Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Their Father's Hell Did Slowly Go By


I know I am afraid. I am afraid of writing this post because it will make reference to my yet unborn kid and I do not want this to become a self-indulgent paean to masturbatory parenting. But here we are. She's not yet born and she comes up in three posts already.

Don't get me wrong- I know this is self-indulgent, I mean I don't want my child-rearing to be self-indulgent- or at least where and when it is I want to be able to deny it and it will be difficult if I degenerate into...

Little Gigi learned how to stare at fruit today. Oh her name is Gioi, pronounced Joy, but we call her Little Gigi. LOL.

So yesterday Little Gigi learned how to stare at a basket of fruit. It was just so beautiful. She's just such an amazing creature. Wow she just smiled, it's like she's just praying and thanking God for the fruit that He just gave her that she can't eat yet. I just watched her the whole time and it was just so beautiful.

Bible verse this, the Ezzos that.

Oh we just finished painting her nursery mural. The Ron DiCianni angel theme was just so beautiful.

Here's the full three hour video of her prayerfully staring at a basket of fruit. Watch it and leave a comment about how wonderful it is to watch it and leave a comment...

Prayer Requests: Please keep her future husband in prayer that he would just be such a Godly Man.

So kill me when it becomes that...

But on to the post I do want to write. I've already told you that I don't use toilet paper the way you probably do. It's worth repeating that I think my use of baby wipes to clean poop is better than using toilet paper but that the world we live in is not ready... Or perhaps it isn't that it's not ready- that suggests it may be simply a matter of time before we all have cleaner, baby-wiped (only not just for babies anymore) anuses, and it is not simply a matter of time. If we want a better, cleaner anus world, we have to work for it.

And that's the rub. [snickering offstage]

The point is, I already told you that I use baby wipes to clean my butt.

I am having a child. I know my world of clean anuses is better, but look around: itchy anuses, tissue paper, laxatives, standardized overeating, seat level toilet decks, blah blah blah... All is oriented toward this particular world of poo. I tell her, X is right but Y is what we do? Do I raise her to be clean or do I raise her to be normal? She won't believe in Santa Claus, a six-day creation, or heaven as a place, but there's enough openness in our world for difference on those points. We're talking about our poop life- something that clearly matters. There will be no accommodations [that's too inside] for her if she is not playing the dry wood pulp scraping the anus game.

Which is better for her- raising her to be well-adjusted to a world I know is wrong, or raising her according to what is true but has no place in the world beyond her?

It's one thing for me to be committed to what I know must be true. I have already struggled with the concerns and commitments about a clean butt. I am willing and able to come to terms with the difference I am to the world of dirty anuses. But can I ask that of a child? Should I set her up to be the freak who uses baby wipes? Is it right and good for her to be about her father's business?
___________

Hat tip to the Blonde Buddha for turning me on to Ron DiCianni. As I said before, I wondered what is born when a Footprints mug and Psalm 23 were incubated in Thomas Kinkade's colon. Before I knew only in part, now I understand fully.

This is called Praying for Peace by Ron DiCianni.

And one more thing- her name is not Gioi.

10 comments:

Bob Ramsey said...

Dammit, Skybalon, I was having a good morning until I followed your link to Ron DiCianni.

Oh.My.Goodness. That guy is an idiot.

And back to your broader point - while fervently wishing you would move on from discussing your anus - you'll find that the best parenting will frequently make you children "un-fitted" to the world, and even more sadly, it will often make them "un-fitted" for the Christian community.

Skybalon said...

I don't know how much you explored, but the Heroes Series is incredibly gut churning (of which the above is a part). I know it sounds as if I'm being maudlin or just trying to make a point, but these and their accompanying explanations actually make my stomach turn.
I haven't thrown up in over two decades but this brings me about as close as anything has: "The ultimate Peacemaker was the very Son of God who allowed Himself to be hung on a cross to make peace between two isolated parties. Do you know who those were? God was one and you and I were the other! Christ brought us together and made peace between us. Isn’t that what police officers imitate every time they are confronted with a lawbreaker?"

As for raising horrible children, I am praying she'll forgive me for what I feel I must do.

Robin M. said...

I figure you've got more or less five years before anyone thinks you're the least bit odd for using wipes on your child - the baby disposable ones or the toddler flushable ones. Five years in which to continue to sort out how you feel about teaching your children how to clean themselves. Five years in which to find something else to fret about. Which the good Lord knows we have plenty of.

At least I knew better than to follow that link.

Anonymous said...

Maybe you should just talk about your future daughter ("Future daughter" is also a sitcom I'm writing) its seems to be the most popular subject on your blog. And also I'm officially changing my comment name because I don't want to get blacklisted.

Skybalon said...

I think when I feel overwhelmed or am inspired to fret by the responsibility that parenting is, I will remember my last late night visit to a Wal Mart. How hard can raising children be if it can be done in the make-up section of a Wal Mart at 2 in the morning?

As for the sitcom, the name alone sounds like a winner, tell me, will there be a jive talking robot? And I promise not to out your true identity, you still have a future.

Bob Ramsey said...

Forget about "Gioi".

Name her Elphaba. It will annoy the Christian haterzz, but might make it difficult for her to work as a substitute teacher in Florida.

As an added bonus, gay men will think it's "Super".

And Ron DiCianni is still an idiot. I thought Italians had more sense than that. Must be only half Italian.

And... Nothing about your anus for three days now. A grateful nation thanks you.

Skybalon said...

You offer annoying Christian haterzz and working as a substitute teacher in Florida as if I would want one or the other. If Elphaba will kill both of those birds- it may beat out the leading name, which for anyone curious is...

Moldrid Ixtulapech

Bob Ramsey said...

That's it! But go all the way Nahuatal - let her embrace her Aztec heritage.

How about Xotchi Ixtulapech?

Bob Ramsey said...

OK, just searched the innernets for other Nahuatl (now spelled correctly) names.

How about Tlanextli Ixtli (which means "radiant countenance")?

Or if you want her to be more hard core - Tlachinolli Xiuhcoatl "firey weapon of destruction"!

Man, there's a gold mine out there.

Skybalon said...

Aztec?! Aztec?!

Being my child will give her enough reason to hate herself-

Her people are Purapecha.

Moldrid comes from honoring her mother's background- it sounds like the choking gurgling noises that would come out of a Clontarter.