Arlen Specter Hates America

After weeks of insisting it would not reveal details of the National Security Agency's warrantless monitoring of Americans' phone calls and e-mails, the White House reversed course Wednesday and provided a House committee with highly classified information about the operation.

WASHINGTON- Associated Press

I know! I am as surprised as you by that headline.

But it's true. Even though it makes us less safe that we know about the NSA domestic spying program, even though anyone that would challenge executive authority by citing the Constitution doesn't realize freedom isn't free, even though we are in a practically interminable war against evil, Republican Senator Arlen Specter has said he is drafting legislation to subject the executive program to a judicial review.


INTERIOR/ POORLY LIT, SMOKE-FILLED SENATE JUDICIARY COMMITTEE CHAMBER. WINDOWS ARE COVERED WITH TIE-DYED SHEETS AND VARIOUS REVOLUTIONARY SLOGANS PAINTED ON THE WALLS AND ON BANNERS ARE VISIBLE. STRAWBERRY ALARM CLOCK PLAYS IN THE BACKGROUND

OPEN TIGHT ON A SKULL/ PULL OUT TO WIDE- REVEALING SKULL TO BE A LARGE CERAMIC BONG THAT SPECTER IS SMOKING FROM

Feinstein and Sessions are making out on the floor while Grassley creepily watches from a distance. In one corner of the room, De Wine is tying off Hatch's arm while Durbin cooks heroine for them. Specter takes a hit from the bong, then holding in the smoke, he pulls Kennedy's head to his and exhales into Kennedy's mouth.

FEINGOLD (entering room, waving a handful of pages)
I don't see how you think they'll go for this

KENNEDY (coughing)
Errr ahh they don't have to go for it, if Bush vetoes it he looks like he has something to hide, if he doesn't he's right where we want him. Either way he falls.

FEINGOLD
No. It's too much too soon, he's been playing brilliantly so far, if we strike now we risk everything we worked for. We need more time to get everything in place

SPECTER
We've been biding our time long enough. We're gonna bring the pigs down from the inside and use their own Constitution to do it.

FEINGOLD
Do you know how long I've been working to build confidence and coalitions? Reaching out through divisions-

SPECTER (interrupting)
This isn't about you or me- this about the Revolution

FEINGOLD
No, Arlen, this legislation is too bold, Bush is too cagey to fall for your moves

SPECTER (rising)
It's time to be bold, we've waited long enough - You and your calls for bipartisan ethics and campaign reform... What do you believe in?- Look around you, man. We rule now- History is ending, and you're trying to keep it alive

BIDEN
I think I smell bacon

GRAHAM
Yeaah!

FEINGOLD
Shut up (dismissively- then to SPECTER) I believe in finishing what we started. I believe in bringing in the New Order-

SPECTER
This is Wonderland, Russ! There is no order- I think you need to remember that!

BIDEN and GRAHAM seize FEINGOLD by the arms. SPECTER grabs a syringe from the table.

GRAHAM (hissing)
How about a little truth, Russ?

SPECTER plunges the syringe into FEINGOLD's neck and releases its contents. FEINGOLD's eyes immediately roll back and he slumps, held up by GRAHAM and BIDEN.

SPECTER
Dump him in Chevy Chase and arrange a press conference.

FADE OUT



So I'm a screenplay writer now.