Sunday, November 20, 2005

It's Not You; It's Me


This might sound much worse than I mean it: I care about me. If it does sound bad it may be because we find it difficult to care for ourselves without caring only for ourselves. That's not what I mean. I care about my self, I care about who I am and who I am becoming.

Lately I've been really wrapped up in being angry and harping on things that don't help that. Or maybe I've just been settling for being angry about things that are so easily contemptible and thinking that's worth something. Maybe that's what it is- I don't know. Right now it feels shallow.

I read the paper this morning and among other things read yet another story about the Keystone Cop approach to governance and was more disgusted with myself for reacting to it than I could or maybe should be with the actors or powers in the story. Sure it matters, and it is entirely appropriate to get upset about stuff that is upset-worthy. But I wonder if I've been settling for that- or if it's been a sort of pornography to me. Well, I guess I less wonder if it is than confess that it has been.

This doesn't mean this is how it is or need be for anyone else. I don't know anyone else.

Que Onda Guero- Beck
Take, Take, Take- The White Stripes
Gimme Shelter- The Rolling Stones
Nowhere Man- The Beatles
Come Into My Life- Jimmy Cliff

1 comment:

Skybalon said...

I freaked out when you used my name, but I'm glad my anger meant something. That may sound sarcastic but I don't mean it to.