Tonight We Dine In Hell...

... and talk about movies.

skybalon: It looked really cool but it was so over the top, I don't even know what it was about
Osama: That doesn't surprise me... It was about passion, and freedom, and being willing to die for what you believe in.
skybalon: Homoeroticism?
Osama: You see? This is why your people are weak, this is why you will destroy yourselves
skybalon: "your people?"
Osama: Yes, "your people." You believe in nothing. You're so cynical, and that's just a pathetic mask for your fear to care about anything or to keep you from seeing the extent of your moral depravity. You can't recognize zeal or are so afraid to attach yourself to anything that might have meaning you laugh at and attack those who believe in something
skybalon: Because we're not a comic book?
Osama: Fine- go ahead. This is your passion, making fun?
skybalon: Really- you're saying that 300 was about anything more than abs, blood, and a handful of boobs? It had nothing to do with passion, humanity, or even anything real. It was all about video game caricature and-

Tiffany: Hi, guys. Here's some refills
skybalon: Great, thanks.
Osama: Tiffany, could I get less ice next time? That would be great.
Tiffany: Oh, of course, I'm sorry- would you like me to get you another Sprite?
Osama: No- I'd rather drink this now- just remember for next time.
Tiffany: Sure. Your food should be right up
skybalon: Okay, thanks.

Osama: No one dies apart from Allah's will- so it is a shame to die cowardly. This movie is about the great reward for those who live and die for freedom and virtue- He would not allow their deeds to perish and this showed the greatness of their strength
skybalon: You're serious?
Osama: Yes-
skybalon: It was about freedom and virtue?
Osama: What? It showed us that those who are not willing to die for freedom are not worthy to live with it. It showed us-
skybalon: Come on-
Osama: I beg your pardon- I wasn't finished
skybalon: ...
Osama: It showed us the free man does not surrender to infidels and sinners. It showed us that without blood- no degradation or humiliation can be removed. It showed us that freedom isn-
skybalon: If you say, "Freedom isn't free." I'm going to vomit.
Osama: What- why?
skybalon: What, "why?" You're not saying anything. It's just like the movie- It's supposed to be inspirational or spine-steeling but it's just propaganda for chest waxing and puffy nipples. It's not about real freedom or strength- it's not even really about violence. And what you're saying is just as meaningless- you might as well just sit there and say, "freedom is good," and leave it at that.
Osama: Well it is good and I think this shows us how weak you are.
skybalon: Maybe. But what you're talking about isn't worth much. It's just a tossed off gesture like a yellow ribbon magnet, and you're just as shallow and weak as that is.
Osama: I'm shallow!? I'm weak!? I live in a cave- a cave! I've given up everything for my people's freedom. What have you done? What? Nothing!
skybalon: Settle down people are looking.
Osama: Good, I want them to look
skybalon: No- you don't-

Tiffany: BBQ Chicken Sandwich?
skybalon: Right here, thank you
Tiffany: Taco Salad- bleu cheese on the side?
Osama: Thank you
Tiffany: Can I get you anything else right now?
Osama: No, everything looks great, thank- El khara dah! Tiffany, There's Green Leaf in this.
Tiffany: I'm sorry...?
Osama: Do you put Green Leaf lettuce in a taco?
Tiffany: Oh, I see- I'm sorry, would you like me to get you something else or...?
Osama: No. I'd like you to answer the question- Do you put Green Leaf lettuce in a taco?
Tiffany: Uh... No- I guess not.
Osama: No you don't. If it's not in a taco, why would it be in a taco salad? I thought I was ordering a taco salad.
Tiffany: Of course, let me take it back and I'll get you another.
Osama: Yes please. And have it made right. Something like that really should be mentioned on the menu.
Tiffany: Absolutely. I apologize and I'll make sure it's out here as quickly as possible.
Osama: Thanks, Tiffany- you're terrific.

Osama: Next time we come here I'm just ordering a cheeseburger, In shah Allah.