I'm Sure in 1985, Plutonium Is Available at Every Corner Drugstore, But in 1955 It's a Little Hard to Come By

An aunt of mine remarried this weekend. Well technically she got married again for the first time.

Her first/never husband was a horrible man. He was an abusive, cheating, lying, drunk. When he was home, he was usually planted in front of the TV, drinking beer and watching soccer, crazy bug costume Mexican comedies, and Boxing. If it wasn't for my mom and grandmother I would have thought that's all there was to Spanish TV but they showed me it was also about novelas. Now I know it's also about crazy talk shows, grown ups dressed as little kids, and Sabado Gigante.

When I played with my cousins, we were told to keep it down because our noise made my not/uncle "nervous." It seems the more he drank, the more likely he was to get nervous and the more likely someone was to get smacked around.

My aunt never/eventually divorced him and after a long time married another man in a civil ceremony. She wanted a church ceremony so had to go through the process of getting an annulment.

She got her annulment so married the guy she married.

It's made my mom consider resuming the process of her annulment. That's not a happy thing. She and my dad have been divorced about 12 years now. She started the annulment process some time ago but didn't finish it because she's not getting married and it can be a very trying process.

It lays blame. It says you never had what it took to be married. It highlights your failure while at the same time there is a church official charged with contesting your claims that the marriage never was- and they are required to take the job very seriously. It doesn't allow one party to say it was all the other person's fault. It takes as reality the indissolubility of marriage. That's something I admit is necessary but I don't believe a special dispensation erases what really was. Also, I don't know how helpful it is to say, "You are so screwed up that the not marriage you were in technically never happened."

It at least acknowledges that there is more to marriage and (sotto voce) sex than simply a legal and physical arrangement. It seems to assume that the spiritual aspects of humans are as important and real as the corporeal (well I know it assumes that) even if I disagree with where it goes with that idea. Another "at least"- at least the Catholic Church treats the issue as if it is something that needs to be treated- and treated consistently at that. But still... you can't go back and pretend what was wasn't.

The cool thing about it though is it's kind of like time travel- well at least it has all those problems that need to be addressed if you were to travel back in time. Like- if you go back in time could you take anything with you- if what you have didn't exist in the time you travelled to, how could it have been made for you to take it? Or would I dissappear if my parent's marriage was annuled?

The Church long ago decreed that children from null marriages were legitimate (see- other people had the same question) and could still do all the Church-y things that needed to be done (so maybe that's not completely consistent). That's the big question my mom had. She asked me how I would feel if she got an annulment- she wanted to know if that would change how I saw myself. I reminded her I am not Catholic but still reassured her I would probably be okay.

I have a deeper appreciation for Catholicism now than I did growing up but there are a number of reasons I am decidedly not Catholic. Clarence Thomas and Antonin Scalia are only two of them. (If I were stupid, here is where I would insert "LOL.") This is probably another one.



I-Tunes Is On Fire This Morning
Pulled Up- Talking Heads
Little Acorns- The White Stripes
Come On Children, Let's Sing- Mahalia Jackson
A Night in Tunisia- Dizzy Gillespie
Razzle Dazzle- Scott Wise
Everything In Its Right Place- Radiohead
Good Vibrations- The Beach Boys
Houses of the Holy- Led Zeppelin
Wave of Mutilation- The Pixies
Mercy Mercy Me- Marvin Gaye
Overture- The Who
Problems- Sex Pistols