Now Who's Laughing?

When I was a kid I wasn't afraid of monsters. First of all I was skeptical. Things like vampires, werewolves, zombies, etc... as monsters just didn't seem possible to me. I mean they had too much human in them to be monsters. If they were human, why couldn't we just live with them as weird humans? And if they were animals, albeit really violent aggressive animals, why don't we just live away from them or lock them out of our homes like we do polar bears and great white sharks? I guess this was before I had reached my literary menarche and didn't understand that the mythical function of these monsters was to bring the human and animal, the civilized and the violent, together.

Secondly, I didn't believe in all the special ways monsters needed to be killed. I didn't understand why vampires had to be staked and werewolves shot with silver bullets. It seemed too unbelievable if it couldn't be killed with a machine gun or bazooka. To my young mind, if it couldn't easily be destroyed, it couldn't easily exist.

But now... maybe.

I don't know if gargoyles count as monsters but you perhaps should be afraid of them. It turns out they are killing people. Well, at least one has killed one person.

American Cat Trees Bear

Maybe we should volunteer our cats when the Finnish dogs fail.

It's a wonder that headline makes any sense. I think, if you understand it, you're crazy.

You Know It's Gonna Be All Right

I like Russ Feingold. I like most of his voting record. I like that he seems to think governance isn't about making yourself or your friends rich. I like that his legislation doesn't seem to be calculated simply for reelection. I like that he can put a sentence together and doesn't remind me of a high school student giving a class presentation every time he speaks. I like that he is confident and articulate enough to be self-critical and show that understanding the complexities of issues requires thought and not platitudes.

I wish there were a party for him.

Russ Feingold Should Comment on The World Cup

So I've learned something from the "Even if we torture, we're not as bad as 'blank' crowd.

We may be the worst team in our group, but at least we're not as bad as Ukraine. Losing 4-0 to Spain, to Spain! Really, Ukraine were just awful. In fact, of all the countries whose names start with U, we're the best. So you don't have to resort to a "We're not the worst, we're not the worst, we're not the worst." You can still say, "We're number one (of the teams whose names begin with 'U'), we're number one (of the teams whose names begin with 'U'), we're number one (of the teams whose names begin with 'U')."

Oh Right...

It's time for a simple game of matching. See if you can guess who said the following things about the death of Al-Zarqawi. If you're good at identifying and deconstructing tropes, I bet you'll do just fine.

I commend our military forces for their success in targeting Abu Musab al-Zarqawi. The death of this ruthless terrorist, who led an insurgent campaign of brutal suicide bombings, kidnappings and hostage beheadings in Iraq, is great news for the Iraqi government and the Iraqi people. It is also a testament to the professionalism and capability of the men and women in the U.S. military and the effectiveness of well-planned and targeted operations.

So who is this? It starts with congratulations though it's clearly setting up a "but." Whoever said this seems to want to make it clear that Zarqawi was a bad guy so as to not be left open to attacks from whatever corners might say something like, "see you hate America; you love terrorists and want to give them therapy." (Like anyone could really be that cynical or absolutely horrible). It kind of gives a back handed compliment to those in charge with that whole "well-planned and targeted operations" bit. Who do you think this could be?

This was a good week for the cause of freedom. On Wednesday night in Iraq, U.S. military forces killed the terrorist Zarqawi. The killing of Zarqawi is an important victory in the global war on terror. This Jordanian-born terrorist was the operational commander of al Qaida in Iraq. He led a campaign of car bombings, and kidnappings, and suicide attacks that has taken the lives of many American forces, international aid workers, and thousands of innocent Iraqis. Zarqawi had a long history of murder and bloodshed. Before September the 11th, 2001, he ran a camp in Afghanistan that trained terrorists -- until Coalition forces destroyed that camp. He fled to Iraq, where he received medical care and set up operations with terrorist associates.

