Blinded Me With Science

I'm working on the assumption that there is a connection between feminized fish and the new strain of granola Evangelicals. Because I have a lot of other things to do I did some searching for any studies that show torture, poverty or bullets also causing feminization. If it works for fish...

I used "lead," "pollutant," "feminization," and "sex" for one set of search criteria. So far in biology journals I've found articles on fish, reptile, amphibian, roach, and mosquito feminization caused by various pollutants; unusually high same sex pairings (!!) among birds near Super Fund sites; and I learned there is something called a mummichog. But I haven't found anything to scare people into worrying that lead (in the form of bullets) might make someone gay.

I searched some social science databases with the criteria "torture," "poverty," "bullet," and "homosexual." I found some articles that discuss sexual risk as an outcome of social oppression, some data that can be misrepresented to correlate poverty with promiscuity, and gun shot wounds and STD's- nothing that says being poor will make you gay, though. That's too bad. I hoped I could find something that would convince Evangelicals that there are social concerns other than the whats and whos of people's sex lives. Of course I'm using sex to do that- ha!

I guess I don't really need facts. What I really need is a catchy title, some proof texts, a little innuendo, and just enough data to take advantage of our good old below average rankings in science education. All that in a carefully crafted email forward might create an Evangelical movement to rival that of Antebellum America.

She's Tidied Up and I Can't Find Anything
So Much Things To Say- Bob Marley
Kim- Charlie Parker
We'll Get Over- The Staple Singers
The Union Forever- The White Stripes