I'm a Proverbs 31:7 Husband

"P31 dolls are specifically designed to provide a Bible-based, Christian alternative to other secular toys on the market, and to encourage young girls to pursue biblical womanhood. Elisabeth stands 18 inches tall, has beautiful blue eyes, long blonde hair, and a contemporary outfit. Elisabeth comes with an accessory kit, containing a Bible lesson (based on Proverbs 31:20), two cookie-cutters, a cookie recipe, and a list of exciting activities."

Now that I know something like this is available, I no longer worry about daughters being raised by dads with Skin Industries shirts or mothers with those stupid stripper posed angel and devil window decals. Now all I have to worry about is the little girls who play with these dolls growing up to marry closeted homosexuals and getting a divorce after they've produced another generation of marriage-loving Christians.

But hey- there's at least one thing off of my list to pray about.

I'm guessing P 31 stands for Proverbs 31- as in girls should be raised to be like the woman described in Proverbs 31. I guess that because the doll comes with a Bible lesson based on Proverbs 31:20. Who knows what I'd be willing to give for a copy of that lesson?

Just to mention it in passing, is the blanched pallor of death skin tone really fitting for a girl who's supposed to be out planting vineyards?

An Open Letter, Ostensibly Addressed to The Guy In Red Robin Wearing a Skin Industries Shirt While Holding a Three or Four Year Old Girl, But Possibly- Obliquely Addressed to God

If you've given it any thought at all, I bet you imagine that your daughter is too young to think anything of the Skin Industries logo on your t-shirt. It's entirely possible that it goes unnoticed by her. She may not be able to articulate what the image is, let alone what it might mean. She may eventually have no conscious memory of this shirt, but as it's been said about things like this, "All in all, it's just another brick in the wall." Someday, just like you, she might think strippers are cool. Or maybe she'll just smother herself in the hyper-sexualized caricature of "woman" that you've made the wallpaper of her life. This is how we create the things we do without thinking. This is how we create people who internalize and gladly participate in their own destruction.
But then again, I don't- I can't have any children so I'm probably talking out my butt.

Everyday It's Something Hits Me Oh So Cold

Only one post since July 1st? Really!? What else could I have been doing that mattered more than this? I hope I've at least been watching a lot of TV.

Nothing Bad Ever Happens To Me

Hola, amigos, I know it's been a while since I rapped at you but I've been trying to mellow out.* I've been trying to mellow out in a couple of ways. As avid readers may remember, I have been troubled by developments in our Yearly Meeting cum Annual Conference- specifically, by the content of the tellingly not infamous Who We Are pamphlet- and generally, by the communal context that overlooks, let alone, embraces it. I am troubled because it represents a shallowness of hope and thought and because it suggests that I'm a creep. I'm a weirdo. What the hell am I doing here? I don't belong here.

It's probably not necessary to go into what is WRONG with the pamphlet... Do I mean that? WRONG? I do- though not in a sense that someone is saying red is green. Nor is it a case of someone saying strawberry is the best flavor for ice cream. I mean I cannot find my place in it now and if it truly represents who we want to be then I cannot share that goal. It's WRONG in that sense.

But I've already said that. What I haven't said, or haven't explained, is that I am trying to mellow out. I've been asking myself why I care. I don't mean that in a nihilistic, it's all vanity way. I mean, what is it about this that makes me care? The best I've been able to get at is how do I care. Since I am concerned, how should I approach the issue? I shared these thoughts at our last Ministry and Counsel meeting (I think we're still allowed to call it that in our Annual Conference). They are helpful questions- queries- for me to always bear in mind for any type of congregational business. That's nice. Anytime I get at this issue, though, I am discouraged; when I confront myself at the heart of this concern, "Why do I care?" becomes, "Why should I care?" If it is not something that other people are concerned with, why should I bother? I don't mean this to suggest I should be apathetic. I mean, if this is what this community is about- how do I have a place in it? I've showed up to play football at a baseball field. How much sense does it make to suggest everyone else is wrong for wanting to play baseball- especially if others elsewhere are playing football, and should I join them, I could be made a better football player? I use the sports analogies because apparently that's what effective leaders do now.

The Blonde Buddha says I need to exhaust that line of thought. (Blonde Buddha is a much better interblog disguise than a lengthy palindrome.)

Maybe.