Hmm... opening with reified values like freedom... mentioning September 11th and Al Qaeda... who does that... ? Connecting terrorism to prewar Iraq... who could this be?


This counts for my regular update on Democratic Wisconsin Senator, Russ Feingold... so that answers at least one of them.

What Will It Take for Americans to Love Soccer?

Have you seen this commerical? It's cute enough (especially the way these kids say Beckenbauer with a Spanish accent- ha ha ha, these kids don't know German). But I think there's more to it than that.

Note how it subtly addresses the issue of poverty. It squarely puts the blame where it belongs- on the shoulders of those who embrace a culture of poverty. These kids look perfectly employable. Instead of lounging about, whiling away the days of their youth, they should be working. Instead of playing with the ball, they should be in a dank, windowless factory sewing it together.

Speaking of the ball, don't people who choose to spend 130 dollars on a a toy deserve to be poor?

C'mon America, Adidas is reaching out to us- trying to meet us half way. Embrace soccer.

Vicious Austrian Bastards

If you spend anytime listening to the Christian Americana crowd, you would know that Europe is a vast wasteland of spineless, amoral, hedonism, and atheism set to be subsumed by the specter of Islam. Though the various lower rates of abortion, divorce, infant mortality, and higher marriage rates, life expectancies, growing churches, and better soccer teams throughout the region might throw your sensibilities for a loop, you could treat the dissonance with this: their animals are out of control, family destroying, border-defying, drug-hungry monsters.

It seems that some single mother bear has raised three savage cubs who are now wreaking havoc across Europe as fatherless children are wont to do. The European solution, as it has always been, is to retreat to jingoistic nationalism and send a pack of Finnish dogs after these bears so that humans can drug them.

Of course, after this, they'll have to send German goats to get the dogs, then Swiss cows to get the goats, and finally Spanish horses to finish off the cows.

So there you have it- the real Europe: broken families, violence, and drugs. Start calling the AM radio shows.

Lead, Follow, Or Get Out of The Way Redux a la The Frequently Feingold

Often leadership requires having a vision for things that others don't see and showing other people how much these things matter. This can be tough in a democracy with all our competing goals, agendas, and crackpot priorities.

Russ Feingold expressed this in an interview with his criticisms of both the current administration and the failure of his party to seem to stand for anything. Healthcare, national security, Constitutional governance, fair trade- why does he think anyone seems to care about this stuff?

The cynical might say he's simply padding his presidential campaign, but then the cynical would have to say that's what his entire political career has been. Oh well, I'm sure some will say that. I mean I tend to cynically think the talk about gay marriage and flag burning is only about access to power and not good governance but others think this is the only thing that will keep our families from going to hell in a handbag and matching shoes.

Maybe there's something to that- California's recognition of same sex marriages is up in the air right now. The courts will soon decide if our incompatible marriage will survive the gay onslaught. Gosh I hope so.

Lead, Follow, Or Get Out of The Way

Often leadership requires having a vision for things that others don't see and showing other people how much these things matter. This can be tough in a democracy with all our competing goals, agendas, and crackpot priorities.

While you're worried about fitting healthcare, fuel prices, higher education and what not into your budget, gay people are getting married and burning flags. While you think we might be discarding the Constitutional ideal of America or submitting to some type of default sanctimonious exceptionalism a handful of dead billionaires are threatened with the prospect of not being able to pass on the entirety of their mammon to their children. While a recent Gallup poll (subscriptions required) suggests these concerns don't show up on most people's radar, we can thank our visionary leaders for letting us know what a danger it is to letting gay people own dogs, have driver's licenses, go to school, buy a house, open a business, writing for newspapers, or any of those other things that we seem to think are legally protected and are foundational to our way of life.

So take it from the twice married and soon to be twice-divorced Britney Spears: "I think we should just trust our president in every decision he makes." Isn't that why God ordains our leaders and gives them the vision and authority to tell us what is important when we're too dumb to see it?

