Friday, April 21, 2006

Triumph of The Swill


"Harry Potter has a new foe -- a Gwinnett County parent who wants the popular boy wizard books banned from Gwinnett County books."

Via Huffington Post

Georgia mom, Laura Mallory says, “I want to protect my kids, children and others from evil, not fill their minds with it.” Hence, no Harry Potter for her or her kids. I can dig it. People want to protect their kids from the things they think are scary or evil: witchcraft, science, people who aren't good enough to be white. I get it, you want to pass your values on to your kids. But why bother with other people's kids. Why take Harry away from everyone...

Wait a second- Laura Mallory?!

Keep the phoneme Lor and add a D- Lord. Reverse the vowel sounds in Mallory to Mollary. Remove the parallel vertical lines in the capital M so you have Vollary. Since we've set the precedent of adding Ds to the first syllable, we have Volldary. Let's lose the second L. Voldary. You can't just take away an L. We'll put it at the end. Voldaryl. So we're not confused with the pronunciation we'll change the A to E. Volderyl. RYL, as we all know, is Risk Your Life, an immersive MMORPG. (That's a Massive Multi-player Online Role Playing Game for those of you with a boyfriend, girlfriend, or spouse). And someone who risks their life can become dead or mortuus- Voldemortuus. Lord Voldemort, and after it is UUS.

Laura Mallory is Lord Voldemort is after you and us.

For those of you with a boyfriend, girlfriend, or spouse, that's the bad guy in the Harry Potter series.

2 comments:

Skybalon said...

WWHPD? I don't know.

How about we overwhelm her/him with Satyagraha?

As far as knowing anything of Harry Potter through your wife, I bet she turned you on to Harry to keep you away from MMORPGs. Am I right?

Aaron C said...

Your title is a Dead Kennedy's song, you owe me a dinner, or a antique whatchamacallit.