I've Been Left Behind

I'll be teaching a class called Contemporary Christian Thought next semester at an Evangelical college. It's basically just theology of the modern era, I think I can handle that but I'm afraid I will fail the children... young adults I guess, in one key area. I will have nothing, or very little, to say to them about eschatology.

I grew up in a Catholic environment, and only very recently, in geological terms, became a part of an Evangelical culture. How Evangelical is debatable since I think Quakers don't exactly fit with contemporary Evangelicalism, but Evangelical nonetheless. Or perhaps all the more considering certain changes. To wit- Quakers used to call the large meetings they held every year, guess... any idea- Yearly Meetings. They used this term to identify the larger administrative body. So we used to be California Yearly Meeting because we got together once a year and were from California (mostly). Now we're Evangelical Friends Church Southwest, that's EFCSW to help it roll off the tongue a bit easier. And even though we still have our big Yearly Meeting, we call it "Annual Conference." (To be honest, I don't call it that so it may be wrong to say "we.") These changes aren't really that a big deal- it's just to show that there is a whole lot that we're embarrassed about and we really want to be Methodists but don't want to lose our buildings. It's cool.

What was I saying? Oh right- eschatology.

So like I said, I grew up Catholic and eventually came to understand things Quakerly. But all during that time I didn't do much with eschatology. When I was a kid I would read through Revelation and think it was weird. I would read the Bible when I was supposed to be doing other things at school; I would read it during detention, I would read it during interminable music practices in church, "quiet times" in class, and whenever else I might have been bored. I wasn't a particularly good or saintly kid; I just liked the stories and sometimes didn't have anything else with me to read. A story about your brothers wanting to kill you and selling you into slavery, that's exciting. A story about a girl menstruating on a camel, what?! A story about a king peeping at some hot girl taking a bath, that's kind of sexy. Proving your God is better by having a fire contest, that's awesome. Angels with rainbows over their heads, ten-horned, seven-headed monsters rising out of the sea, that's weird.

Shipwrecks, miracles, big fish, giants, fire, fighting, morals, good guys, bad guys- all made their impression upon me. But I had no idea believing the Bible meant when I couldn't find my mom, her being whisked off to heaven was as possible an answer as she was in the backyard rather than the front. And even though I had a pretty good sense that a lot of what was in the Bible could be used in some lucrative rackets, I was clueless to the financial potential of Daniel and Revelation. I guess I knew things would end, but I didn't know some people would say we had such a detailed account of that end. The Day After loomed before me more than A Thief in the Night. Like a child, indeed.

So I grew. When asked in youth group what we thought Revelation was about, I offered something or other about it being a coded attack on Nero and the nature of political power and a Christian's relation to it. I didn't know that wasn't the right answer, but the giggles and sideways looks clued me in that something else was going on. When I was in college and read The Politics of Jesus it seemed a good approach to the Gospel and Gospels. I had no idea it would cause so many furrowed brows in Bible study and church. When I crossed out the word "premillenial" so I could sign an employee statement of faith in good conscience... well, I knew what I was doing that time.

But these kids, what will I do? I'm not even putting eschatology on the syllabus. We'll touch on it in some of the readings, but probably not the way they need. What will they do with a survey of modern theological developments and readings if they don't include how Bird Flu fulfills Biblical prophecy or understand how animals will be raptured? Liberation theology's relation to eschatological thought? Worthless. We need to know that the antichrist is here now and is a Jew.

If only I had known that my understanding of Jesus’ teachings as inherently political was wrong and impractical. If only I had learned in time that the Gospel only speaks obliquely to real human relationships or social institutions and it must be hammered into an unrecognizable pulp to be socially relevant. John Yoder, if you were alive today you would rue the day you made me think Jesus’ deliberate use of political language and Paul’s understanding of the “powers” is for a community that is necessarily political in nature. Rue it I say!

No Iron Maiden
Move On Up a Little Higher- Mahalia Jackson
Enjoy- Bjork
Roulette- System of a Down
The Boy With the Thorn in His Side- The Smiths
Smokestack Lightnin'- Howlin Wolf
Untitled Original- John Coltrane
Island In the Sun- Weezer
Blissed and Gone- Smashing Pumpkins
Brick House- The Commodores
Sweet Leaf- Black Sabbath
No Shelter (Live)- Rage Against the Machine
Riot- Miles Davis
High 5- Beck