The Marketplace of Ideas

EXT. DOWNTOWN STOREFRONT - MIDDAY
People and vehicles move across frame. One person exits store looking beleaguered carrying a large heavy wooden cross perhaps expressing something like buyer's remorse. CUSTOMER on the street lets person clumsily pass and then enters the store himself.

INT. SOFTLY LIT RETAIL "LIFESTYLE SENSITIVE SHOPPING ENVIRONMENT", AN ENGINEERED SENSE OF ECLECTIC, BUT HIGH END, NOVELTY - TIME OF DAY IS INDISCERNIBLE FROM INSIDE

CUSTOMER enters store and casually looks around. He is soon, but not too quickly, greeted by a CLERK

CLERK
Hi welcome to Reflections, can I help you with anything today?

CUSTOMER
I hope so. I'm looking for a God.

CLERK
Well then you've come to the right place. Did you have a particular God in mind?

CUSTOMER
Oh I dunno. What's your most popular?

CLERK

(Searching shelves and then retrieving and showing Customer a picture of Bahá'u'lláh.)

Well we have a few that are very popular right now... What do you think of this?

CUSTOMER
That's God?

CLERK
Yes, well the Supreme Manifestation of God at least.

CUSTOMER

(Gestures around face and neck as if stroking an imaginary beard.)

Ehh... I don't know... he seems kind of...

CLERK

(Answering for Customer.)

Beardy?

CUSTOMER

(Quickly adding.)

And old-

CLERK
Yes bearded and old are standard with most of our Gods.

CUSTOMER

(Carefully searching the displays then excitedly pointing to a God of gold calligraphy.)

Yeah I see... Oh, what's that one?

CLERK

(Going to display and grabbing God to hand to Customer.)

Ah yes, the name of God. One of our most popular.

CUSTOMER
Squiggles uh- can I see it?

CLERK

(Handing God to Customer.)

If I may, it looks very good on you.

CUSTOMER

(Looking at self in mirror.)

Yeah, it's pretty good... I like that it's shiny. I dunno. Seems kinda' pokey in some places

(Handing it back.)

Maybe I don't want something too popular...

CLERK

(Sizing up the Customer.)

Hmm... perhaps you'd like something a bit more... Classic! I'll be right back.

(Clerk goes to the back. Customer searches the displays alone, examining the different Gods. He knocks two arms off of one multi-armed deity and self-consciously tries to cover it up. Clerk returns, bringing a statue of Zeus and picture of Centeotl from back.)

CLERK
I think you might like these. Zeus and Centeotl.

CUSTOMER

(Taking the Zeus statue and examining him.)

He's beardy too... But I like that he looks so regal and majestic

CLERK
He should. He's the king of the Gods.

CUSTOMER
Huh- King of the Gods? That sounds pretty good... Why's he the king?

CLERK
Well he killed his father, thereby rescuing his brothers, whom his father had eaten, and then with his sister fathered many of the other Gods, so they all kind of owed it to him-

CUSTOMER

(Thrusting back Zeus in disgust.)

Ugh- with his sister?! That's awful!

CLERK

(To himself but still answering the Customer.)

Yeah there's a lot of incest with these Gods... And their early creations... Makes some of them a tougher sell...

(He speaks fully to the Customer again.)

You're right, you don't want him. It gets worse, he liked to turn into an animal to seduce virgins. But what about Centeotl- he's primarily the God of corn.

CUSTOMER

(Beginning to show his confusion and frustration.)

Corn?

CLERK

(Sensing the Customer's disbelief.)

Well... it's pretty important to some people.

(Now the Customer is looking as if he's losing interest and takes in the store's full pantheon with a mixture of reluctance and disgust.)

CUSTOMER
I guess what I'm really looking for is just something to justify my existence. You know, to maybe make me feel a little more secure, like I'm okay and despite all the craziness everything else is gonna be okay too. I dunno. Do I even need a God for that?

CLERK
Oh sure, and just about any of these can do that.

CUSTOMER
Really?

CLERK
Sure. I think we can set you up with a really nice God if that's what you're looking for.

CUSTOMER
All right. But nothing too expensive.

CLERK
Of course not, I think you will be quite pleased

EXT. DOWNTOWN STOREFRONT - MIDDAY
CUSTOMER exits store wearing an NOTW hat or some such like that. Walks out of frame.

FO