Congratulations on your recent advancement to this stage of candidacy. Receiving the Sacrament of Orders is a serious and life changing event. We know you have approached this matter understanding the profound privilege and responsibility it is to serve as a minister of the Church, deputed and empowered to perform certain offices of Divine worship. We hope you are making yourself ready to receive an increase of sanctifying grace, making you a fit and holy minister in the discharge of your prospective office. To help us qualify our assessment of your spiritual, mental, moral, and physical qualities required for the fitting discharge of the order, please answer the following questions. Attach additional sheets if you feel further explanation is needed.
You go to dinner with Charles Nelson Reilly, Paul Lynde, and Richard Simmons. Who do you sit by?
What is Ultra-Suede?
Would you rather drive a Dodge Neon or KITT?
Have you ever worn chaps?
Have you ever been alone with another man while listening to "It's Raining Men?"
Which of the following would you describe as "fabulous?"
Your Yorkie
Your curtains
If you are not ordained, which "career lifestyle" do you see yourself following?
Florist
Interior designer
Flight attendant
Cowboy
Motorcycle Cop
Indian
Construction Worker
Biker
What is chevre?
Thank you for taking the time to help us discern your suitability and giftedness.
Sincerely,
- - -
2 comments:
Chevre is goat cheese.
And I believe that the "career lifestyle" choice you listed as "biker" is known formally as "Leather Man".
One more question:
"When you saw President Bush in that flight suit on the aircraft carrier, did you think 'Mission Accomplished' or did you begin to hum "In the Navy" to yourself?"
1.) That's it, no ordination for you.
2.) "Leather Man?" I wonder what kind of super powers that comes with?
and
3.) When am I NOT humming "In the Navy" to myself?
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