasco -Juan Garcia Esquivel
Misterioso -Tito Puente
Thank You -Descendents
Gordon's Message -Violent Femmes
Achille's Last Stand -Led Zeppelin

The Heyward Foundation

Jam-maker F Duerr & Son has debuted a commemorative £5,000 pot of marmelade made from rare whisky and champagne and decorated with edible flakes of gold.

via BOING

Did you know you can't taste gold?

Talk To Me, Goose

U.S. Sen. Russ Feingold is accepting applications for nominations to the U.S. Military Academy, U.S. Naval Academy, U.S. Air Force Academy and U.S. Merchant Marine Academy.

Interested students should contact Feingold's Middleton office at 608-828-1200 for application materials

WISCONSIN POST-CRESCENT

WAIT A MINUTE!

I thought Russ Feingold hated America as much as I do. What's the big idea in training another generation of stormtroopers? Unless...

Of course! As Bill O'Reilly says... or is it Sean Hannity? I'll say Bill Hannity. As Bill Hannity says, there is no place more liberal than Wisconsin. People in Wisconsin commune with Satan. Who better to subvert the military than horned cheese-heads?

When I was in junior high my dad was big into the idea of me going to a service academy. My dad was all over writing Alan Cranston and getting me a nomination, and when Top Gun came out- boy was I into it too. I mean the snappy uniforms, showers, and oiled-up volley ball- who wouldn't want that?

Then, during my sophomore year of high school I learned trying was for chumps. Oh well.

Ahh... but Feingold can see the big picture...

You know what? I may think I'm real cute with my Frequently Feingolds, I may think I'm making good points about the stupidity of some of the attacks leveled against liberals. I may think I'm cleverly highlighting good things about him. But even if I succeed in any of that, it seems like I'm trying to maintain a certain distance from him so that, should a shoe drop, I can feign detached interest and say something like, "Well I never really liked him anyway- not like all those other suckers."

I'll keep doing the Frequently Feingolds, but know I like him and I will be very sad if he does something untoward. I expect anyone to do something I don't agree with, but I mean if he does something that disturbs me regarding who he is inside- like Mc Cain did with radical cleric Jerry Falwell, it will be a shanda fur die goyim. At least. So, that said, where was I?

Oh yes, Russ Feingold can see the big picture and is looking to destroy the machine from the inside.

And That Which Has Been Done...

Usually my posts seem apropos of something. Why did I mention Augustine and Emergent Hipsters?

Well...

A couple of school chums and I were having a casual conversation about God and such, when in response to something one of them had said, I said, "Oh, pantheism." And in unison they said "No, its panentheism." I never heard of panentheism. Pantheism I knew.

Pantheism is the idea that God and everything are the same. If you take the sum of everything, and put it in a big pile, there's God. Does that seem to glib? Okay, sorry-
Pantheism literally means "everything god." It is used in reference to systems wherein God and Nature, or more clearly, God and the Entirety of the Universe are identical. God is the substance of all creation. So here's a part of God, this is a part of God- I just made another little part of God re-manifest - and again- now part of God is an X, now a J, over there a piece of dog food, there a fly, here some cheese, a piece of tortilla, high fructose corn syrup, a 2x4, tar paper, laminate flooring, the potassium in my brain causing electrical impulses, asbestos, water vapor, poop, some cancer, cat hair, bubbles.

I happen to think the universe is the universe and God is God. I think God's presence is not bound up in matter though God is present in creation. So matter changes but God doesn't ((bleeep blop blorb)) even though God causes the motion and effects we see. ((steam whistle sound, lights blinking)).

Panentheism sounded made up. But everything is made up at some point so I bit.

"What's panentheism?" I asked. (Now that's a pretty bold move on my part- most of the time you don't want to reveal what you don't know to other students- especially students from other programs. It makes it seem like they know more than you.)

Well, what my classmates were trying to explain to me is the presence of God in everything that allows us to seek God apart from dogma, the limits of our traditions, etc... Panentheism means God is in everything. Only they explained it as pantheism. They had just learned about panentheism which is why they could jinx each other with the "No, its panentheism" bit, but not explain it as such.

No thanks to them, I later discovered one Sallie McFague coined the term to say "Everything that is, is in God and God is in all things and yet God is not identical to the universe, for the universe is dependent on God in a way that God is not dependent on the universe."

Well, welcome to the conversation these millennia later. Don't feel bad- I do that all the time. It's cool.

