Tuesday, November 28, 2006

I Am What I Am- and You Am What I Say You Are


Last week sometime, Too Hot To Hoot* asked me about my cinematic man canon. I had to admit I don't have one, so I figure I should get right on making one. I guess it's not very manly to admit not having a man canon- and I guess my conception of manliness, and the men I know, make having a man canon difficult for me. But maybe it's something we can work on. Anyone want to work on my man canon with me?

That joke's probably not as funny as I think it is... oh well.

Funny or not, I do not have a list of movies that I say are part of being a man or relating to other men. There are movies that I think are "must sees" but I don't know how they relate to what I think it is to be manly. Even my estimation of what it is to be manly may need some work. It may be putting the cart before the horse, since I don't really have a sense of what is essentially manly- but I will create my canon. And since I am a man, it will be my Man Canon.

I think it'll be a work in progress. I may come back to it to add more selections... Boy I don't even get the idea of canon right, do I?

I don't know if the choices I make will have anything to do with my penis. Similarly, I don't think your disagreeing with my choices means you have a girl penis. Maybe. In any case here are movies I think you should see before you are dead, not necessarily because they are great, but because maybe you'll get more of my jokes if you do. You tell me if they are related to my penis and testosterone producing balls.

This should be some good filler since I probably won't be posting anything else until the end of the semester.

Here they are in no particular order:
Raising Arizona
I [Heart] Huckabees
Young Frankenstein
Magnolia
The Thief of Bagdad
SpongeBob SquarePants The Movie
Caddyshack
Life Is Beautiful
Pulp Fiction
A Night at The Opera
Fargo
Master of the Flying Guillotine
Zoolander
The Godfather I & II
Jaws
Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Raiders of the Lost Ark
Aladdin
Bottle Rocket
The Crimson Pirate
The Hudsucker Proxy
Ghost Busters
All Quiet on The Western Front
Moulin Rouge
A Very Long Engagement

Now that I've written this, it seems very manly. Maybe that stems from having some sort of objective list against which you are measured. Yes- I can judge you by some objective standard and see if you are good enough for me. How does that feel? I control you. From what I understand, if you don't like any of these movies, your penis will fall off- even if it's a girl penis.

I'm definitely going to make the list longer so the standard becomes more rigorous and gives me more control. Just you wait- I'll use my Man Canon as a bludgeon to beat you into conformity.

*Remember, I'm not allowed to use anyone's name anymore.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Good God you are such a quere. Where's Steel Magnolias?

Anonymous said...

What does Cyndi know about being anonymous online? Oh, I mean QueenBean. Maybe it would be better to mention names and not maps to your house. But you should use peoples names-it helps with search engines. What I am saying is you should link my name in every post.

Apparently the commenter above me is so straight they can't even spell 'queer.' I admire that, because I can spell 'gay sex' and not think twice about it.

I think you forgot Titanic.

Skybalon said...

Well, I never! The very idea that you think they wanted to spell queer is just too much.

I think they wanted to spell quiere-
I bet they were awkwardly trying to say I am very desirable.

Aaron C said...

Oh, Moulin Rouge, thats so manly. Part of being a man is being sarcastic about everything, and also hating romantic musicals.
Now there may be other men reading this saying, "I liked Moulin Rouge, the set designer did a fabulous job." Well those "men" need to check there pants again. *wink*

Skybalon said...

Do you mean because there might be another man in his pants, is that what you're suggesting?

that's what I was going to say at first, then I thought this would be a good one too

Moulin Rouge is absolutely a super manly movie because it shows how fickle and whory women are. Super real men hate women because they are so not men.

no wonder I don't have a man canon.