You Keep Using That Word, I Do Not Think It Means What You Think It Means

EX-ENRON BOSSES CLOSER TO PRISON
More than four years after the collapse of their company stunned a city and sent shockwaves through corporate boardrooms across the country, former Enron executives Ken Lay and Jeff Skilling failed one last time: to convince a jury that it was not their fault.

"Certainly we're surprised, more appropriately to say we're shocked ... I firmly believe I'm innocent of the charges against me," said Lay. He noted that he's still a blessed man because of his family and friends. "We believe God is in fact in control and indeed he does work all things for good for those who love the Lord."

Houston Chronicle

I understand the umbrage people take at Ken Lay's proclamation of his innocence and even more at his statement that it's all good 'cos he loves the Lord. For some it may sound like, no matter what a court says, everything he did is okay. A jury seems to think what he did was criminal, and from A Conspiracy of Fools one gets the impression that a whole lot of pride, selfishness, chest-beating and disregard for ethics played a huge role in the collapse of the company, the loss of so many people's savings, and the general assault on capitalism- so the "it's all good" sentiment seems a bit indelicate. But the resentment against his words doesn't mean that what he's said doesn't in some way resonate as true. It just may be that the good he thinks there may be may not be what he wants or expects it to be...
It may be that the good God works through those who love Him is very much not like the good we expect or would find easiest to swallow.

I find it interesting (read inane and revealing of how little is understood) when people say the Biblical king David was A Man After God's Own Heart and by that mean, "It's all good." Pardon my French, but if you read his story you see David was a bit of a trou de cul. The Bible saying David was a man after God's own heart does not necessarily justify or even excuse what David did. It might make it worse. It might mean that even a "man after God's heart" can't handle being a king. It might mean being earnest for God does not guarantee you do things well or that you are good at being good. I don't think the stories of David's adultery, dead babies, civil war, pestilence, and no temple building bloody hands are so easily glossed over or meant to be seen as good things because David was a man after God's own heart. Although that is an easier approach.

It may be that David could be horribly wrong, corrupted by power, susceptible to lust and violence and come to a point where he says something like, "Holy crap I suck." I don't know... I tend to think being a person after God's heart doesn't mean you're great and can do no wrong. Maybe it means something more like you are able to say, "I have sinned greatly in what I have done. But now, O LORD, I pray thee, take away the iniquity of thy servant; for I have done very foolishly." And strangely enough, that seems to be its own kind of greatness.

So Ken Lay says he loves the Lord and is expecting good because of it. I don't know what he means by that. I kind of get the impression he means something like, "Ain't no haters can take us, ya heard me?! Only God can judge me." But maybe he means something else. Maybe he anticipates the good he expects God to work will come through being devastated. I don't know. But he's still right... sort of.

Playing Through the Alphabet: B Can Barely Bother
I Miss You- Bjork
Cover Me- Bjork
Headphones- Bjork
The Wiizard- Black Sabbath
Paranoid- Black Sabbath
War Pigs- Black Sabbath
Iron Man- Black Sabbath
Fairies Wear Boots- Black Sabbath
Changes- Black Sabbath
Sweet Leaf- Black Sabbath
sky is falling- Blackalicious
My Pen and Pad- Blackalicious
Chemical Calisthenics- Blackalicious

Frequently Feingold

I couldn't do it; I couldn't keep calling this the Daily Feingold. Anyway...

"Senator Feingold has pledged to hold listening sessions in all of Wisconsin’s 72 counties each year of his six-year term and this will be the Senator’s 14th year of holding listening sessions. These sessions will mark the 31st and 32nd listening sessions of 2006, and the 967th and 968th since 1993. Feingold will hold his 1000th listening session at the end of 2006."

Isn't that nice?

If you happen to find yourself in Oneida County, Wisconsin on May 30 you can meet and speak to Russ Feingold. What a charming way to show personal interest in your constituency.

All my senator ever did was lessen my friend's prison sentence because he was serving time in a condemned federal prison... I guess that's pretty good.

Phoning It In

FEINGOLD-BACKED BILL SUPPORTING GREAT LAKES RESTORATION PASSES SENATE COMMITTEE

Washington, D.C. – U.S. Senator Russ Feingold has announced that a bill he cosponsored to strengthen Great Lakes restoration efforts, has been approved by the Senate Environment and Public Works Committee.

Senate Press Release

I remain committed to the Daily Feingold and in this commitment I'm learning something very important. No, not things about Russ Feingold, that's just incidental. More important, I seem to be learning how words don't have to mean anything. That's been a hang up of mine for some time. I think words can suggest different things in different settings and that definitions can change over time, but when meaning changes it shows that our larger concepts have changed. Even though they change they are stable and rooted in a particular setting. Words mean something. I'm beginning to see how silly that is.
Hence the Daily Feingold is not offered everyday, even though the word daily suggests it would be. Daily means everyday. From the beginning I wasn't doing it on most weekends so already Daily meant something else. And now, I'm missing weekdays, but still I call it the Daily Feingold. It's really more The Frequent Feingold or The Somewhat Regular Feingold.
Whoops, that's not the direction I should go.


-When I use a word, it means just what I choose it to mean - neither more nor less.
-The question is, whether you can make words mean so many different things.
-The question is: which is to be master - that's all.

What wonderful insight, Humpty Dumpty. Especially considering the political relations the Daily Feingold has, I better put this nonsense about the meaning of words behind me.

Gosh, We're All Really Impressed Down Here

Duke was sprayed by a skunk yesterday. This means I got skunk stink on me too. This is spring.



I'm not complaining at all. I love it. Not the stink itself, that's stinky, but I don't mind being confronted with some of the more unpleasant aspects of nature- like skunk stink, bug bites, itching, sneezing, near death and what not. It's there year round, but spring seems extra itchy and so extra "other" for me. I've had the pleasure of seeing coyotes playing from across a canyon, views from what seems like the top of the world. I know the dessert can be more than a drab olive green; that when it's in bloom it looks like the earth has been dusted with yellows, pinks, blues, and purples. I've been feet from bears, stared at the intricacy and detail of bugs, the patterns on lizards, and been wowed by the size of trees, I've seen rattlesnakes doing it. It's all great. I love it. But I'm not the guy that looks at it all and thinks "harmony." Maybe I think "counterpoint," or "still tuning." I'm not sure. I'm impressed, I'm filled with awe and wonder and all that. But I've never felt "at one with nature." Or, if I do, it's a oneness that makes me feel, not only very meek, but vulnerable and dependent.

I've been held under by hurricane swells that convinced me I was going to die. I've been covered from ankle to forehead with poison "itch." I've come away from a day of climbing with over 150 mosquito bites on my back and shoulders that made me sick. I've listened to coyotes cheer over a kill in the early evening. I've had my tent blown out of the ground. Just like in cartoons, I've come across sun-bleached cattle skulls in the desert. And this is from privileged bourgeois frivolity. People who have done nothing to be less fortunate than me live without needing a reminder of the closeness of death or discord all around them.

So what's this for? I don't know. I'm eating lunch and rambling. Maybe come Friday, when I turn in my last paper, I'll go get more insight into how I fit into nature and why the more suited my dog is to life with me the less he is suited for much else.

This Is What It's Comes To

Russ Feingold is getting ready for a pretty big play, when that time comes, I'll be here to let you know what it is with the Daily Feingold. Until then, this is what I offer:
Conan O'Brien is stealing my jokes.
To Wit-
Conan O’Brien: “Senator Arlen Specter and Senator Russ Feingold got into a shouting match over the issue of gay marriage. They were screaming at each other, yeah. As a result, Specter and Feingold have cancelled their wedding in the Florida Keys.

You might say that my post about Russ and Arlen's spat is not the same as Conan's because it is not a word for word copy. I say the similarities come from the suggestion of a relationship between Russ and Arlen. I know that was easy and hardly missed by most anyone who read the story, so you could say that Conan (or Conan's writers) simply copied life and not me (or the countless other people that made the same joke) but bear this in mind: I think the subtlety with which I approached the joke and the suggested punchline makes it a superior joke. Since my joke is better, nay the best, any other joke is a corrupted copy of the ideal joke- mine. How's that for medieval wonk?

But really, it was a terribly easy, lame joke, what is Conan paying his writers for?

2nd Guess

People hate it when I deconstruct my jokes. To them I say two things:
1. Sometimes the deconstruction of a joke is a joke in itself
2. Sometimes it's necessary

I thought I could express the silliness of a "gay" channel and the absurdity of expressing identity via reified actions in my last post. I don't think I did... well I don't think I did it successfully. Instead, I think I came across kind of jerky.