Exene Cervenka Is A Woman
Uncle John's Band -Grateful Dead
La Donna e Mobile -Luciano Pavorotti (irony)
Trouble Is a Man -Sarah Vaughan (more)
Johnny Hit and Run Paulene -X

Outside the Box- Is Another Box

Among Emergent Hipsters it's popular to not appreciate Augustine. I think it comes from the vague obligatory fondness of some reified mystical "East" whose otherness affords it a bit of a free-ride. It seems among disaffected Western Christians there's the hope of finding something refreshing for the soul- something that hasn't been made mechanical and lifeless by familiarity and rote habit- in the Eastern Church. That may be naive but I don't think it's wrong. Though, it does remind me of a Monty Python sketch wherein a poet father refuses to stand by while his son ruins his life chasing his dream of being a coal miner.

Ha ha ha.

Anyway, being a Latin Church Father, Augustine is on the outs with the mystical, broad-minded, free range "East."

Go figure.

That is, figure it's more a function of church politics than anything else. True, there are things you find in Origen that you won't find in Augustine, and things with Augustine that you won't find with Origen- like testicles. (And how). But if you're looking to avoid dogma and take it or leave it tradition, your journey does not lead to the East. Unless by "East" we mean some idea so wrenched from history that it means whatever we want it to mean.

Of course there is a lot to turn you off in the West, as there is in any tradition. I find plenty objectionable in Augustine's writing. But unfortunately, I am tragically unhip (again with the loser talk) so the source of my distaste for some of his work does not come from being a thirty-something disaffected Evangelical searching for refreshment in something outside of what I know and so assuming that I ditch Augustine for that ride. I guess that makes me a bit of a poseur. Oh don't get me wrong, I am a thirty-something disaffected Evangelical, but I think the perennial mistake, or tragedy of our soul's searching, is the mistake Augustine makes when he turns to what I find problematic. It's the outward gaze; it's the move to compare our selves with some external measure of faith rather than seeing and confronting our self as revealed by God's light.

The parts of Augustine's Confessions that might be called devotional (only because we think of theology as building vast unifying systems) are lovely and hopeful, especially in their honest appraisal of who he is as God reveals it to him. He writes that way elsewhere too. But not often enough, and he is prone to thinking in tedious and unfaithful ways. Then again, so am I. Still, he can remind me it's not in what we search or the systems we erect in our limited knowledge. It's in how we are searched and what God makes of us that is meaningful.

Tu autem eras interior intimo meo et superior summo meo.

Latin! Isn't that the language of patriarchy, High Church Stuffiness and the fake Bible?! I know, can you believe it? But there it is.

God is more present to us than we are to our selves; our journey is necessarily, but not naturally, inward. It is not to a tradition from East or West that we imagine is more relevant or to a time in our history imagined as more authentic. It is to a place where we stand before God.

If someone needs to take a step away from the familiar to see this- if that's what it takes to see our home is not in the traditions of an East or West but is in Christ- well then that's a fine move I suppose. Only, I don't know that the step outside of the familiar leads directly home- even as we are stuck feeding the pigs, it is only after we see our own condition that we begin to sense where we belong.

Hey! My iPod Doesn't Glow and Leave Light Streamers!
You and Whose Army? -Radiohead
At Least That's What You Said -Wilco
The Wind -Cat Stevens
Fiddle Riddle -Frank Black
Wild World -Jimmy Cliff
Is This Love -Bob Marley
Elizabeth on The Bathroom Floor- Eels
Sweet Talkin' Woman -E.L.O.
It's The End of The World as We Know It -R.E.M.
Take The A Train -Dizzy Gillespie
We're Going to Be Friends -The White Stripes
Subterranean Homesick Blues -Bob Dylan
Lithium -Nirvana

I Wash My Hands, I Wash My Face, I Wash My Arsenal

Ever the loser, I selected Reading for my team to care about in the English Premier League. Well, I guess if I were really a loser, I'd have picked Sheffield. Or I wouldn't like soccer at all. I suppose picking Reading still makes me a bit of a frontrunner. That was my fear in picking a team, which is why I didn't pick Arsenal. I like Arsenal- but secretly. I like the international make up of the club. I like the weird statistic that they have the most ethnically diverse fan base in England. And it doesn't hurt that they are good. Yikes- Lehmann just took one in the face!

So Reading. It might be self-deceptive to pick a promoted team with an incredible streak as an underdog. They keep winning. They have made me very happy so far. So the charge of frontrunner might still be made. Well, eat it, Swindon pig.

Not Cinco de Mayo

Cinco de Mayo is often just an excuse for late spring parties and a boost in Corona sales. It is not, however Mexican Independence Day. This is, in fact, the weekend for celebrating Mexican Independence.

Perhaps fittingly, this year's commemoration of El Grito in Los Angeles was corporately sponsored by Cingular Wireless.