Crumbs From Your Table- U2
Fly Me to The Moon- Frank Sinatra
Birds and Ships- Billy Bragg and Wilco
Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring- Bach
Criminal Minded- BDP
Black Math- The White Stripes

What Really Matters

I've had some time to play World Cup 06 and here's what I look forward to:

I can advance with 7 points generally playing a 3-5-2 (some would call it a 3-4-1-2) with Mc Bride and Johnson (his speed destroys defenders hoping for a trap) as my starting strikers and Donovan behind them. Convey has been key in building attacks and Reyna's been good for breaking up attacks before they build. I just keep the defense tight in the back and actually finished with a clean sheet against the Czechs and Australia (that's who the game had advance from F). I beat Italy (1-2) with a goal in the last five minutes but drew against Ghana. I experimented with my formation and line up to see what other options I might have as I advanced. I think the draw was more a result of the line up than the formation though. I can't get Ching to do anything starting or subbing. Wolff has proved an okay starter and vindicated my coaching... sorry, my managing, by being a great sub and scoring.

I face Switzerland next.

Back to The Feingold

Oh here's something Russ Feingold goes for that I can't get behind:

Two Democrats who are thinking of running for president told New Hampshire party members they favor keeping the state's primary first.

Senator Russ Feingold of Wisconsin and former Virginia Governor Mark Warner were the keynote speakers at the Democratic state convention Saturday.

Ap via NBC News

I mentioned before that I think it's odd New Hampshire be such a key state in presidential politics. As long as that's the case it seems candidates will spend a good deal of time and money to do well in their primary so that they can build momentum and funds. But because it is that way doesn't mean it has to be that way.

Russ says he likes it that way because the state's size allows a good deal of intimate contact between voters and candidates. In a larger state you would have the nonsense and ugliness of campaigning via soundbites and media attacks. That's a good point, but again, it doesn't have to be that way, and to a.) be so unimaginative that you could not see an alternative to an ugly big state media war and b.) to pander to the New Hampshire voters through something as silly as their first primary pride seems a bit short sighted and disingenuous.

We'll have to see where St. Russ the Dragonslayer goes from here. Not that this is a huge issue- the New Hampshire primary that is, but what this represents. We'll see if that goes anywhere.

Speaking of Prophecy

This Friday at 6:30 we are having a Summer Kick Off Barbecue. If you can read this you are invited. You just have to let me know you're coming.

Here's where I live.

Here's a better map.

Watching Farmington?

In the interest of full disclosure I should tell you, I think God talks to me. I think I hear from God in different ways and one time in my life I thought I audibly heard a voice speaking directly to me. That sounds crazy to me. Also, at the beginning of every school year I would tell my students that by the end of the year, at least one of them would come to me crying, asking: "Mr [Skybalon] what do I have to do to pass the class, I'm not going to graduate boo hoo," and I would tell them at that future time what I was telling them then, "Here's what you can do to make sure you pass this class: do every homework assignment and I'm sure you will at least get a D." I was always right. I hear from God and I successfully predict the future, but that doesn't make me a prophet or what I have to say prophetic.

So today's the day, no not that day. It's 6-6-2006, not 6-6-6 so whatever else you were expecting, you might be a couple of thousand years late. Anyway it's 6-6-2006 and if you've been lurking about various Quaker message boards you know that today is the day that Farmington, Maine is going to go through its miraculous transformation. If you have been watching Farmington and planning your trip to America's New Jerusalem, this is the day you were waiting for. Conversely if you were skeptical and cynical about the so-called prophecies surrounding Farmington, you were also waiting for today- cleaning up your "I told you sos" and your "I knew you were crazies."

If you have no idea what I am talking about consider yourself lucky, but here's a rundown. Licia says she received a word from the Lord that Farmington, Maine was the place to be if you wanted to experience all the goodness God has to offer. For a while, a couple of the mail and message groups I read were overwhelmed with her prophecies and various objections to it. The arguments always boiled down to this: "Well do you have a specific verse from the Bible or a clear word from God that says this won't happen?... Then don't tell me anything." So there you go.