I'm not going to begin the practice of deleting posts; that would kind of go against what I think words are and what they can do. But I have to admit, I am often not as clever as I think I am. But then again, sometimes I am more clever than I think I am. So I guess it all balances out. I mean, if you're feet are frozen and your head's on fire, everything's okay right?

How Rude

I watched a Morrissey concert on LOGO the other day. That, along with this comment from Chris Frazier brings this joke to mind:

What's the difference between a gay and a straight Mexican?

This Is Why We Throw Things Away (Hypothetically)

Skybalon (loudly to other room)- Is this buttermilk still good?
Skybalon's Wife (from other room)- Yes
Skybalon-(still yelling)- Are you sure?
Skybalon's Wife (yelling still)- I just used it in the pancakes
Skybalon (to self)- Really... how long does buttermilk last?
Skybalon's Wife- ...
Skybalon (loudly)- Are you sure, it smells awful?
Skybalon's Wife (loudly)- That's how buttermilk smells.
Skybalon- Okay

I Hope The Spinal Taps Don't Play Too Loud

Which is coolest, band names that are simply an article and a singular noun- The Cure, the same thing but a plural noun- The Beastie Boys, band names that are the name of someone followed by the preceding construct-Buddy Holley and The Crickets, some person's name- Beck, just a word without an article- Devo, or some obscure acronym- KMFDM?

After that's settled we can narrow things futher, like which language is the best, are animal names better than car names, etc...

You really should take the time to answer, or even suggest name types I forgot. From this we will determine what is the coolest band name.

Like This is News to You

In my pursuit of a story on Russ Feingold for the Daily Feingold I came across this. It's from Gallup on attitudes about about gay marriage and a marriage defining amendment. Arlen Specter and Russ Feingold exchanged heated words last week over the forum and nature of the debate about this very topic. So I guess this will have to do for the Daily Feingold.

Here is everything you need to know from the Gallup survey. But what does this mean for you? Women are gay.

I know some people say statistics can be manipulated to say anything. "Knowing" this does not mean statistics can never be trusted. You just have to know what you're being told and how they came to that conclusion. Much like you need to know what the good folks at Excedrin mean when they say no medicine works faster to reduce headaches- it doesn't mean they are the fastest, only that no competitor is faster. Anyway, if you check out the survey results, you will clearly see that the majority of women aged 18-49 are gay. You can't argue with facts.

eHarmony: Defending Marriage

I'm a heel. You may (or may not) remember my adventure to see if Cyndi and I are compatible. We completed the free eHarmony profile survey to see what type of match we would be. It turns out we're not any type of match. No matter how narrow the geographic search criteria, we did not show up as a compatible match for each other according to their other profile points. She says it's because the computer can't tell how funny and mean she is and that I need funny and mean. Maybe.

What their match points supposedly can tell is who would be a better match for us. So now, when I do something awful, Cyndi can hold Sheldon from San Diego over my head. I still have Bear Wife,* who, I am sure, could kill Sheldon so I don't worry about him. I do worry though, that I can no longer go to "my" Starbucks.

As Cyndi (and good sense) says, I have no way of knowing who any of the people offered to me as matches really are (you have to pay to see them), but I am willing to bet that I know one of the people that came up as a match for me. I suspect she is a regular customer from Starbucks I used to chat with. It's all fun and games until you realize you're messing around with people looking for real relationships. Cyndi thinks, even if it is her, she would have no way of knowing that I did this. She's probably right, but I still feel pretty foolish... and mean. It was just a video game until I was forced to recognize the people attached to the names. Nothing brings the consequence of your antics to light quite like the lives of real people. So I haven't been back to "my" Starbucks in a while. Like I said, I'm a heel.

But now, setting aside the moral implications of my research as any good social scientist should, I wonder how many eHarmony marriages will end in divorce. It would be interesting in the long run to compare the endurance of eHarmony marriages with others. I don't know what I think of compatibility as a possible measure of future success. I suppose the more you have in common with someone in key areas the more you will enjoy spending time with them, or possibly, the more potential there is for finding things you may enjoy doing with each other. But people seem to change over time, circumstances change, experiences alter people, anything can happen to make a couple that seems compatible now, incompatible in the future. It may be that people are looking for something to keep them together and the idea of "compatibility" as some objective measure might be that. Maybe I can't speak to this because Cyndi and I apparently aren't compatible, but I wonder if the idea of compatibility, even if it's an illusion, can serve as a "glue" through those times when a couple might otherwise want to call it quits. It may be that the idea of compatibility is generally more binding than the idea of commitment for the spirit of our age. We may stick together, not because we decided to do so no matter what, but because it is proven that our partner can make us happy; maybe we're willing to work through these temporary obstacles or over the bumps in the road to that end. Like I said, maybe.

I tend to think people don't have what it takes to be married until they decide to stick it out and at the end of it all, have developed more fully what was necessary to have a good marriage. But I tend to view a lot of life that way. How unromantic- relationships as character development. I guess it's a little romantic- a la the Tin Woodsmen. We'll see how it turns out.

I Love You Sweetleaf
One More Saturday Night- Grateful Dead
The Harder They Come- Jimmy Cliff
Holiday- Weezer
Mike Mills- Air
Go With the Flow- Queens of the Stone Age
Silver- Pixies
In The Summertime- Mungo Jerry
Flamenco Sketches- Miles Davis

*Bear Wife is just that; she's a wife that is a bear. There isn't time for more exposition than that.

Another Thing Russ Feingold and I Have in Common

Feingold forgoes salary increase this year
WASHINGTON-Wisconsin's Democratic Senators Russ Feingold and Herb Kohl are returning this year's pay raise.
Feingold accepted his first pay raise since 1999 last year.

Feingold has a policy of accepting pay raises only at the beginning of his Senate term. He saw a big jump in salary in 2005, from nearly 137-thousand dollars to more than 162-thousand dollars.

AP via ABC News

There's no excuse for missing the Daily Feingold. No excuse.

For those of you who are getting tired of the Daily Feingold (or have been tired of it for some time) or sympathize with my struggle to bring you news of Russ Feingold everyday, here's what you can do:

Contact Russ Feingold's office. While you're letting him know you think he's doing a pretty good job and look forward to his presidency, ask him if he could get the staffer that keeps checking out the blog to leave a comment.

OR if you can somehow fake the DC or Wisconsin based domain, leave a comment as a staffer and the Daily Feingold's end. Other than that we're staying the course.

Longer Days Can be Shorter

The truly astue reader of this blog may notice a change in when I post. Well, I've been busy.

In any case, while I don't want to get too video heavy, I found something else worth sharing.

Blame You Tube for making it so easy to embed videos.

I've Been Left Behind

I'll be teaching a class called Contemporary Christian Thought next semester at an Evangelical college. It's basically just theology of the modern era, I think I can handle that but I'm afraid I will fail the children... young adults I guess, in one key area. I will have nothing, or very little, to say to them about eschatology.

I grew up in a Catholic environment, and only very recently, in geological terms, became a part of an Evangelical culture. How Evangelical is debatable since I think Quakers don't exactly fit with contemporary Evangelicalism, but Evangelical nonetheless. Or perhaps all the more considering certain changes. To wit- Quakers used to call the large meetings they held every year, guess... any idea- Yearly Meetings. They used this term to identify the larger administrative body. So we used to be California Yearly Meeting because we got together once a year and were from California (mostly). Now we're Evangelical Friends Church Southwest, that's EFCSW to help it roll off the tongue a bit easier. And even though we still have our big Yearly Meeting, we call it "Annual Conference." (To be honest, I don't call it that so it may be wrong to say "we.") These changes aren't really that a big deal- it's just to show that there is a whole lot that we're embarrassed about and we really want to be Methodists but don't want to lose our buildings. It's cool.

What was I saying? Oh right- eschatology.

So like I said, I grew up Catholic and eventually came to understand things Quakerly. But all during that time I didn't do much with eschatology. When I was a kid I would read through Revelation and think it was weird. I would read the Bible when I was supposed to be doing other things at school; I would read it during detention, I would read it during interminable music practices in church, "quiet times" in class, and whenever else I might have been bored. I wasn't a particularly good or saintly kid; I just liked the stories and sometimes didn't have anything else with me to read. A story about your brothers wanting to kill you and selling you into slavery, that's exciting. A story about a girl menstruating on a camel, what?! A story about a king peeping at some hot girl taking a bath, that's kind of sexy. Proving your God is better by having a fire contest, that's awesome. Angels with rainbows over their heads, ten-horned, seven-headed monsters rising out of the sea, that's weird.