Your Independence is Sponsored
Cold Sweat -James Brown
Let Down -Radiohead
Rock the House -Gorillaz

Liar, Madman, or Savior

I know it doesn't fit the type, but I really like the America represented by the highest ideals manifested in our founding documents. I know, I know, I'm a liberal. I'm supposed to hate America. I'm supposed to care more about ter'ists than Americans. I'm supposed to want us to be attacked, I'm supposed to want to tie the hands of our leaders so we lose the Ideological Struggle of the 21st Century. I'm supposed to "whatever the strawman du jour" is. I guess I'm a failure as a 'Merican and a hippy.

I know we confuse democracy with capitalism. I know many of the levers and avenues of power opt for an entrenched elite. Blah blah blah. Our Constitution, the Bill of Rights, and the Declaration of Independence are not perfect, nor is the Liberalism it represents, but the goal that we continually pursue and express this universal of freedom in concrete ways is quite an admirable model for government. Isn't that cool?

If you watched any of the president's Rose Garden press conference while you were getting ready this morning, you're a nerd. That's what I am. Maybe you're a nerd that was struck by a couple of things.

David Gregory finally asked the question that should have been asked long ago- the gist of it: What if others, Iranians or North Koreans for example, understood their laws to allow- in fact, wrote laws to specifically foster- the torture of captives? How would we like that? MY PRESIDENT gave an answer, but he didn't answer that question.

MY PRESIDENT seems to think freezing people, sexually humiliating them, and bringing them to the brink of drowning are how freedom is born. They are the unfortunate accoutrements of freedom's march- birth pangs indeed. I can understand this being acceptable if we were looking for witches- but bearing freedom? It doesn't seem fruitful.

MY PRESIDENT says he believes freedom is a universal idea. He says that a lot. Maybe being confused about what freedom is or not understanding the concept of a thing being universal is not lying, but it suggests one does not understand what is true.

The "President Lied" horse is dead and stinks. It is not moot because it is not true, but because those who understand it have seen enough evidence and those who don't will keep looking for the pony. His mendacity seems to go deeper than the words that come out of his mouth. As we know, this could only be the case; what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart.

Oh well, if you are a local reader and have time this Fall you should- could- help out with the Pomona Hope Community Center. If you have no other talents beside regularly showing up, there's a place for you. If you are particularly gifted in something like reading, tutoring, basketballing, watching people eat, computering, arts and crafting, there's a place for you there as well. The after school program resumes on September 25 but other things go on there also.

Maybe, if you go, you'll meet me there and see that I'm a lot less complainy in person.

I changed "as well" to "also." -ed.

Angry or Mopey?
Bullet In The Head Rage -Against the Machine
Pictures of You -The Cure
Half a Person -The Smiths
Damaged People -Depeche Mode (I have this in here?!- it kind of sucks)
All Along the Watchtower -Bob Dylan
Dynomite -Rhymefest
Piss on The Youth -The Briefs
Let's See Action -The Who
Mayonaise -Smashing Pumpkins
Son Abajeno -Mexican Mariachi Band
Island In the Sun -Weezer

Oh, He's That Guy

There used to be a bit of conventional wisdom that said so what if Bush wasn't brilliant- he's just a regular dude (who went to an East Coast prep school, Harvard and Yale, came from a bazillionaire family, whose Grandpa was a Senator, and dad was director of the CIA- just like you and me) who you would love to just kick back and have a drink with. I say used to 'cause I bet it's changed to something like: "Okay, so he's not the sharpest tool in the shed. He just seems like someone you'd want to share a drink with...

... and then punch in the face."

Maybe it's the job.

Don't Like The New iTunes
E-Pro Beck
Farewell Ride Beck
Do Ya ELO
War Pigs Black Sabbath

Stick It to The Man

I did some traveling this Summer. I went from one end of this country to the other (top end to bottom) and during that whole time saw only one Hummer. It seems I can't go a day here without seeing 10. I get it, you're rich and don't care about anything but yourself. Move on.

Similarly... kind of, I was in some very conservative parts of the country, I saw very few Bush Cheney stickers on cars. It makes me wonder what's going on with people around here. Why do so many Glendorans need to display their fealty? Are they more loyal, or less loyal so they're compensating? Do they imagine they are protesting something- it's a stick in the eye to anyone who drives too far east on the 210? Is it out of guilt for having a gay Congressman? Are their lives so devoid of meaningful relationships they yearn for even the shallowest connection that comes from knowing glances shared at an intersection? I dunno.

I do know I was in Cape Girardeau, a town on the Mississippi so conservative they're naming a courthouse after Rush Limbaugh... well a Rush Limbaugh- one that didn't take Oxycontin or Viagra while on sex tours in the Dominican Republic- anyway- I don't remember seeing a single Bush Cheney or W'04 sticker while I was there. And I was looking.

