Thursday, January 05, 2006

Then Why Do I?


Is a WARNING necessary? I dunno. If it is, this is it.

I was meeting my friend at noon but to miss traffic, well to make sure I got there by noon, I left Glendora at 7AM. I actually made it in less than two hours, so used the extra time to walk around and see what had changed and what remained.

Walking next to me, towards the crosswalk, was a guy with his eyes fixed on his cell phone. He didn't notice, or maybe care, that the light was still red. He stepped into the street, eyes still on the phone, but jumped back to the sidewalk in response to an almost too late warning honk. The light changed, we crossed the street but he thought it was important to flip off the guy that almost hit him. The guy that almost hit him thought it was important to slam on the brakes and flip him off back. The angry guy said, "What!? roll, bitch, roll!" Fast driver rolled, but not away from Angry Guy. Instead he started backing up. Angry guy kept walking- away from Fast Driver who, I guess, was waiting for Angry Guy to go fight him. But Angry Guy kept walking. So I said to him, "I guess it's hard to flip people off if you're dead."

Showing the same mental quickness that found him in the street to begin with, he responded, "Rolling his bitch car in front of me- just drive, just drive, fucker." I never heard that construction before- "bitch car." I would've said, "ride," or, "bitch-ass car," or maybe even "bitch-ass ride." I thought that would match the tone of "Roll, bitch, roll." But maybe Angry Guy knew better than I.

Anyway, I said, "Well at least you're not dead." Culling from the foremost of ancient wisdom, Angry Guy said, "I don't give a fuck." So what do you say to that? I said, "Oh well, I guess not."

Sometimes, I really miss living in a more metropolitan area.

1 comment:

Skybalon said...

Well...
A.) If they don't know what it means, it can't be a bomb
and
B.) You really should be picking on the fact that I screwed up capitalizing the names Fast Driver and Angry Guy. You should know I would be much more sensitive about that than anything else.