Shipwrecks, miracles, big fish, giants, fire, fighting, morals, good guys, bad guys- all made their impression upon me. But I had no idea believing the Bible meant when I couldn't find my mom, her being whisked off to heaven was as possible an answer as she was in the backyard rather than the front. And even though I had a pretty good sense that a lot of what was in the Bible could be used in some lucrative rackets, I was clueless to the financial potential of Daniel and Revelation. I guess I knew things would end, but I didn't know some people would say we had such a detailed account of that end. The Day After loomed before me more than A Thief in the Night. Like a child, indeed.

So I grew. When asked in youth group what we thought Revelation was about, I offered something or other about it being a coded attack on Nero and the nature of political power and a Christian's relation to it. I didn't know that wasn't the right answer, but the giggles and sideways looks clued me in that something else was going on. When I was in college and read The Politics of Jesus it seemed a good approach to the Gospel and Gospels. I had no idea it would cause so many furrowed brows in Bible study and church. When I crossed out the word "premillenial" so I could sign an employee statement of faith in good conscience... well, I knew what I was doing that time.

But these kids, what will I do? I'm not even putting eschatology on the syllabus. We'll touch on it in some of the readings, but probably not the way they need. What will they do with a survey of modern theological developments and readings if they don't include how Bird Flu fulfills Biblical prophecy or understand how animals will be raptured? Liberation theology's relation to eschatological thought? Worthless. We need to know that the antichrist is here now and is a Jew.

If only I had known that my understanding of Jesus’ teachings as inherently political was wrong and impractical. If only I had learned in time that the Gospel only speaks obliquely to real human relationships or social institutions and it must be hammered into an unrecognizable pulp to be socially relevant. John Yoder, if you were alive today you would rue the day you made me think Jesus’ deliberate use of political language and Paul’s understanding of the “powers” is for a community that is necessarily political in nature. Rue it I say!

No Iron Maiden
Move On Up a Little Higher- Mahalia Jackson
Enjoy- Bjork
Roulette- System of a Down
The Boy With the Thorn in His Side- The Smiths
Smokestack Lightnin'- Howlin Wolf
Untitled Original- John Coltrane
Island In the Sun- Weezer
Blissed and Gone- Smashing Pumpkins
Brick House- The Commodores
Sweet Leaf- Black Sabbath
No Shelter (Live)- Rage Against the Machine
Riot- Miles Davis
High 5- Beck

Baby Don't Cry

Here's how lame I am:

A while ago I mentioned that I like to see people win. It's true, even as I'm the guy that can construct a nice taunt, I'll also cheer for you. I like competition, I like trying, and as much as I like winning, I like good play. It makes me feel good.

Gator Ade has a new commercial out promoting Team USA, or you could say honoring Team USA, for qualifying for the World Cup Finals. It's a montage that condenses what I enjoy about sports, soccer especially. My face gets flush just writing about it...

Why am I writing about it? You can watch it-


Anyway, I get farklempt watching it. I know that's a bit lame. But how about something a bit more lame?

ESPN is running World Cup promos narrated by Bono, the Edge, and the One I Didn't Know Talked. Two of them during the UEFA Cup yesterday made me cry. Eating lunch with Cyndi, I tried to tell her about the comercials and how goofy I am, I cried.

The one that really gets me is about the Ivory Coast. This is their first time qualifying for the World Cup Finals and it occurred in the midst of ongoing hostilities between Muslims and Christians with a team composed of, strangely enough, Muslims and Christians.

So Bono narrates this commercial, giving a very brief overview of their conflict, images of war, tension, and suspicion set the tone. Then we see that it's not an angry mob at all. The team passes through this crowd gathered to see them off, people are waving their Nation's flag and colors rather than party banners- fighting becomes dancing, crying becomes singing and all that. Their team has done what leaders couldn't do, and the commercial is set to the intro of "Where the Streets Have No Name." Peace and Sport- good grief what a set up.

You can laugh if you'd like, Cyndi did.

Of course it's an idealized snapshot. The 30 second or so narrative doesn't capture everything. But I cried. 'Cos I'm a baby, and because it's true. Things are still tenuous in Ivory Coast but there are also stories like this:

-Kone and Oulai live near each other in a poor neighbourhood in the main government-held city of Abidjan. Kone says he warned his relatives to avoid their neighbour - until the Elephants qualified last year for the 2006 World Cup.

"Everyone was exultant. Oulai ran into my house and he yelled 'We won!' We spoke for the first time since the war began, thanks to the Elephants," Kone says.-

How's that for maudlin, heart-string manipulating, treacle? And as united as people might be behind their Elephants, I bet you wouldn't want to be in Abidjan if you were from Sudan or Cameroon. Still, sometimes, this is what I'm looking for-

Just those moments.

Russ Feingold Is Gay!

WASHINGTON - A Senate committee approved a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage Thursday, after a shouting match that ended when one Democrat strode out and the Republican chairman bid him "good riddance."

AP Yahoo News

Oh he's not really gay, but he and Arlen Specter had a bit of a spat.

What a day to get a late start at the computer. Russ Feingold harumphed out of a Judiciary committee meeting this morning after a catty give and get with Chairman Arlen Specter.

Arlen Specter requested that the vote take place in the President's room where public access is limited. Though Specter "totally opposes" the amendment, he voted "yes" to give it to the Senate where it will be passed around and likely voted down.

So almost like clockwork, and strangely enough, coinciding with Congressional races, every second Spring we hear about flag burning and gay marriage. Bills or proposed amendments go through the House and are defeated by the Senate (even a Republican controlled Senate).

I wonder what that's all about.

Of Course, Subtitles Help

Heaven's Porch

Anyone care to join me for a trip to paradise in a space ship behind a comet... Anyone... no... no takers? Are you sure? We could all shave our heads and add -ody to our names.
Oh right, we mutilate our genitals and we kill ourselves too? Who's with me? Still no one?
Okay- your loss.
Still, while the comet's here you should get some binoculars or a telescope and check it out. Finder charts are here.
But if anyone changes their mind let me know. I don't want to go by myself, but if someone wants to come along I got plenty of vodka, you bring the phenobarbital.

Oh Right, The Daily Feingold

Senator Russ Feingold is going to Seattle. If you're in Seattle this Saturday you can attend a rally with US Senator Russ Feingold and your favorite King County elected officials. And while you're there, get your tickets for INXS, part of the Marymoor concert series. Even though you missed Natural Yard Days bring some organic fertilizer or homemade compost.

I don't live in King County, Washington, but I do have a favorite official (though he's not elected). Meet David Spohr, the new Rural Ombudsman for King County. Don't let the defeated look and stack of paperwork fool you. Rural communities now have an advocate who can ‘speak their language’ when it comes to the issue of property rights. But don't take my word for it. Employment Committee Vice-Chair, Larry Gossett, says, "Rural communities now have an advocate who can speak their language when it comes to the issue of property rights."

"Land use disputes will always be contentious, but if you have the right person who is qualified, credible, and knowledgeable, we can make the process less abrasive and more productive.” "Less abrasive?" Well said, David.

I'm Singing, I'm In a Store and I'm Siiiiingiiiiing

My dog woke me up very early this morning and I couldn't fall back asleep. It was the early morning before the freeway din becomes a roar and I heard something I don't ever recall hearing before: roaring birds. The cacophony of tweets, chirps, whistles, and peeps stood out in the gray like a high pitched overwhelming static.

Other than to say it was loud, I don't think we have the words to describe birds being this rowdy. Birds sing, or warble, or trill. They don't holler, and shout, and whoop it up. Well, they really don't do any of those things, they just make sounds of varying tone and complexity. I guess you can take issue with that, you can call it singing, we do call it singing, but it's not the singing humans do. (Unless of course you consider that boys join bands to get girls in much the same way birds might sing to get a mate). It's not even called singing by everyone- some cultures say birds cry. How sad. Anyway, we say birds sing, but calling it singing limits my ability to describe what the birds were doing this morning: screaming, yelling.

It sounds strange to say birds yell. The image of birds tearing into town on horses shooting their guns in the air, as soccer hooligans chanting at their opponents, or as a NBA coach on the verge of stroke is odd but it shouldn't be. Or perhaps it should, but other anthropomorphized ideas of birds should seem just as strange. A bird as a soprano is just like a bird as an olympic powerlifter.

