I Got a GPS For My Hair

I hope your holiday season is going well. Mine is going wonderfully, even if any type of regular blog posting and other writing has suffered from the effluence of yule tide merry making and gay apparel donning.

Part of me feels like I let down some of my more regular visitors by not writing this past week (or so). Another part of me, the gay apparel part- has barely remembered that I have a blog at all. I am still technically on break from school but need to slip into a rut so when school starts back up I am not taken completely off guard. Returning to my neglected blog will help that. So on to things blog.

A recent review of my site meter data shows a lot of international visitors (looking for "Christmas Sex"- weird) and a peculiar interest in the Pampers commercial I mentioned so long ago. So that's what goes with some others. What goes with me?

I got a GPS for Christmas from my father in law. My father in law got a GPS from me. How O. Henry can you get? Actually, I bought him two GPSes... or I got him the same GPS twice. While I was on my way home from purchasing said gift, Cyndi called and asked how I would feel if I got from him the same gift I was giving, only much nicer. I didn't know exactly how I would feel about that but I suspected I should feel like I should get him something else. Cyndi didn't say that. She didn't say,
"My dad got you a nicer gift then you're getting for him. And although that's typically the case, this time there is an actual way to quantify how many dollars nicer his gift to you is than yours to him, so perhaps you should return the GPS and get him something else,"
but I felt that was the subtext. To be completely clear, Cyndi didn't say anything like that. She only asked how I would feel if that happened. My immediate reaction was I should return it. My immediate reaction was that I somehow screwed up.

So I headed back to the store. I stood in the return line (which was just as long as the checkout lines) and stewed. I mulled over my screw up and the prospect of having to think about- and get- another gift. I wondered if the gift wasn't as well chosen as I thought. I began one of my irrational, spiraling internal dialogues. I accused myself of treating gift giving as a more crass commercial enterprise than I thought it should be, I figured I wasn't as thoughtful as I thought I was- all I do is get people what I want them to want. And I I try to craft everyone into little mes- getting them to like what I like, do what I do, affirming who I am by pretending the only things that have any value are the things I deem worthwhile. And then I figured the only reason I was in the return line instead of at home was because I give gifts as investments. They're stock, if they like it, it's worth influence, and if they don't, it's an opportunity for guilt making. And now that I know that's what gifts are for, how could I get anything for anybody- and we shouldn't get gifts for anyone anyway because the money can all be spent on things that really matter. And I'm hungry and cranky from standing in line so I'll just make my father in law a coupon book for free hugs and car washes.

On the way home I thought about what a good gift the GPS really was and that I should get it even if I'm getting one that's better than the one I can afford to give. I told Cyndi we should still get the GPS so she asked why I returned it. I told her it was because she wanted me to. She told me I was stupid- well she didn't actually say that- but I felt it was the subtext.

So I bought a GPS twice, received one once, and still wonder exactly where I am.

[Untitled]- Smashing Pumpkins
Tired of Being Alone- Al Green
Flashlight- Parliament
It's Oh So Quiet- Bjork
The Christian's Testimony- Mahalia Jackson
F**k the System- System of a Down
Kid A- Radiohead
How Many More Years? Howlin' Wolf
There Is No Greater Love- Dizzy Gillespie
These Arms of Mine- Otis Redding
War Pigs- Black Sabbath
'Bout to Wail- Dizzy Gillespie

I reformatted the layout of this post- it was impossible to read with the picture where it was. So... eidtor's note or something.