It also seems, when I ask "Why do I care?" that this becomes to me like a fight over paint color. It is easy to discuss why one shade is better than an other and feel like something is accomplished when we finally decide on a color but it's not the heart of who we are. It is not meaningless- we probably invest a great deal of meaning in colors, design, accessories, and structure. That's fine- we maybe should do that at some point. However, we will go on doing the things that we do- we will go on doing the things that really say, "This is who we are," no matter what colors the walls are. The color might say "This is who we want to be," but that it is something we can see as possibly contentious or meaningful is more revealing about who we are than the color we ultimately choose in the hope that it says, "We are a purple people- a people that values and strives to be purple." Purple might mean something- and be a thing to discuss and get just right in a certain context, but while we're talking about what it means to be purple and making sure we understand its implications it becomes for us more than a discussion; it becomes our meaning. Don't get me wrong- I believe it is important that what we can say is said clearly and if we are going to say this is "Who We Are" and want to be, we should be clear and thoughtful in it. But saying anything is just another thing we do. What we choose to think we could or should say about anything can say more about who we are than the words we think say anything. Some of it is embarrassing. Or less sympathetically, and perhaps more clearly, is this the equivalent of frat boys arguing the merits of Natural Light over Keystone? Once we're at that point we're finished, right? I feel that if I engage in this discussion I am losing a part of me- a part that feels that following Christ has to mean something more and be deeper than an appreciation for cheap beer. Maybe that window is closed.

It seems that a good number of the conversations that need to take place, or that I think should take place in our Annual Conference already happened in our Yearly Meeting... fifty years ago. The choices that led to the debate over Natural Light versus Keystone have already been made. Long ago, those who looked to "the young Negro students of our country"** as an example rather than a threat went someplace else. I wonder if a long time ago some made the decision to march on Washington while others stayed home. The ones who stayed home started running the shop and now I'm looking for something they don't sell. It's pretty foolish of me to ask for an egg if all they sell are scorpions.

So what is the energy for? Who does it help? Mellow out indeed.

And All The Terrible Things Happen Down The Road To Someone Else That I Don't Know
All Day and All of the Night- The Kinks
War Within a Breath- Rage Against the Machine
Martha My Dear- The Beatles
Little Ghost- The White Stripes
Come Into My Life-Jimmy Cliff
New Killer Star- David Bowie
Search And Destroy- The Stooges
Misery- Howlin' Wolf
Body Movin' The Beastie Boys
Laird Baird- Charlie Parker
Get It Together- The Beastie Boys
Narcolepsy- Ben Folds Five
Louder Than a Bomb- Public Enemy
Doll Parts- Hole
Tiffany Hall- The Coup
I Think I Smell A Rat- The White Stripes
Oh Lately It's Oh So Quiet- OK Go
Electro-Shock Blues- Eels
Another Tape Demo- Quasimoto


*If anyone other than The Blonde Buddha or The Loveshark valued my interweb games there would be a fabulous prize for anyone who identified the allusion in the title or the first line. But no one else does, so there will be no Village People albums for anyone.
**A real quote from 1960 YM.

My Neighbors Keep Setting Off Explosives (Fireworks) In Their Backyard. It Makes My Dogs Bark

I don't know if you heard this or not- last week some English speaking people were inconvenienced by a couple of... well not car bombs exactly... Car devices. Some English speaking people were inconvenienced by car devices. It was all over the news. If you missed it check the links. I wouldn't recommend you search "London Car Bombs." You'd probably get a bunch of information on the IRA and other stuff you'd have to dismiss as crazy. I mean, white people- well, Irish people- as terrorists? That's absurd. But these almost events were all the rage on the 24 Hour news channels, newspapers, and the internets.

Really... you hadn't heard?

Well, in London, quick thinking paramedics identified a device that was releasing some horribly unpleasant odors and smoke. Police immediately responded and this led to the discovery of another device that might have caused some serious temporary ear ringing if it had worked like a bomb rather than a smoke machine. Phew.

Elsewhere, Glasgow specifically, a car was set on fire and crashed into a building by someone that wasn't necessarily a drunken soccer fan.

These may seem like near misses or part of the Global War On A Concept to you, but I don't think this was terrorism. It all needs to be put into context. England just enacted a rather stringent smoking ban. Seriously. Doesn't it make more sense that these people were protesting the smoking ban rather than to accept that we're fighting "them" over here- albeit a "here" across the Atlantic?

Whatever the reasons, it sure was scary. I saw live footage of club employees being evacuated from work. They were so strong in their hounds tooth pants and cooking jackets- waving at the cameras from behind the news correspondents- bravely talking and laughing with each other.

Heroes really...

Oh and some more people were killed in Iraq or something.