I don't know what we gain or miss by saying birds sing, other than we have a way of talking about birds but our way limits what we might say about birds. We gotta say they do something- I guess.

It's early, so maybe I don't want to be all preachy about my anthropomorphized ideas of God. They're there too though, with the same possibilities and limits.

Go; Let it be Done for You According to Your Faith

God's Call Comes by Cellphone
Among them was Terry Vallandingham, who gathered his wife and their three kids, still in their pajamas, to worship in front of a flat-screen computer monitor in their home in Shawnee, Okla.

When Groeschel asked questions, the Vallandinghams responded by clicking an icon. When the band struck up, they all sang aloud, right there in their study, sprawled out on the leather couch. After the last "Amen," they surfed into the online "lobby chat" to wish the pastor a good holiday...

"It was amazing," Vallandingham said. "My wife even said, 'Church doesn't get better than this.' "

LA Times

I'm all for broadening our ideas of how we say we can know and worship God. Yet...

The thing is, the Vallandinghams, are right. Church doesn't get any better than "this." And they'll continue to be right unless they realize they aren't.

Many years ago, Cyndi asked why Catholics give their churches such weird names, Holy Name of this, Our Lady of That, Saint So-and-So the Something or Other. Thank you Skypilot Temple, Celebration Fellowship, Lighthouse Chapel, Powerpoint Church, The Rock, and others for ending that discussion.

Trading one bit of nothing for another isn't much. And then sometimes we discover there was something where we saw nothing.

I used to blame others for the shallowness, difficulties, or strangeness of my experiences in any number of things. As a parallel- what was wrong with women that so many of them I dated were crazy? (Hint: I was the common factor of all these crazy girls and bad relationships).

Things are better now, but I don't think I needed those bad relationships to know good relationships are possible. I don't think being shallow is necessary to know depth is possible. And as one grows, you may not be ready at 5 for what you will know at 15, at 20, at 30. Still, what was fine at 5 isn't at 15, 20, 30, ad infinitum.

So Mrs. Vallandingham, welcome to TV church. I hope your stay is a blessed and temporary one.

Remember, Han Shot First?

So Han shooting first makes him a good character- not necessarily a good guy (at first), just a good character. But kids these days, what do they know of dynamic characters and stop motion special effects?

The original Star Wars trilogy is being released on DVD in September. You probably knew that. But did you know you can buy Han Solo and Greedo bookends perfect for displaying your new old trilogy? What better way to say, "I love you," to the nerd in your life than buying the trilogy with Han and Greedo bookends?

Thank Boing

Russ Feingold Has Bird Flu!

I was going to say I no longer read the text of stories for the Daily Feingold and then begin rumors with what I glean from the headlines. But I read the article. It's about Russ Feingold being popular with some clusters of voters but not always so in the Senate. He doesn't really have the Avian Flu. Boring.

So I apologize for the less than thrilling Daily Feingold. But, just like every cowboy sings a sad sad song, I was reminded of an idea I had to start internet rumors. I was actually inspired by my real confusion about the alligator story and a note I received yesterday asking why Christians are so passionate about promoting ignorance and censorship. I thought it might have been funny to promote a little ignorance by offering news commentary from just reading the headlines... Maybe funny is the wrong word.

I don't have an answer for that question. It does seem that too often delusion and gullibility are confused for faith. Every now and then I return to the Beliefnet message boards and am reminded of this from all sides of discussion. A lot of non-Christians think Christians are stupid, and a lot of Christians give them good reason.

Anyway, it reminded me that I want to start Christian e-mail forwards. Somebody has to, why not me? Right now would be a good time to start a rumor about immigrants- Mexicans are coming as Catholic missionaries, or teams of illegal immigrants are coming to work as housekeepers to steal babies, or for the past ten years an Arizona pastor has been rounding up illegal immigrants, preaching the gospel to them and sending them back as missionaries where they've started churches... oohhh I like that one. Or this one, A San Diego couple would drive along the border offering food and water to people illegally crossing, and one day they came across Satanist drug smugglers. There's a plot hole here, but after some exchange in which they're told they can go if they deny Jesus they're martyred. That one feels right too. OOOHHH how about in a meeting with a foreign journalist, W is asked about his low approval numbers. A FRENCH (read atheist) journalist asks him how he feels about his low numbers and W tells him about his faith and that the world hates him because he was chosen out of the world to do good works- therefore the world hates him because the world hates Jesus, foolishness to the Greeks, weakness of God, and all that. The French reporter is so impressed by his faith he becomes a Christian. YES!

Dannodellagioia

In an effort to make my blog more parochial and alienating, here's some news from the world of soccer. It turns out Juventus, the Italian champions, are being investigated for fixing who would officiate at key matches. Maybe that doesn't sound like a big deal. It is. The general manager resigned and said his soul has been killed. The team's board has resigned. The outgoing and incoming prime ministers have commented on it. Trading on the team's stock was stopped. Italian officials bound for the World Cup have been withdrawn.

Okay, this is the USA, most everybody hates soccer and everything it stands for, so I'll put it in terms others can understand. It turns out that Pamela Anderson is a man; you've been attracted to a man this whole time, maybe even worse. Good grief what were you doing? He's a man, man! And on top of it, this was discovered just before Barb Wire came out. See, that's a big deal. So that might give you some perspective on how much this matters to Italy.

Here's why it matters to us: The US is in the same group as Italy for the World Cup. "We" play them in our second match. This could help us in that match, but more broadly and importantly this could affect Italy's play overall. Maybe they'll be less aggressive, less cohesive, rattled, psyched out, whatever- so long as they score less. How would you perform confronted with the reality that Pamela Anderson has a penis?

Now, add that the Czech team (also in our group) has named injured players to its roster. This makes it more possible that we could advance without having to face Brazil in the Round of Sixteen.

Okay, so maybe it still doesn't matter to you. Try this, you will have the chance to chant USA! USA! very soon. How's that?

That's Like Shooting a Beautiful Man

I used the word faggot in a previous post in much the same way it might be used when one says, "You're buying your girlfriend flowers, dude, what a fag." Or, "You're a vegetarian?! Why don't you go live in Russia, faggot." It's like Pinko was back in the day. It's supposed to have those sexual implications, but when it's used like that it's about more than sex. Limp-wristed softness is subversive and dangerous and somehow all wrapped up with our thoughts on stereotypical masculinity, sensitivity, art, sports, stoicism, kindness, harshness, femininity, blah blah blah.

I wonder why sex, or perceived sexual identity is wrapped up in so much of what we do. I don't say I wonder, as in "How come it is?" I mean it is and I often wonder about it.

I'd like to look at this more. But I'm not going to now. I no longer say I'll get back to it in another post. I may... I may not. But if I do, believe me, it's gonna be great. Let's hope I get back to it real soon.

Oh and to anyone who might take offense at my use of faggot as a derogatory term, or say I'm perpetuating negative stereotypes by using it, or who says I have no right to use the word because I'm not gay, I say this:
I'm gay enough-


The Whole Modern World’s Got a Swishifying Effect on Kids Today
Birds and Ships- Billy Bragg & Wilco
Stop Me If You Think That You've Heard This One Before- The Smiths
Skanky Panky- Kid Koala
Gone With My Mind- Dead Kennedys
Exodus- Bob Marley
So. Central Rain- R.E.M.
Dedicated Follower of Fashion- The inks
Luz Azul- Aterciopelados

With Friends Like This...

Kerry Adds Support to Feingold's Censure Measure
WASHINGTON- Wisconsin Senator Russ Feingold's measure to censure President Bush has gained a third supporter.
Massachusetts Senator John Kerry has officially signed on to the bill. He joins fellow Democrats Tom Harkin from Iowa and Barbara Boxer from California as co-sponsors.

AP via ABC news

Remember I mentioned the correct use of the phrase "Begging the question?" Here again we see an example of that. If you were St. Russ the Dragon Killer, would you think of it as support if Kerry added his name to your bill?

Here, the headline writer assumes Kerry adding his name is a way of supporting Russ Feingold. I cynically wonder though, given recent history, what this support is meant to do. It might not mean the same thing to have a senator who, say, didn't lose in a presidential race sign on than it does to have one who did.

Alligator Attacks Spike

ST. PETERSBURG, Fla.- Florida officials are on the hunt after a series of deadly alligator attacks across the state.

The bodies of two women were recovered yesterday. The medical examiner hasn't issued a final report on the cause of death for one found north of St. Petersburg. Officials say her body had been bitten and it appears an alligator played "some part" in the death.