I wonder if these prominent external displays of identity are meant to make up for internal confusion. You know- so many teenagers work so hard to identify what they are externally because they are uncertain about who they really are, who they want to be, what they are becoming, etc. They're still learning how to look critically at themselves and fumbling with ways of distinguishing themselves from what they might see as imposed identities. Maybe there's a bit of that going on here.

Or maybe, more like pre-teens, some people see certain stickers as a mark of approval from authority.

Good Job.

Anyway, I returned home on one of the last flights- for who knows how long- that allowed carry on luggage and liquids. I suppose I could go on about the irony of surrendering so many of our freedoms to people whom we are told hate us because of our freedom. I suppose I could write about how it was good old fashioned police work and not an Imperial Crusade or airport screening that caught the alleged would be bomb-makers. (Though how "alleged" and how "would be" seems to be less than crystal clear.) But I'm sure other people have done that... probably a while ago by now. Still, with that I wonder how long before a would be bomber tries to board a plane with a stick of dynamite in his butt. Won't that be nice?

What- Yellow Ribbon Car Magnets Aren't Good Enough For You?

A Senate-passed plan to create a liberal leave program for those taking care of the children of deployed U.S. troops appears to be dying because a key House committee chairman believes it is unneeded...

Sen. Russ Feingold, D-Wis., is the chief sponsor of what he calls the Military Family Support Act, which passed the Senate by voice vote and is now being discussed by House and Senate negotiators who are trying to write a compromise version of the defense bill...

The proposal is facing difficulty with House negotiators after Rep. P. “Buck” McKeon, R-Calif., chairman of the House Education and the Workforce Committee, said he opposed the Feingold plan. Because McKeon’s committee oversees labor law, he has virtual veto power over whether the proposal makes it into the bill because he would have to waive his committee’s legislative jurisdiction for it to be approved.

Steve Forde, communications director for McKeon, said the congressman “absolutely sympathizes with the families of our deployed men and women around the globe” but doesn’t believe the Feingold plan is needed. “The fact is, employers currently have — without congressional action — the ability to allow workers to use leave in this way,” Forde said.

ARMY TIMES

Hey, I remember these- the Frequently Feingolds. Do I remember how to approach them though? Do I pretend to be critical of Russ, writing something about this being a cynical pre-presidential campaign ploy? I mean really- sponsoring a pro military family bill he knows won't make it through the Republican House is so transparent. Have you no shame, Russ?

Or do I write something like: Flex time for babysitters seems a reasonable suggestion if we truly are in the decisive "Ideological Struggle" for the 21st Century- as MY PRESIDENT says we are? After all, I'd hate to finally lose this struggle for hegemony over something as silly as baby-sitting... Since everything else about it seems to be going so well.

I can't quite remember. Maybe I should take a less tactful approach and write something about these family members knowing what they were in for when their loved ones signed up. I mean where would they get the idea that military service was a walk in the park? Baby-sitters indeed!

Well, with practice I should get my stride back soon.

So [I] Must Become Derelict

Really- you have to resort to name-calling... or perhaps apt identification? If you miss me that much you should draw me from my dormancy with affection and flattery. Not that it would work. I am only saying that is what you should do- or have done in this case.

Still- I would only emerge from my sleep when the time was right. Apparently that time is now. I can't say why exactly the time is right. Some convergence of Puto's status change, Steve Irwin's death, Suri's revelation, the commemoration of the World Trade Center attacks overshadowing the celebration of the emergence of Satyagraha, Project Runway's elimination of Vincent, my thriving pepper plants, the lengthening shadows, the cooler evenings and so many other things stewing together and bubbling over into a return to my blog.

And what of me? What was I up to throughout my summer hiatus? You'll have to be satisfied with the broadest strokes.

I grew a beard.
I discovered there is a place called Big Bone Lick.
I learned Brown is a color some of America cannot yet categorize but responds to within a range from bewilderment to fear.
I joined the iPod'd class.
I became big in Japan.
I saw there are at least enough Bible wax museums in the Midwest that one has to distinguish itself as the largest.
I saw that some churches in the South have been designed and decorated by Siegfried and Roy on a cocaine binge.
I learned L' Oreal Paris is made in Northern Arkansas, not far from the Remington ammo factory.
I suspect I know why people with the ambition and wherewithal to escape other parts of the country come to California and don't leave.
I overcame my fear of Cracker Barrels and developed a fondness for Waffle Houses.
I found there is a gap between what I care about and what might be communicated in a dissertation prospectus.
I became a concrete universal to Serrano and Habanero chiles.
And more.

How's that for a pupal stage?