This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things!

This is a good bird. That's why I feed it. It makes me happy to feed and watch good birds.


This is a bad bird. In fact, this dead bird was very bad. It probably made fun of other birds and ate more than its share. It's good that it's dead.

It's okay to put out bird feeders and have cats.

I tell my cats they may only kill bad birds. If my cat kills a bird, I know it must've deserved it. My cats are good.

It makes me happy to be right. I feel good about myself.

I love Christmas.