AP via ABC news

This isn't the story I was expecting when I clicked on the headline. I wonder what's wrong with me.

Smiley Face, Frowny Face

Now, he said, "I see that it is possible that I can receive a fair trial even with Americans as jurors."

LA Times

I don't know if I see it as ironic, comic, tragic, poetically just, or what, but I like it.

Zacarias Moussaoui asked for a retrial after he was surprised at having received a fair trial with American jurors. He said, "I was sure that the justice system was just a charade and I would be given death." So he plead guilty to something that it turns out he may not have been immediately involved in and we didn't decide to kill him.

Oops.

That probably doesn't fit with the story he'd created for himself and lived by- was willing to kill for. He plead guilty and expected to get the death penalty because he hated America so much he thought that was the best that could happen. It was the best statement he could make. But it didn't happen. And because it didn't happen he had to confront who we can be.

I know I'm a hippy, liberal, faggot, pacifist and I'm supposed to hate America, but I don't. I often want us to be better than we are, it's because I know we can be better than we often are. And this, this is pretty good. It's not perfect, I don't expect it to be. There's plenty else to trouble us. But here's a reminder for us as Americans of our commitment to law and not personality, rules and not whims, our hope for more, when we are best, than just power and wielding it.

I know that is so tenuous and it might sound like I am merely casting my gaze from one thing to another. But I hope you've read enough to know that's not me.

And for us that claim to be Christians, what might it mean to have been praying, or to now pray, for this enemy as a person? I know it's a completely untestable claim, and perhaps offensive to those people who desperately want him dead, but is this what we can look for in praying for our enemies? I hope there was, or will be, a moment where he asks, "Who are these people I wanted to kill?" Or even better a moment where he asks, "Who am I and what have I been living for?"

You know what this means don't you? We'll make it to the semi-finals.

A Gated Community for One

Some people forget that corporations are people too. Not only are corporations people but they are made up of people who have lives to live, families to feed, and boat payments to make, so it is unfair to think of them as uncaring, profit driven, entities only concerned about the bottom line and the financial interests of their shareholders. Global corporations especially get a bad rap. Sure they care about making a profit, but the people that make up these corporations, at least in the short term have to live here too.

With a lot of the stuff that people do in the name of profits, it's easy to think that profiteers have no broader sense of living in the world they are helping to create. But the SurvivaBall by Halliburton shows us that at least one global corporation is willing to creatively confront a potentially scary future- what with terrorism, global warming, water and air pollution, and all that and ask, "How will we continue to live in the world we are building together?"

If you'd like to get in on the future building or just know more, you can go here

St. Russ The Dragon Killer

As the Senate's most outspoken critic of the domestic spying program, you may not know it, but this icon of Russ Feingold is very appropriate.
Reader paddy o. offered this icon of Russ Feingold to accompany my hagiography. Brilliant. And again the rest of you? Nothing.

Anyway, it's based on an icon of St. George. The armor, the spear, the GORG in the upper right, and the fact Paddy O. titled it St. Russ the Dragon Killer tell you so. It is very appropriate that it is.

If you are unfamiliar with the story of St. George it goes a little something like this: a village spring is guarded by a dragon so that everyday the villagers have to sacrifice someone to get their water. Everyday? Yes, everyday someone has to draw the dragon away from the spring so everyone else can get water. So, one day, it turns out the village "princess" is chosen (remember the movie Dragonslayer?) and despite the "kings" protestations, rules is rules. So she has to go. But luckily a wandering George happens by, kills the dragon, saves the princess, and the grateful villagers reject their heathen ways and each one becomes a Christian- every last one of them.

The other story is that he was a soldier who protested the persecution of Christians and refused to participate in it- no matter what the emperor thought was necessary for national security and public placation. Speaking out like this made George, or Gorg, a traitor, so the emperor ordered his torture and execution. The empress was so impressed by his martyrdom, she became a Christian herself.

Some people say that Athanasius became a Christian from his martyrdom but I don't think that would be right. Athanasius was from Africa, Gorg was from Turkey. Plus, Athanasius would've been a baby when Gorg was to have been murdered. Maybe an Athanasius became a Christian that way, but not the Athanasius.

Whatever. The point is, Gorg is a good type for Russ Feingold.

See, when Russ is quoted in The Nation as saying:
"That the government may be secretly collecting, and using data mining to analyze, the phone records of millions of law-abiding Americans, as reported in the press today, is a frightening prospect. It is time for the Administration to come clean with Congress and the American people. We can effectively fight terrorism and protect privacy, the rule of law, and separation of powers, but only if we have a President who believes in these principles."
-he's setting himself up to slay the dragon of an imperial unitary executive so we can all eventually see the light, leave the darkness of secrecy and fear-mongering behind us, and embrace a progressive Feingold presidency. Or, he'll get his head chopped off. One or two people will say, "Hey, what he was standing for is important." And that will be that.

-Dang!- I meant to inlcude a running joke in this. I came back and saw I didn't. So now I've fixed it.

So Take a Look at Me Now...

I'll repeat that I am not conventionally wise. I mentioned before that the coming confirmation hearings for Hayden will bring up the domestic spying program- an issue that I think will hurt Republicans (and should hurt Democrats who don't have the decency or gumption- that's right I said gumption to defend the Constitution and stand for what's right).

Nows there's more news that bodes ill for Hayden.

USA Today, in a tone and style only USA Today goes for, laid out the NSA domestic call mining situation in a pretty straightforward way.

It seems to directly go where the president won't in asking, "What about my phone calls?"
"Q: Does the NSA's domestic program mean that my calling records have been secretly collected?
A: In all likelihood, yes. The NSA collected the records of billions of domestic calls. Those include calls from home phones and wireless phones."

USA Today wrote that yesterday; today the president offered a bit of misdirection on the issue. I am not saying the president is lying. Just like a magician isn't lying when he waves his right hand around while doing something with his left. Watch:

THE PRESIDENT: After September the 11th, I vowed to the American people that our government would do everything within the law to protect them against another terrorist attack. As part of this effort, I authorized the National Security Agency to intercept the international communications of people with known links to al Qaeda and related terrorist organizations. In other words, if al Qaeda or their associates are making calls into the United States or out of the United States, we want to know what they're saying.

Well it's not a surprise he mentioned 9/11 there is it? Okay moving on... Hey he's talking about the warrantless domestic spying- the USA Today article is about the NSA mining the records of all our phone calls. What!? Oh hey where did the jack of diamonds come from?

That's tricky. What else does he say?

(1) First, our international activities strictly target al Qaeda and their known affiliates. (1a )Al Qaeda is our enemy, and we want to know their plans. (2) Second, the government does not listen to domestic phone calls (2a) without court approval. (3) Third, the intelligence activities I authorized are lawful (3a) and have been briefed to appropriate members of Congress, both Republican and Democrat. (4) Fourth, the privacy of ordinary Americans is fiercely protected in all our activities.

1- Well this is a domestic activity under discussion.
1a- Oh that's right
2- The article is about collecting call data records- not eavesdropping
2a- Again it's not about the domestic NSA eavesdropping; even if it were it seems one end of the call being domestic would require a warrant
3- They seem to rely on a tautological argument though about executive authority- if the president does it it isn't illegal
3a- Briefing Congress is not the same as having a warrant and it doesn't mean it's legal
4- What does that term "ordinary" mean? And is he saying that possibly violating the 4th amendment is how privacy is protected? That's a possible CYA meaning. And it's all a whole lot of misdirection. The new straw on the camel is domestic call data collection, he's talking about the previous straw. Of course I am assuming this presidential statement has anything to do with the news about Verizon et al hanging us out to dry.

Anyway all this was just to say I think the odds for Hayden getting the Myers just changed. Good news for you folks that locked in at 5:1, bad news for you if you're waiting. I'm calling it 3:1 without a hearing and even money if there is.

Good grief- I'm supposed to be finishing a paper right now.

Equal Time

It may seem that the Daily Feingold is an uncritical hagiography of Wisconsin Senator Russ Feingold. I don't see it as such. But maybe it's not so clear what the Daily Feingold is for or what I am thinking of Russ Feingold when I offer the Daily Feingold. Well, remember my Russ Feingold posts will continue until I get a comment from a Feingold staffer; we must stay the course until the mission is accomplished. And remember that I think I like Russ Feingold but that doesn't mean my liking is blind or uncritical.