I had almost forgotten this "prophecy" was made until someone asked me what happened with it. Nothing as far as I can tell. The Farmington Maine homepage makes no mention of it... but then maybe something like that is something you want to keep secret and hog for yourself. Jerks.

It is at least refreshing that these "new world order" prophecies don't involve Ronald Reagan, bird flu, or subdermal microchips. Maybe that's why so few people believed it.

I happen to not believe the prophecy. I never got in on the debate, though. I originally thought the "prophecy" was a pretty good book promotional campaign and that's all the debate was for. There is a novel that accompanies the prophecy, but the "prophet" steadfastly maintains she is not just promoting the book but actually conveying a message she received from God. I think that it isn't true.

I think that something inside of me is telling me it isn't true, that it was a bad idea to encourage this because it is nonsense. But I had no "clear voice" tell me so and I sure couldn't cite any Bible verse that said it wasn't true, so what do you do? The thing is I do believe in prophecy, I do believe in hearing from God, I do believe in knowing what is true because of insight from God and, to me, that seems pretty sturdy. I expect the same to happen to other people but this particular bit of prophecy so called is nonsense to me. There are a number of reasons I see it as misguided, incorrect and possibly insane and it does not do or fit what I understand prophecy to be. But these reasons seem like they are "inside me" and nothing I say would convince someone who was inclined to believe the prophecy that it wasn't so. Even with clear, presumably authoritative words, reason, Biblical argument, pointing out what is being assumed or ignored, whatever, if someone wants to believe something or not, that's pretty much all there is to it. God wants you to have four spouses. God's leading you to get a divorce, God wants you to kill someone, God wants you to kill lots of someones, God wants you to put your finger in your butt*, God wants you to do whatever- I guess that's it. I don't know.

No Random Playlist This Morning
Living With War- Neil Young

*If you come to our Summer kick off Barbecue you can hear the story of the man who thought God was telling him to put his finger in his butt.

Since I'm Here

Russ Feingold mentioned something or other about running for president. We'll come back to that some other time.

Hello, It's Me, Lightning; Is There Anyone In There Praying to Not Be Struck By Me?

Fire officials think the lightning likely struck across the street from the couple's home and traveled into the house through a water line. The lightning continued into the couple's backyard and ripped open a small trench.

CBS News

All right, I've been gone a while, I'm presumptuously pretending you noticed. I still shouldn't be writing this even now; I have a couple of things I need to finish today. But some things can't be left alone. I don't know if this is one of those things, but I'm going to pick at it anyway.

It turns out a mom who was praying that her family be protected from a lightning storm was struck by lightning herself. "She said 'Amen' and the room was engulfed in a huge ball of fire." What can you say about that? Had she not been praying would she have died? Would her children have been struck rather than her? Would her house have burned down? I don't know... neither does anyone else. But more than that, I don't know what this means; nobody does. But that won't stop some from speculating and finding some type of meaning in it- and then declaring it definitively.

"The 65-year-old Brown said she is blessed to be alive." I agree with that. I feel blessed to be alive- even as I am aware of the suck that goes on around me. But I think I feel more blessed to be alive and not have been struck by lightning. I think I feel more blessed to be alive, not be struck by lightning, and not have a room in my house blown up. I feel blessed to not have a bolt of lightning chase me from across the street and knock me down so that no one in my family has to find me unconscious on the floor. If I was struck by lightning, I don't think I would feel blessed unless I came away from it with some sort of superpower. Maybe.

Maybe I don't know how I would feel about being struck by lightning unless I am actually struck by lightning. But I think I feel blessed to be alive, not living in Alabama, not being struck by lightning, having a lot to do...

Maybe Clara Jean Brown wasn't feeling blessed enough so she needed to be taught a lesson.