Still, for some, my Daily Feingold may seem too fawning. I don't think it is, but for anyone that wants something else- bearing in mind we can't stop doing the Daily Feingold- I offer this:

Russ Feingold says Terrorism is Our Fault
Now as far as an other perspective goes, this might be a bit unfair. The link is to Rush Limbaugh and he's a bit of an idiot. Russ Feingold doesn't really say terrorism is our fault. It's a lie, part of the Rush M.O. to distort, fabricate, and generally be so far removed from actuality to be a worthless source of anything more than garbage or an indicator of how lame someone who quotes him in earnest might be. So when I say here's an other view of Russ Feingold for you and offer a Limbaugh link, it's like I'm setting up a straw man. I mean only a mental cripple would trust Rush Limbaugh's perspective on anything. So how can this be a fair set up?

Well I looked, and Russ Feingold is apparently so great this is all there is. Oh I'm just lying, but deal with it.

Lions and Tigers and iPods... Oh My

A local kilo church (I'm sure you can figure that out) rented a lion to illustrate something for one of the pastor's sermons. They tend to go through Revelation over and over... and over again. So the lion was an illustration for that. It turns out that the lion was only available for the morning services so they rented a tiger to show up for the evening services. The tiger, perhaps offended at playing second fiddle to a lion or saddened by its exclusion from the Bible, peed on stage. (Is stage the correct term? Hmm... it's not an apse. In this case, yes; it is most certainly a stage.)

I know that sounds like the set up for a joke or a parody of the things churches do, but it's not. It is, but it is also an actual event. Well, I've been told it actually happened. When I tried to find a citation for this, Google searches for this story turned up a lot of MySpace pages. That's funny to me too. Anyway, here's the lion at church. But there's no picture of a tiger. You'd think a tiger would be photo-worthy too, so maybe it's a snub for the peeing on stage. Or maybe it never happened. I trust the source but have no external confirmation, so take it however you will. Lion yes, tiger maybe.

An other church, more mega than kilo, is giving away iPod Shuffles with sermons about The DaVinci Code so that parishoners (Is parish the correct term? Probably not.) can give them to their non-churched friends or keep them for themselves.

So the question is: which would you rather have? I really want an iPod- even the poorman's iPod Shuffle. I would be willing to listen to a crappy sermon for a free iPod Shuffle. So that's tempting. But a lion's a lion. I mean come on. People here get excited when a house cat wanders into the sanctuary, imagine what we'd do with a lion; that would be such an authentic experience. But I think I get enough authentic experiences so I'd pick the iPod Shuffle.

Our church, barely hecto, doesn't have any plans to wow people with lions or draw them in with iPods. We don't even have plans to talk about The DaVinci Code. What can we say we have to offer? It's like we have no idea what church is about.

Oh well.

Q: What's Your Favorite Subject? A: Recess.

Dear Mr. President,

You were recently asked what your best moment in office was. You said it was catching a fish. I realize you were talking to a German journalist so there may have been some language difficulties. But that still seems an odd answer.

I don't happen to agree with your decision to preemptively invade Iraq, but I figure the images of some Iraqis tearing down a statue of Saddam Hussein would be pretty good for you. Or how about Saddam being on trial? Or even if it's faltering, divided and missing many deadlines, there's at least the beginning of some kind of government in Iraq- isn't that something? I mean you've pretty much staked your reputation on how that turns out. I know you don't read newspapers but that's something you should know about.

Or how about your comeback in the 2004 election? Most everybody had you down for the count and you seemed to think you were on your way out. But you won; you don't have to read a newspaper to know that. And since you don't read papers or listen to polls it has to give you the impression that that was some kind of vindication of all your policies.

Those seem to be good moments. But catching a fish? That's weird.

But that's your prerogative. You can use any measure of greatness you'd like. But you should know, my greatest moment of your presidency is better than yours. I caught a prize-winning Sand Bass out of Long Beach. That was quite a day. I don't want to brag, but it was more, a lot more, than 7.5 pounds. But that was from the ocean, not my own private lake. Still, a bigger fish is a bigger fish. By that objective, empirical measure your best moment isn't so great.

Also if you had picked something else, something like I mentioned above, people could debate and wrangle over the details, but ultimately you could leave it, as you like to say, for history to judge. I mean Kennedy averting nuclear war, LBJ signing Civil Rights legislation, Reagan challenging Gorbachev to tear down a wall, your dad liberating Kuwait, Clinton bringing about the Dayton Accords, illusory or not, they seem to stand out in history as great moments. And like or loathe the presidents, they are pretty good moments. But a fish?

Like I said, you get to define the best moment of your presidency however you like, but I think I should tell you, most Americans don't approve of the job you're doing. A lot of people, well most people, think we're on the wrong track. They think you're doing a bad job. That's probably not easy to read, but you should know. And if you say something like catching a fish was the best moment of your presidency it might make us think.. well, it might make us think you're crazy or that after 5 years you don't know what it means to be president.

I'm not a president. I'm just a student and sometimes a teacher so I could be way off base here. In either of those roles, if I thought I was going to be assessed as good or bad by a fish I caught, or if I thought my best moment as a student or teacher was tied to catching fish that would be nuts. If I thought that as a student or teacher I could offer fish as part of my work- even a prize winning bass- I would be laughed right out of school.

Maybe what you were thinking was something like, "The best moments of your presidency are those times when you can get away and relax- take your mind off of the responsibilities of your job- when you can just clear brush, ride your bike, and fish." You do like to get away, don't you. I understand that; with all I have to do, I like to get away, kick a ball around, or just play video games. Unfortunately, your job requires a lot of you. It may be more than you're used to or more work than you grew up expecting but thems the breaks.

Anyway take care. Don't worry too much, you've only got until '08, or, cross your fingers, maybe '06.

Sincerely,
---

It's Just Like a Cat Except It Has Fins, Gills, Scales, and Lives in the Water

After two decades of searching for her authentic self- exploring New Age theories, giving away cars, trotting out fat, recommending good books and tackling countless issues from serious to frivolous - Oprah Winfrey has risen to a new level of guru...

She's a really hip and materialistic Mother Teresa.

USA Today via AOL

I think Oprah's pretty cool, but Mother Teresa? Do we understand what Mother Teresa was doing? She wouldn't be Mother Teresa if she was really hip and materialistic right? And doesn't the allure of embracing Oprah's life and the challenge of embracing Mother Teresa's life suggest there's more at stake and at the heart of their lives.

I don't know anything more about Oprah Winfrey than what I see in the news and sometimes on her show. She seems to be using her place and influence in the world for good; I'm not knocking Oprah, I'm knocking the dummy that said she's Mother Teresa.

Oh Just Another Kind of Outdoor Game...

I asked an English girl I knew to speak for her entire country and asked her what she thought of us. Us being all of us- the US. She said "they" liked a lot of American culture, they liked most individual Americans they encountered, thought we were a bit Puritanical in our sensitivity toward language and naughty bits, and wondered how collectively we could put a man like W, who by most estimates seems a bit dim, in charge of our country and make him so responsible for the well-being of the world.

Well, he promised to lower taxes; that matters quite a bit to us. And Americans aren't big fans of intellectuals or cultural elites. We sometimes pretend to respect brains but then in the back of our minds we're thinking of the kids that reminded our teachers they forgot to give us homework or the jerks who correct our pronunciations or correct us when we say something verifiably wrong. And even though we're overwhelmed by evidence that we worship wealth, power and celebrity we pretend to prefer a folksy plainness- but only if it's an affectation or a mythic kind of folksiness. I mean you have to have an Ivy League background if you want to get away with saying "ain't" and wearing cowboy boots. If you clear brush for a living, or if putting food on your table earns you calluses and blisters, we don't want to know about you; you're dirty, probably smell, and are more than likely poor. We're not big fans of poor people. But if you do it for fun- hey that's endearing and homey.

We're weird. That's our excuse. But we're also generous. And this isn't lost on the rest of the global neighborhood.

That's cool. As long as we remember there are different kinds of generous neighbors. There's the neighbor who comes to your house craps in your tub, stains your rug, breaks a couple of things, and gives you $50 for your trouble (but not before stealing a couple of CDs- you'll notice later). And then there's the neighbor who helps you chop down a tree for a beer or a sandwich. I want us to be the beer neighbor. It's easier to make up for something like your dog pooping in their yard every now and then if you're the beer neighbor.

Who Else Gives You Free MP3 Downloads?
Underture- The Who
How I Could Just Kill a Man- Rage Against the Machine
22nd Century Man- The Briefs
Amor ti vieta -Jussi Bjorling
Silver- The Pixies
I Wanna Be Your Lover- Prince
Caravan- Dizzy Gillespie
Solitary Confinement- The Weirdos
Turn On Your Love Light- The Grateful Dead

Have a Happy Day

Wal Mart to French Guy: "Hey, how can anyone patent trademark something as ubiquitous as the smiley face icon? Be serious, anyone can use it."

Wal Mart to rest of world: "The smiley face is ours, if you even think of using it, we will crush you!"

Free MP3 Downloads!

Would you like to know what Russ Feingold has to say about running for president? Well then don't listen to the MP3, I don't care. But if you do want to hear it- there it is, an interview with Russ Feingold- courtesy of Wisconsin Radio Network.

Yesterday I asked if anyone else smelled Myers around the Hayden CIA nomination. My guess is it'll be scuttled because it'll bring to light issues in the domestic spying program.

Conventional wisdom says Republicans want the debate because they get to highlight how the program was targeting Al Qaeda. It shows how much Democrats want Osama Bin Laden to rule America.

I'm not conventionally wise so I see it a bit differently. It'll also get to highlight how it was done without a warrant- how it violated our Constitution. That's not so good. It'll give Democrats, like Russ Feingold (Senate Intelligence Committee), the opportunity to state how wiretaps can be done legally and how the current administration has opted to do them illegally.

Then again, that's assuming Democrats can be more than nematodes. That's the weak link.

Do you want another MP3? Well here's Russ Feingold talking about the Hayden nomination- again courtesy of WRN.

What an abundant Daily Feingold we have today.

Is It Wrong to Steal Bread to Feed Your Family

What if your family doesn't like bread? Suppose they like Kobe steaks. And suppose it's not your family you're stealing for, suppose it's strangers who happen to be chronically unemployed. Is it wrong to steal Kobe steaks to feed poor people?

Okay let's say it's wrong. Is it wrong to take a sort of glee in this story?

Okay we'll say that's wrong too. Is it wrong to link to it so you can read it?

via Boing

Of Dinosaurs and Jesus

I don't have much to do with the Emergent Church. I'm not against the general ethos of the Emergent movement- some of it strikes me as silly and contrived- but, whatever- I see it's value and appreciate that some people will know the Gospel through it. I am just not one of those people.

Well, to be clear, I am one of those people insofar as I understand there is no inherent value in forms and practices, and as our understanding of words change, our conception of the whole world changes as well- understanding that is an active practice and doesn't come from simply rejecting what was, but adapting and searching. So I'm "emergent" in that regard. But to make a caricature of it, simply removing given forms doesn't reveal an authentic spirituality- just like removing our body doesn't reveal who we really are.

It's perhaps a bit like teaching. Teaching isn't in having stone faces forward, books open, pens at the ready, in a rigidly uniform environment. You don't want cell phones going on in class, but if you can't adapt to the occasional phone ringing or other nonsense that occurs in real life- you're not much of a teacher. God isn't IN forms, institutions, and words. But if you can't know God through the institutions, forms, and words, you're gonna have that problem regardless.

Well, maybe to be more clear, I guess the forms and practices I embrace as "authentic" happen to be part of a "traditional" church setting. Though my "traditional" church setting is by varying definition of traditional, possibly not traditional.

Still, my pastor isn't tattooed. He actually lets people call him "pastor." We don't meet in a studio or cafe. And we actually have people over 70 in our community of faith. But perhaps the thing is the approach, and I buy the approach... or I bought the approach before I knew someone was going to turn it into an approach... or I bought the approach articulated by Friends a long time ago. Who themselves, whether cognizant or not, were discovering an expression that was already centuries old- and not, contrary to conventional wisdom- isolated to the mysterious "East." It's harder to uncover in some places than it is in others, but it's always there... waiting for us to stop feeding on pods for the swine.

What was my point...? Oh right- I was thinking of words and the illusion of their permanence- and I was actually thinking of it in relation to The Da Vinci Code. I knew about The Da Vinci Code conspiracy premise long before I knew there was a Da Vinci Code book. I used to work with a guy who was BIG into conspiracy theories. We taught at the same school- a private "Christian school." (And I was the one not allowed to teach in the Bible department). I like conspiracy theories too- in the same way I like totems, fetishes, rumors, myths, and what not. I like to explore what they say about us and who we think we are. So we would talk- me and the conspiracy-minded Bob Jones graduate.

But The Da Vinci Code, it's fiction- we understand that, right? I mean we know we can't find Dinosaurs in some South American zoo, right? We understand how fiction works? Even "historical" fiction- we know it's still fiction. Lots of somebodies rafted down the Mississippi but it doesn't mean Huck and Jim did- does it? And even if there's an agenda- we should be able to read through it shouldn't we? And the mythology behind the fiction- even in The Da Vinci Code, we know that's not new or unique, don't we?

Well you should- and I figure the high minded readers of this blog do. But on to words. Words mean something- I like to say that. But they don't mean the same something to everybody. Even the same words don't mean the same thing. We could reduce this all the way to individuals or even the self and wonder to what degree we can understand each other, but let's be serious for a moment.

I think The Da Vinci Code code is a good thing for the moment, if only because, at the very least, it requires us to actively wonder who and what Christ is and what we mean or what we claim when we say it has any meaning to us. For starters we better not be pretending Jesus is some object for us to know. For... continuers... we better realize we are in a continuing struggle for understanding.

So in the current Sojourners, Brian McLaren writes on the possible conversations we can have because of The DaVinci Code movie. While he settles on saying "it at least serves to open up the possibility that the church's conventional version of Jesus may not do him justice" and closes with the Emergent refrain of "authenticity" he at least makes the point that The DaVinci Code should be as scary to you as Velociraptors swimming to the mainland (perhaps not in those words).

I don't entirely buy his premise that readers are rejecting the dominant Christian understanding of Jesus, ergo are turning to The DaVinci Code for meaning. But I do buy that there is an avenue for understanding who we think and say we are in this phenomenon. I also like that he makes the point that the Left Behind series is perhaps more pernicious because it claims to be Christian whereas The DaVinci Code doesn't. Whatever. Can we agree that there are things scarier than hackneyed fiction and maybe turn that critical eye toward our own claims about Jesus?

A Couple of Headlines That Speak for Themselves... If I Frame Them Right

Does It Smell Like Myers In Here?

Oh And Speaking of Food Stamps

And The Party on the Left...

Feingold: Democrats Must Stand up to Bush
WASHINGTON — Sen. Russ Feingold, a potential anti-war candidate in the 2008 presidential field, urged fellow Democrats on Monday to show more backbone in challenging President Bush on Iraq.

"We must get out of our political foxholes and be willing to clearly and specifically point out what a strategic error the Iraq invasion has been," Feingold, D-Wis., told a National Press Club audience.

AP

So I clearly have no regular format for the Daily Feingold. Whatever...

More backbone...? What party has Feingold been watching- and been a part of- lately? Backbone is the thing they need most?

Thanks for saying something, Russ Feingold, but to keep with the body metaphor, someone in a coma probably needs more than just a backbone.

If more than Harkin and Boxer were willing to co-sponsor Feingold's call for censure (which itself seems to be a bit silly Constitutionally and, in light of the illegal domestic spying program, less than what's required), if Ohio Congressional candidate Paul Hackett wasn't treated like a punk, if Democrats represented an alternative political vision that Americans seem to be longing for these days, I'd say it was just an issue of backbone.
Or maybe to take Russ Feingold's imagery further than he may have intended- what good is a backbone to a creature that has devolved into an invertebrate? I think I like you Russ Feingold, but what's it gonna take to get the slithering invertebrates to want a spine for their primitively functioning nervous systems if they're content to parasitically root around in waste and filth? To take things too far, they're not even exhibiting features that suggest the possibility of a spine- you're asking ecdysozoans to be chordates. It doesn't seem like it can happen.

So unless you do or call for something more extreme- more cataclysmic- to bring the lingering bilaterally symetrical tiploblasts in the Democratic party up to speed, you may leave me a bit cynical.

Oh and sorry about the late posting with the Daily Feingold- I was up at 5 today but Blogger wouldn't let me post anything until around 9:30. So I missed all the early morning Daily Feingold searchers, blast.

Oh and the "Evilution" reference- sorry if that bugged you too.

While We Were Talking I saw You Nodding Out

In case you forgot the differences between US and THEM, or maybe you were thinking there isn't such a think as US and THEM, here's a reminder:

WASHINGTON — Rep. Patrick J. Kennedy (D-R.I.) denied through his office Thursday that he had been drinking before he crashed a car into a Capitol Hill security barricade at 2:45 a.m.

"I consumed no alcohol prior to the incident," he said in a statement. "I will fully cooperate with the Capitol Police in whatever investigation they choose to undertake."
...

Baird wrote that the officers were not permitted to perform basic field sobriety tests and that the watch commander on duty "ordered all of the patrol division units to leave the scene."

Officers then drove Kennedy home, the congressman said in his second statement. "At no time did I ask for any special consideration," he added. "I simply complied with what the officers asked me to do."

LA Times

Well of course he didn't ask for special treatment. The point is he didn't have to. If you have to ask for special treatment you don't "deserve" it.

So there is an US and THEM but where the line is isn't clear.

If I got pulled over for driving while under the influence of drugs or alcohol I'm going to jail. If I get pulled over for an unsafe lane change, I'll probably be sent on my way. But in neither case would I ask for the particular treatment. If I shot someone in the face and then had to ask people to cover up how alcohol was involved or how long to wait to tell anyone, I don't really have "the juice" to get away with shooting someone in the face.

So maybe that's the line: what you get and know without asking.

Feingold to Address New Hampshire Convention in June

WASHINGTON- Wisconsin Senator Russ Feingold is scheduled to address New Hampshire's Democratic Party convention June Third.

That would be his third trip to the state since last fall.

New Hampshire holds the nation's first presidential primary every election year. That makes it an attractive pre-campaign destination for politicians considering a presidential run.

AP

So which is worse: going through all the motions of a presidential candidate but not declaring yourself a candidate or this larger phenomenon that gives New Hampshire such a large role in presidential politics?

Historically, winning New Hampshire isn't a predictor, John Mac Cain, Pat Buchanan, and Paul Tsongas could tell you that, but that's not a very broad field. So much attention is paid to the Granite state- appealing to a populace that hardly represents the US as a whole.

That seems like a lot of influence to wield on the rest of the country- especially from a state whose motto is "Live Free or Die, Ya' Bastahd."

We Must Stay the Course

Some cut-and-runners want me to stop my daily- or semi-regular at least- Russ Feingold updates. That won't happen until the mission is accomplished.

This isn't a popularity contest- I won't stop just because it isn't popular. That's what a popularity contest would be.

I am going to keep posting Feingold updates until one of his staffers leaves a comment about what they're up to. If I stopped now I would be giving in to the senate.gov and wisc.edu searchers.

This isn't about what you or I might want. It's about finishing a job I started and bringing you along for the ride.

Brought To You By...

It's time for the Daily Feingold then I'm going back to my books.

Isn't it great that race cars, sports arenas, and soccer players are clearly labeled by their sponsors? You know if you're rooting for cigarettes, beer, ED medication, a do it yourself store, electronics, Target, or whatever. We can do the same thing with politicians. This isn't my idea but it's still great.Stephen Pizzo of News For Real (I know, nothing taints your credibility like touting your credibility) came up with the idea.

Anyway, in that vein Russ Feingold could literally wear a Badger's uniform with ads from the Council for a Livable World, Habush Habush (?), Foley and Lardner, and Godfrey and Kahn. Those are his top 5 contributors.

My dear Senator, Barbara Boxer, is sponsored by EMILY's List, Time Warner, Viacom, the University of California, and the State of California.

I don't care what Diane Feinstein wears. But in case you do, she'd have PG&E (the bad guys from Erin Brokovich) written across her chest.

You can find out what team your favorite politicians plays for at Open Secrets.

That's all. Another stilted and quickly written post tomorrow.

Daily Feingold

This body has failed time and again to debate the direction of our country’s policy in Iraq. Three years ago the President landed on an aircraft carrier and declared “Mission Accomplished” in Iraq. Today, with thousands of lives lost and billions of dollars spent, we are still no closer to a policy that lifts the burden from our troops and taxpayers, and that actually makes our country safer from the terrorist networks that seek to hurt us...
That is why I filed an amendment requiring the Pentagon to draw up a flexible timeline for redeployment of U.S. forces from Iraq by the end of this year.

From "Statement of US Senator Russ Feingold"

You know how you start something for silly reasons and then that something takes on a life of its own and you keep doing it without thinking about why or how you'll stop? And then, even if you want to, you can't easily stop doing it because it's got its own raison d'etre and you've become so used to doing what was once anomalous you can't imagine yourself without it. I'm talking about my Russ Feingold posts- what did you think I was talking about? Oh the war in Iraq. Well, I suppose you're right. They are similar in that regard.

Well then how thoughtful of Russ Feingold to offer some vision for bringing the military mission in Iraq to an end.

All Right, The Last Post of The Day

How could I not talk about this?

There's a very real danger that the issues surrounding immigration will devolve into... or I guess remain at imagining one side is nothing but a bunch of xenophobic racists and the other advocates a stick it to The Man borderless, free for all. Racists (we decided Joe Turner is) and Reconquistas (even apart from Michelle Malkins to the MAX! caricature of protestors) do have a dog in this fight, but there is so much more at stake here than whether America is a land of immigrants and how that's defined.

The way the debate is often framed now illustrates some of the ugliest tendencies of humanity. The ugly elements are there, but it's possible and necessary to get past them.

Just remember in all of it, criminalizing illegal immigration is a bad idea, so is creating an under protected immigrant labor force, so is full amnesty, ensuring fair living wages and labor standards in other countries accompany the free flow of goods from NAFTA and CAFTA makes sense, as does enforcing fair labor practices in the US.

Anyway, the moral questions about being a "nation of laws" and needing to make sure everyone lives under said laws are important. Be subject to the governing authorities and all that. But the questions raised by being a part of a system that relies so much on an unrepresented labor force must also be addressed.

It's usually not right when laws are broken. So illegal immigrants have to deal with that as any of us that break laws day to day do. But it's also not right that we ask (tacitly or otherwise) and expect people to participate in our domestic economy so we can glean benefits from their labor while keeping them wholly separate and unequal.

Like any good issue it's all over the place. It touches on what it means to be a Christian. It gets at what we think America is. It pokes at the ease of our lives. It questions how decent we think we are. A wall won't answer it. Making it illegal for churches to offer food or shelter to illegal immigrants won't either. It's a lot to examine and the people marching in the streets, or deliberately not in the streets, are making sure we know we are all involved.

Oh and so we don't have to talk out our butts, here's HR 4437.

Whyyyyy!? Hooooow!? Whooooo!? Whiiiiich!?

Regular commenter chris frazier killed John K. Galbraith.

In a comment Chris said, "[Spending at] the Federal level [was] beyond the point of diminishing returns for just about anything and everything that can and should be done by a group of people."

Now while I would almost completely disagree with that statement in principle and fact, (Space programs, the interwebs, the federal highway system, national parks, the postal service, FDIC, etc...) I am more troubled that soon after Chris acknowledged his hatred for federal spending, progressive Harvard economist John Galbraith died. Coincidence?

Of course there are many examples of federal administrative and financial incompetence, just as there are examples of state, county, civic, NGO, non-profit, private, and individual fiscal mismanagement. It's worth discussing how we might approach spending, how our budgets are bloated with military spending, how we might craft morally responsible budgets, what our priorities as a nation can and should be, how laissez faire anything is typically a mistake. We might even disagree in good faith, but killing the two-time Medal of Freedom winner is well out of bounds.

I now have the moral high ground.

Happy International Worker's Day to You And Happy Birthday to Me

My mom got my birth day right, but according to her birthday wishes, she has the year wrong. That's okay, I frequently have to be reminded by Cyndi how old I am.

I thought about taking the train downtown this morning- marching around a bit and taking some pictures to post here- but I didn't. I stayed home. I had a birthday burrito with Aaron at La Tolteca. I'm staying home to do homework and write what is probably my last non-Russ Feingold posts until next Monday.

So I'm not at the downtown rally today. I'm sticking it to The Man by being a brown person getting an advanced degree and by supporting Mexican owned businesses. How do you like that, The Man?

So where to begin? So much is happening. Like this: a homeschool carnival with fish people at my church. Every Monday a group of homeschool kids meets here to have their Biology class. This Monday they're celebrating what they've learned with a year-end open house. There are displays of reptiles, arthropods, birds, and at one point, though I didn't get to see them- fish people. All in all, quite an impressive display of learning.

One of these homeschool kids lost my Adidas Tango soccerball last week. This is the best ball pattern in the world and no longer made in size 5. I mentioned it to their teacher. We'll see if their decency matches their braininess.

I edited the title- why didn't anybody tell me I misspelled "workers?" Woklers? What's a wokler? - me